Today is December 31 and there are only 359 days until Christmas.  It’s never too late to start planning.  Today we remember the birthdays of Andreas Vesalius, Charles Lord Cornwallis and Bebe Neuwirth.  On this day in 1600 the British East India Company was chartered, in 1776 Rhode Island established wage and price controls to curb inflation: limit was $.70 a day for carpenters and $.42 for tailors and in 1946 President Truman officially proclaimed the end of WW II.  In the Congo it is  National Day, in Benin it is Feed Yourself Day, in Scotland it is Hogmanay Day, in the US it is National Champagne Day and Make Up Your Mind Day and worldwide it is New Years Eve.

Let me start by talking about New Years Eve.  I am sorry, but I just cannot get into having Ryan Seacrest do Dick Clark’s Rocking New Years Eve, or New Years Rocking Eve or whatever it is called.  I am sure that there is someone else out there who could do the show who is less plastic than he is.  Frankly, I think they should do something more like Guy Lombardo used to do.  That is all I want to say about that.  I go into it every year and I did not want to disappoint all of you who expect it.  They are claiming that temperatures around midnight will be close to zero.  That is just a little too cold to be standing out there.

Here are two scenarios for you to pick from.  Choice A has you standing out in the frigid cold watching various music groups gyrating and lip-syncing to their “hits.”  You are crammed into a crowd of people that you do not know.  You are wearing goofy 2018 glasses.  You had to go through very strict security to get into the area and you have not been able to get anything to eat or drink, or been able to go to the bathroom for the past four hours.  In another 30 minutes it will be midnight and if your eyes have not frozen shut you may get to see the ball drop.

Choice B has you sitting in the warm house of a friend of yours.  You are joined by other friends and having a good time.  The music is playing quietly in the background and people sing along when they hear a song they know.  Many of you are wearing some kind of New Years Eve hat, but that’s okay because you are among friends.  There is plenty of food and drink and there are two bathrooms available, so that is not a problem.  When midnight comes you will be able to watch the ball drop and get to see it on the high def, wide screen TV that your friend has.

Which do you choose?  I know a number of people who have always wanted to be in Times Square on New Years Eve.  I always tell them that they should go and that I will look to see if I can see them on TV when the camera pans the crowd.  I think you can guess which choice I would make.

I know I said last week that you had seen my last traffic rant of the year, but I was wrong.  We recently had a little bit of snow and some rain.  I had to be out on the road during those times and all I can say is that some of those drivers are lucky I am not armed.  Here is a tip to those of you who are hesitant to drive in bad weather – stay home!  If you feel like you have to go out, stay in the slow lane.  Please do not travel 20 miles under the speed limit in the middle lane.  It is not safe for you and it is a source of road rage for others.  The only benefit to having someone do that is that it gives me an opportunity to show off my profanity skills.  Unfortunately, I already have enough chances to do that.  I don’t need the added attraction of a possible accident to swear.

This past week Barbara and I traveled to South Carolina.  Let me just say that the traffic was the worst I have ever seen.  To give you an example of how bad it was, we crossed from Virginia into North Carolina at the time we should have been arriving at our destination in South Carolina.  All I ask is that all those people who were out on the road that day go home before we have to leave.  No offense, but I do not want to spend that much time looking at your silly bumper stickers and goofy stick figure families on your back window.  Thank you.

This week our fact tells us that in Natoma, Kansas it it illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits.  Other than the obvious “why did this come up” I can think of a couple other questions.  Is it okay to throw knives if they are wearing some other clothing?  What if you are in a neighboring town when you throw the knife, but your striped suited target is in Natoma?  I could go on, but why bother?

As we head into the new year, I would like to wish everyone a Happy and Healthy New Year.  May this new year bring you peace, happiness and love.  Make it a point to do something nice for someone.  Not because you have to, but because you want to.  Happy New Year!!

 Today is Sunday, December 24 and tomorrow is Christmas!  I can’t believe it!  I just finished my baking and gift wrapping last night. I hope you are all ready for the big day.  Today we remember the birthdays of Georg Motz, Christopher “Kit” Carson and Anwar El Sadat.  On this day in 640 John IV began his reign as Catholic Pope, in 1893 Henry Ford completed his first useful gas motor and in 1997, for the first time, a Chanukah candle was officially lit in Vatican City.  In Laos it is Sovereignty Day, in Libya it is Independence Day and in the US it is National Egg Nog Day.  I also wanted to remind you that Tuesday is Boxing Day.

What is Boxing Day, you ask?  Well, since you want to know I will be happy to fill that portion of your trivia folder.  Boxing Day is a holiday celebrated on the day after Christmas.  It originated in the United Kingdom.  So where does the term come from?  There are competing theories for the origins of the term, none of which is definitive.  The Oxford English Dictionary, in the 1830’s, defined it as "the first week-day after Christmas-day, observed as a holiday on which post-men, errand-boys, and servants of various kinds expect to receive a Christmas-box".  

In Britain, it was a custom for tradespeople to collect "Christmas boxes" of money or presents on the first weekday after Christmas as thanks for good service throughout the year.  This custom is linked to an older British tradition: since they would have to wait on their masters on Christmas Day, the servants of the wealthy were allowed the next day to visit their families. The employers would give each servant a box to take home containing gifts, bonuses, and sometimes leftover food.

In the UK, Boxing Day is now primarily known as a shopping holiday, much like Black Friday.  It is a time when shops hold sales, often with dramatic price reductions. For many merchants, Boxing Day has become the day of the year with the greatest revenue.  In the UK in 2009 it was estimated that up to 12 million shoppers appeared at the sales.  I hope that satisfies your need for Boxing Day information.  

I recently attended a university graduation and am now concerned regarding the future of the country.  I do not know this for a fact, but I am assuming that the graduates were given some direction on how things would work.  “You will be up on the end of the stage.  When your name is called, you will walk across the stage, shake hands with the Dean, accept your diploma and then walk off the stage.”  That seems simple enough to me.  

I would think that after working so hard for so many years, the one most important thing you would want would be proof that you actually did the work.  I was amazed at how many students had to be called back and given their diplomas.  I could understand that the first few students, caught up in the excitement, might forget.  But after watching a hundred or so people go through the routine, it should be obvious that part of the activity is to get the paperwork.  Not so!  Based on this evidence I am afraid we are doomed!

Having spent a fair amount of time on the road lately, I would like to make a request directed to all those drivers I see when on the highways.  Please get out and drive more!  Perhaps if you do you might not need to slow down to look at a police car on the side of the road.  It is really not that unusual.  Cars speed.  Occasionally a police car will pull the speeder over.  Maybe the driver did something reckless, like changing a lane without using a signal, or the driver weaved in and out of traffic in an unsafe manner.  I know, that is unusual (please note the slight tone of sarcasm), but it does happen.  There is nothing I hate worse than to be sitting in traffic, going 2 mph and then having traffic get back up to speed after we pass the police car with a pulled over driver.  If I am going to sit in traffic like that, I expect to see a big car fire or an horrific accident, with mangled vehicles and bodies on the side of the road.  Please, people, it is only a cop giving a ticket.  It is not anything that special.  Glance over, if you must, but keep moving!  There.  That will be my last traffic rant for this year, we hope.

This week our fact tells us that it is illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your back pocket in Kentucky.  Since they specifically stated the back pocket, I would assume it is okay to carry one in your front pocket.  Personally, I would rather eat the ice cream cone.  I am not sure I see the sense in carrying it in any pocket, but then I don’t live in Kentucky.  Once again I would love to know why this ever came up.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas.  This is a season of hope, love, peace, family and friends.  Regardless of whether or not you actually celebrate the holiday, I am sure you are for hope, love, peace, family and friends, so Merry Christmas in whatever form it takes for you.

Today is Sunday, December 17 and there are only 8 days until Christmas!  I can’t believe it is that close.  I have not started my baking yet!  I finally got my cards done just last night!  On the plus side, I have found the clams I have been searching for.  I hope you are further along than I am.  Today we remember the birthdays of William Floyd, Johan, King of Saxon and Makoto Moroi.  On this day in 1538 Pope Paul III excommunicated King Henry the VIII, in 1791 an NYC traffic regulation created the first one-way street and in 1903 the Wright Brothers made the first sustained motorized aircraft flight.  In Colombia it is Independence Day, in Venezuela it is Bolivar Day and in the US it is Wright Brothers Day and National Maple Syrup Day.

It has been a busy week, but I have not gotten some of things done that I should have.  I did take Barbara to her first Rockettes show, at Radio City.  It was a great show and we both enjoyed it.  One of the things that always amazes me is the tin soldier routine.  I watched it this week and while enjoying the whole thing I spent some time analyzing what was going on.  There are so many ways that the routine could fall apart that I was more impressed than before by how well they perform it.  If you have not seen the show, you should.

We went to the show with friends of ours and had a great time.  One mistake we made was going by the M & M store on our way back to the car.  We went in and I just stood there gazing hungrily at the huge tubes of M & M’s.  Some of the tubes were mixtures and some were all one color.  All you have to do is decide what you want. They know how to get you, too.  They have a number of smiling helpers standing all around the tubes handing out bags for you to fill.  It is all very simple.  You take the bag, put it under a tube of the kind you like, press a handle and the candy pours out into the bag.

The thing is that if you are not careful, you have a full bag before you know it and there is no way to return the unwanted ones to the tube.  I got a sizable amount of the dark chocolate ones and the new caramel ones.  We also got red and green ones for the holiday and Barbara got a bag of the minis.  We walked into the store, looked around, found what we wanted and just like that spent over $70 for candy.  We weren’t even in the store all that long.  I still shudder when I think what would have happened if the Hershey store had been open when we went there.

We went to a movie recently and planned the evening so that we would go to one of those all-you-can-eat buffets for dinner afterward.  We went to an early showing and I think we were the youngest ones of the ten or so people in the theater.  The place is one of those theaters that has the nice reclining seats.  If it had been a little later, I could easily have dozed off.  But I digress.  After the movie we went to eat.  As we were walking to the restaurant I saw something that I thought was interesting.  In the strip mall where the restaurant is, there is also a dollar store.  Just as we approached, I looked up and saw a woman in a full length mink coat walk into the store.  A mink coat in the dollar store!  A bit showy for my taste.  What made it better was the fact that her husband was dressed in grubby sweats.  I guess all his money was spent on her coat and there was nothing left for him to have a good wardrobe.

We went into the buffet, were seated and I waited while Barbara got her food.  I had a chance to sit and look around.  I have decided that there are four basic types of people who go to these places.  Type one is the person who has never been to one before.  They go and load up their plate and then walk back to the table looking guilty at how much they took.  They eat quickly and then go back for more.  They seem to be afraid that they will get caught taking more.  

The next type are the ones who go occasionally and get their favorites first.  After that, they graze, looking for other things they like (that would be Barbara and I).  The next type is the person who is there for the seafood.  This type loads up the plate with shrimp and/or crab legs and has to use one hand to carry the plate and one to hold the pile of food to keep it from falling.  I think these people would just stand by the food and eat if they thought they could get away with it.

The final type are the ones who go there all the time.  They are easy to spot.  They come in stretchy sweat pants and have to walk sideways between the tables.  They are also the ones that the service personnel know by name and know what drinks they prefer.  These people travel in herds and make an evening out of sitting around eating and talking.  There was one group that was there when we arrived and were still eating when we left.  They are the type of people that big and tall shops wait for.  They are also the ones that make me feel svelte, by comparison.

This week our fact tells us that when the x-ray was first discovered, a law in New Jersey was written forbidding the use of x-ray opera glasses.  Fortunately that law was removed and you could buy x-ray glasses from the back of almost any comic book.  I was never allowed to get a pair, but I wondered why you would want to see someone’s bones.  I am sure that some kids bought them thinking you would see people naked, but I knew better.  If you could they would have cost a lot more and they probably would not have been sold on comic books.

 Today is Sunday, December 10 and there are only 15 days until Christmas.  15 days!!  I still have some shopping to do and cards to send out.  OMG!  Today we remember the birthdays of Cornelis Pronk, Emily Dickinson and Paul Hardcastle.  On this day in 1520 Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict demanding he recant his “95 Theses”, in 1690 Massachusetts Bay became the first American colonial government to borrow money and in 1978 in Oslo, Menachem Begin and Anwar Sadat accepted the 1978 Nobel Peace Prize.  In Stockholm, Sweden it is Nobel Prize Presentation Day, in Thailand it is Constitution Day and in the US it is Dewey Decimal System Day and Human Rights Day.

I was out driving on the highway the other day and saw a couple things I thought were interesting.  The first was a car that went by me at a rather high rate of speed.  The fact that the car was speeding was not unusual.  I think I am one of the few people who does not.  Except when the limit is 55.  I have always thought … but I digress.  As the car went by, I noticed a sign on it that said “Internet Driving School.”  Underneath that it said “Student Driver.”  The first thing that occurred to me is that I am not sure how you teach someone to drive using the internet and the second thing I wondered was how a student driver could be driving without a licensed driver actually in the car.

One would assume that if it is the Internet Driving School, they are using the internet to teach you.  So then the question becomes how do they do that?  Do they set up Skype with the instructor watching the road through a laptop computer?  That would explain why the car was going so fast.  Bud, the instructor, is sitting in his kitchen eating donuts and drinking coffee while his student is driving.  The student is out on the road and Bud warns him to be sure to keep his eye on his speed.  The student says okay and off they go.  He tells the student to be aware of the other cars on the road and to watch his rear view mirrors.  

As the car hurtles along the highway, he asks what speed he is going and the student replies, “Just barely skimming 65, sir.”  In fact he is going around 80, but Bud is reaching for a glazed donut and doesn’t really notice.  Suddenly, the student sees flashing lights and realizes he is being pulled over.  He tells Bud that and Bud wants to know why.  The student claims not to have any idea.  The trooper walks up to the car and says, “Do you know how fast you were going?”  The student claims he was doing 65 and the trooper laughs.  He asks for license, registration and proof of insurance.  The student hands over the registration and proof, but explains that he does not have a license, just a permit.

The officer points out that when on a permit you have to have a licensed driver with you.  At this point Bud says, “That would be me officer.”  The trooper looks inside the car and says, “That would be who?”  Bud tells the student to turn the monitor around so the trooper can see him.  The trooper sees a slovenly looking man in a bathrobe and a t-shirt with donut crumbs on it.  

“Who are you,” he asks?

“I am Bud, the Internet Driving School instructor and that is my student.”

“You realize that you are supposed to be in the car with him when he is driving, right?”

“Well, I am, sort of.”

“Okay, let me explain what is about to happen here.  You are going to receive a citation for the traffic violations, the car will be impounded, your student will be taken to our barracks to wait for his parents and his permit will be suspended for a year.  I will also suggest that the state look into this operation of yours.”

“Great!  Now I’m going to have to listen to my wife telling me how she said this idea wouldn’t work and I’ll end up having to get a real job.  Thanks kid!”

That’s probably not how it really works, but it is a lot more entertaining than the real thing.  As I said, I saw a couple things.  The other thing I noticed was a sign along the highway that said “One Way” with an arrow pointing in the direction traffic was heading.  By itself, that is not unusual.  What makes it strange is that the signs are across the highway from where those “For Official Use Only” crossings are.  Generally speaking, I would think that if you are travelling east on a highway and cut through one of those crossings, you realize that you need to go west, along with all the other traffic.  You really should not need a sign.  Also, the people using them are either troopers or highway maintenance people.  I would hope that they are aware of where they are and where they are going.  If this is such a problem that they need to put up a sign, maybe there is a deeper issue that needs to be looked at.  I’m just saying… 

 This week our fact tells us that it cost more to buy a new car in the US than it cost Christopher Columbus to equip and undertake three voyages to and from the new world.  And yet, even with the technology, men still cannot always get to where they are supposed to be going.  At least Columbus had an excuse.  His ships had no GPS.

 Today is Sunday, December 3 and there are only 22 days until Christmas.  I am still trying to find the small stuffed clams I need for Christmas Eve, but otherwise things are going smoothly.  Of course it’s early, but one can hope.  Today we remember the birthdays of Gilbert Stuart, John Backus and Katarina Witt.  On this day in 1557 the first Covenant of Scottish Protestants was formed, in 1775 the first official US flag raising took place, aboard the naval vessel Alfred, and in 1969 John Lennon was offered the role of Jesus Christ in “Jesus Christ Superstar.”  In Illinois it is Admission Day, world-wide it is Heart Transplant Day and in the US it is National Roof Over Your Head Day.

It is already December.  Tempus seems to be fugiting faster all the time.  December is the twelfth and final month of the year in the Julian and Gregorian calendars.  It is the seventh and last month to have 31 days.  December got its name from the Latin word decem (meaning ten) because it was originally the tenth month of the year in the Roman calendar, which began in March. The winter days following December were not included as part of any month. Later, the months of January and February were created out of the monthless period and added to the beginning of the calendar, but December retained its name.

December’s birth flower is the Narcissus and the birthstones are turquoise, zircon and tanzanite.  December is National Egg Nog Month, National Fruitcake Month and National Pear Month.  Some other holidays during the month are National Cookie Day (12/4), National Pastry Day (12/9), National Have a Bagel Day (12/11), and National Ice Cream Day (12/13).  That should take care of your December trivia file.

As you may have read, I was away for Thanksgiving and did not have the chance to post last week.  Barbara and I travelled to South Carolina to spend the holiday with her family.  I had not met most of them and it was a great opportunity to do so.  We had dinner with her daughter and her family.  It was fun and I enjoyed spending time with them.  We then went to her brother’s house for desserts, where I met more family and friends.  They were a gracious group of folks and it was great to finally meet people I had heard so much about.

I do want to mention one thing about Thanksgiving dinner before I go on to other things.  Barbara and I took care of dinner.  Barbara ordered a dinner through one of the supermarkets down there and we picked it up the night before.  When we got there, they asked if we had ever done this before.  We said no so they opened the box to show us everything.  When the box was opened, my eyes were drawn to the turkey and I missed much of what was said about the rest of the meal.  I stared at that turkey and was quite concerned.

What they do is they cook the entire meal and then package it up, so all you have to do is heat it up when you need it.  The turkey is cooked and then wrapped to seal it.  They use a special wrap and suck all the air out to keep it fresh.  When they opened the box, all I saw was this brown, shriveled thing that looked like the original turkey’s grandmother.  Fortunately, once the wrapper was taken off, the turkey plumped up nicely and was quite good.

We drove down and I noticed a few things while we were travelling.  The first thing that became obvious to me was that my state does not have the concession on crazy drivers.  They are everywhere.  I will not bore you with a diatribe on drivers because you have heard it before.  Just substitute the different states between here and South Carolina.  Just know that the crazies are out there.  One thing I did notice was the license plate for Washington, DC.  The slogan on the bottom was “Taxation without representation.”  What I am wondering is are they bragging or simply pointing out something we already know.  When anyone asked about how long it took us to drive there, we would tell them, pointing out that we hit traffic backups in one particular state.  The reaction was always the same.  “I know.  It’s always like that there.  I hate driving through that state.”  Unfortunately, we have to go through there to get where we were going.

The other thing I wanted to mention is the behavior of men in public restrooms.  I have noticed this a number of times, but have not talked about it before.  I went into one rest area and went into the men’s room.  There was a line of urinals there and many were occupied.  I didn’t want to stare too long and risk getting arrested or propositioned, but I did make the observation that there are a number of poses that men use when in there.  Some stand there, looking down while they go.  Others look at the wall in front of them.  I do that.  I don’t really know what I am looking for.  I guess I hope to find something good to read.

Some guys lean forward with one arm against the wall like they are being frisked or are too tired to stand.  A couple showoffs stand there with their hands on their hips.  I am never sure if they are actually going or just trying to make the other guys jealous.  I have even seen a few who look around furtively.  I have never figured out what they are hoping to see.  I always wonder if they are afraid someone will sneak up behind them for some nefarious purpose.  I just want to get in, get done, get out and get going.  I usually look for a place to get coffee, if it is going to be a long ride.  Barbara thinks it’s crazy to stop to use the restroom, then buy coffee so that I will need to stop again.  What can I say?

This week our fact tells us that watching an hour-long soap opera burns more calories than watching a three-hour baseball game.  This just proves what I have always said about baseball games – they are boring.  The questions that I am sure everyone has are how did they prove this, why did they study it in the first place and what benefit is there to having this information?

Start wrapping those presents and getting your cards out.  Don’t forget to eat some cookies tomorrow.