Today is Sunday, October 29 and there are only 58 days until Boxing Day, so get those gifts for your mailman and garbage collectors ready.  Today we remember the birthdays of Charles Ebbets, Bela Lugosi and Neal Hefti.  On this day in 1682 William Penn landed in what would become Pennsylvania, in 1811 the first Ohio River steamboat left Pittsburgh for New Orleans and in 1966 the National Organization of Women was founded.  In Cyprus it is National Day, in Turkey it is Republic Day and in the US it is National Oatmeal Day and National Hermit Day.

For those of you who might be interested, National Hermit Day is a day to take some time to be alone.  It is a time to step away from the hustle and bustle of your everyday life and retreat to some place quiet.  I do that all the time.  I call it going to the bathroom.  

This past week friends of Barbara’s came to visit us from South Carolina.  They had never journeyed this far north before and we wanted to give them a sampling of what we had to offer up here.  On their first day we went to the Statue of Liberty.  They were overwhelmed, not only by the statue, but also by the views of the Manhattan skyline.  Our tickets also gave us pedestal access so we got the chance to go up there as well.  Part of the pedestal access was a spot where you could look up and see the inside of the statue.  I thought it was cool to say that we got to look up her dress.

One of the things that puzzled me was the security.  Before we boarded the boat to take us to the statue, we had to go through a complete security check.  This included all the stuff you go through at the airport.  I had no problem with that.  Once we got on the island and started to enter the pedestal access, we had to go through another check just like the first one.  What exactly were they afraid of?  I got checked, boarded a boat that went to Ellis Island and then boarded a boat to the statue.  Unless I missed it, I did not see any weapons or explosive devices being sold on Ellis Island or on the boat.  What did they think I had obtained … but I digress.

We walked around the statue pedestal and marveled at the views we had.  It was a beautiful day, the weather was great and we spent a good part of the day on the island.  All in all, we walked over 8,400 steps (3.6 miles approx.) and had a great day.  We finished the day by taking them to a diner so that they could get a good idea of what it is like to be overfed.  We saw a variety of interesting people at the statue.  One woman looked like she was dressed for a bit part in a Grade B movie, with short black skirt, tight black blouse, black fish net stockings and black leather jacket.  I saw a guy wearing a short-sleeved green plaid shirt that he had buttoned up to the neck, a pair of orange corduroy pants and red canvas shoes.  The woman he was with was dressed normally, so I am not sure what his issue was.

The next day we took them to an orchard that we like to visit.  The thing I like about this place is that I do not have to pick my own apples.  I have always felt that if I am going to pick them, I should not have to pay for them.  I am doing your work, you should be paying me, or at least giving me the apples.  Sorry, digressing again.  This place we went to had some great stuff to buy and we did – pies, donuts, a large selection of apple varieties and cider.  It gave them a chance to better understand why my waist seems to continue to expand.  It also gave them a chance to see some of the New Jersey countryside.

The next day we went down the shore.  On the way there is a premium outlet store I like to go to and, of course, we did some shopping while there.  I am always surprised at how I am able to find things to buy every time I go to outlet malls.  It is not like the prices are so incredible or the things I get are so unique.  It just seems like when I go to a place that claims to be an outlet mall, everything seems like a bargain.  I guess malls like that exist for people like me.  In any event, we shopped and then went on down the shore.  While most of the places on the boardwalk were not open, they were able to get a sense of what is would be like during the summer.  We bought some ice cream and walked on the beach.  It was great.

Their final day was spent going out to Lancaster County in Pennsylvania to visit Amish country.  We got to see some beautiful country, saw the horses and buggies the Amish use for transportation and found a good Pennsylvania Dutch farmer’s market where we were able to do some shopping.  I bought a few things even though it wasn’t a farmer’s outlet market.  In general, we had a great time and I think they really enjoyed themselves.

One thing I wondered about came up while we were on a highway in Pennsylvania.  The speed limit was 70.  I was driving the limit because I thought 70 was a good speed.  As I drove along cars were going by me.  I wondered why they felt that 70 was not fast enough to get where they were going.  If a car needs to go faster it should have emergency lights on it or a sign that says “Transplant Organs On Board.”  That’s all.  I have complained often enough about speeders, but just wanted to slip one more rant in.

This week our fact tells us that in Miami, it is illegal for men to be seen in public in any kind of strapless gown.  So my question is can they wear a strapless sun dress?  Can they wear a tube top and skirt?  Is the problem with the fact that it is strapless or that it is a gown?  I really think that they should be required to show what caused this type of rule to be created so that those of us who read it and shake our heads can better understand it.

Today is Sunday, October 22 and there are only 20 days until my birthday, so you still have time to shop.  Today we remember the birthdays of Franz Liszt, Timothy Leary and Annette Funicello.  On this day in 1746 Princeton University received its charter, in 1836 Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first elected president of the Republic of Texas and in 1938 the first Xerox copy was made.  In India, Mauritius and Singapore it is Deepavali Day, in Vatican City it is National Day and in the US it is National Nut Day and National Color Day.

Last week I attended my 50^th High School Reunion.  It was very interesting, to say the least.  Very few of the people there looked like they did in high school.  I remarked to one of my friends that I thought it was nice that many of the guys had their fathers come to the party in their place.  One of the things that made it difficult to recognize the girls was that their hair was nowhere as big as it was back then.  Many of them had also allowed the jet black color to grow out.  The guys didn’t have anywhere near as much hair and many of them had more skin than hair showing (yes, like me).

The reaction you usually saw when two people met was they would smile, look at the name tags, which had our yearbook pictures on them, and then say, “Oh my God,”  followed by your name.  Then there would be the usual questions like how are you, where are you living, do you have grandkids, etc.  On a couple of occasions I was tempted to respond with answers like, “I’m good now that I am out on parole.  I have a nice studio apartment in a walkup building in (pick your favorite lower income neighborhood).  I’m not sure about grandkids.  I sort of lost track of things over the past 15 years.”  I decided that I would behave and didn’t do that.  After the fact, I am sorry I didn’t at least once.

All in all, I am glad I went.  I had a chance to spend the evening with some good friends that I hadn’t seen for a number of years and it was nice to catch up with them.  I was also glad to see that some of the “beautiful people” from those years have gotten over that, some in a big way.  I saw a few women who definitely had some work done, some who didn’t and some who should have.  Don’t get me wrong.  The guys were not much better.  Generally speaking, many of them did not age well.  I think it would have been more interesting to not have our picture on the name tag, just our name.  I would be curious to see how many would be able to make the connection.

I had an experience the other day that I thought I would share with you.  I imagine that no one has ever really thought of this before.  I only did unintentionally.  I was logging into my email and I was getting ready to put in the password when I noticed the usual “Forgot your password” link.  Out of curiosity, I clicked on it to see what would happen.  What it does is ask a security question or two, then your email and then tells you that a link to change your password would be sent to your email address.  Great!  The only problem is that if you could not remember your password to get into your email, how are you going to access the link?  Just another one of those things that make you go “hmmmm.”

We just got back from Niagara Falls this past week and it was quite a trip.  We stayed on the US side because we do not have passports and didn’t think it was worth the time and expense to get expedited ones, just to look over at the US and wonder what it was like there.  Here is an interesting fact – Barbara and I were together essentially all the time.  My health app on my phone said that I walked approximately 11.5 miles.  Barbara’s phone (we have the same phones) said she walked a little over 12.  How can that be?  How do two people walk everywhere together and have one walk further than the other?  That is one of the problems with this new technology … but I digress.

As I was saying, we stayed on the US side.  The experience was truly something.  It was interesting to watch the river flow along.  You could see and hear the power as it got closer to the falls.  In one spot, where the rapids were really strong, there was a sign that said, “Danger!  No water entry allowed.”  Looking at the speed and the rapids, you shouldn’t need a sign to tell you that.  I am sure that there are some crazies who actually contemplate it and would like to give it a try.  There is a name for that type of person – dead.  

When we reached the point where the river actually goes over the edge, you could almost feel the power.  The mist blows and you feel it wetting you as you stand there.  It is an incredible sight.  Only two things were more exciting.  One was taking the boat ride on the Maid of the Mist.  That was a most amazing experience.  They give you ponchos and as you go by the American falls you get some mist and you figure that isn’t too bad.  Then they take you into the Canadian falls, the Horseshoe Falls, and you are enveloped on all sides by a massive spray and you wish the poncho went down and covered your feet.  It was a fantastic ride.  If you go to the falls and don’t take that ride, you wasted the trip.

The other thing that was exciting happened on our second day there.  We were standing at the head of the falls and Barbara and I became engaged.  Thank you.  You good wishes are appreciated and we will let you know where we are registered once plans are made.  We will probably be signed up with the Hurry Cane, some walk-in tubs and the AARP store, but we will let you know.

This week our fact tells us that there is actually a word for forgetting what you were about to say.  It is lethologica … sorry, I don’t remember what I had planned to say here.

Have a good week.

 Today is Sunday, October 15 and there are only 71 days until Christmas.  By now you should be playing Christmas music while you start writing your cards and those holiday letters that everyone just “loves” to get each year.  Today we remember the birthdays of Virgil Mantua, Friedrich Nietzsche and Mario Puzo.  On this day in 1520 King Henry VIII of England ordered bowling lanes at Whitehall, in 1878 Edison Electric Company was incorporated and in 1966 LBJ signed a bill creating the Department of Transportation.  In French Guiana it is Cayenne Holiday, in Tunisia it is Evacuation Day and in the US it is National Cheese Curd Day and National Grouch Day.

This past week has been interesting.  I spent almost a full day in the ER recently, suffering from an attack of vertigo.  As a result, I was initially given medication that made me want to sleep all the time.  I guess the thinking was that if I was sleeping, I wouldn’t be able to get up and be dizzy.  I took that for a day or two, but decided to go to my primary care doctor to see if there was a better way to solve this than to sleep for several weeks.  I will admit, there are times when sleeping for days at a time sounds attractive, but I do have things planned so I really needed to be able to move around.

My form of vertigo – Benign Positional Vertigo – results when crystals in the ear canal shift into the wrong position.  Episodes usually occur when the head is moved in a certain way.  This can happen when turning in bed, bending or looking up.  When I saw that it could occur when turning in bed I wondered how the doctor thought giving me a drug that made me very sleepy was a good way to deal with vertigo.  In any event, it took almost all day in the ER for them to confirm what the doctor initially said when she first examined me.  Of course, they had to do a number of tests, take x-rays and take blood.  Let me say that it is rather disturbing when the doctor comes in and says, “We did a CT scan of your brain and didn’t find anything.”  That’s odd.  I was pretty sure I had one when I came in.

It was very busy in the ER that day and they had people everywhere, including in the halls.  I was fortunate enough to be in a room.  At one point, there was a man who was set up in the hallway and he had a direct view into the room I was in.  I was lying there watching TV and chatting with Barbara.  To look at me, you wouldn’t think there was anything wrong, as long as I didn’t try to stand up.  I could tell that the guy in the hall was annoyed that I had a room and he didn’t.  He got even more annoyed when Barbara returned from the hospital café with a sandwich and a cup of Starbucks coffee for me.  They finally told me, again, that I had vertigo, gave me my prescription and sent me on my way.

One of the papers they gave me told me to follow up with my primary care doctor in a couple days, which I did.  My primary is not big on taking medications if there is a better way to deal with a problem.  She did some standard tests like “touch your nose and then touch my finger” and “follow my finger with your eyes” and other fun stuff.  She explained that vertigo is caused by the movement of these crystals and that she would be able to help me with that.  I thought, “Great!  She’ll get these things cleared and everything will be good.”  Not as easy as it sounded.  Without going into great details, let me just say that if I ever have the problem again, I think I will take the pills rather than go through that. 

The upside was that it seemed to do the trick.  The down side was that for at least the next week, there were certain things I could not do.  One of them was look down.  You have no idea how often you look down during a day until someone tells you that you can’t.  Try putting on socks or tying shoes without looking down.  Try putting on pants!  I have talked in the past how the inanimate object gremlins mess with me when I am getting dressed.  Now, suddenly, I can’t look to see what they have done.  How about going to the bathroom?  As a guy, one of my options is to stand, but now I can’t look to see if I am on target and can only hope for audible evidence that I am.  So sit down you say.  Fine, but I can’t look down to make sure I am hovering in the right location before landing.  Then of course, I have to grope for my clothing before standing up, because I am not supposed to bend, either.  

Another issue is that I have to sleep with two pillows because I am not supposed to lie flat.  I do not sleep well with two pillows and have never liked the idea of using two.  The doctor was able to determine that my right side was where the issue was.  So I was also told to avoid rolling onto that side and to not lean to that side when getting out of bed.  I won’t bore you with the various small problems that I had to work out because of that.  The big issue is that for me to get out of bed, I have to go to my right.  So now I have to move to my left, sit up and then swing around to my right to get off the bed.  The fun just never quits, or at least it won’t for another couple days.

If it were up to me, I would have had the crystals removed and used them to make jewelry.  I would have taken the pills and just laid around the house sleeping for a couple weeks, waking long enough to eat, go to the bathroom, shower occasionally and change my shirt every few days.  You ever notice that things like that are never up to you?

This week our fact tells us that the dark meat on a roast turkey has more calories than the white meat.  I mention this so that more people will eat the white meat, leaving the dark meat for me.  I don’t care about calories, as long as I don’t have to look down or roll to my right to get them.

 Today is Sunday, October 8 and there are only 58 days until National Sachertorte Day, so drag out your favorite recipes and get ready to celebrate.  Today we remember the birthdays of Eddie Rickenbacker, Spark Matsunaga and Sigourney Weaver.  On this day in 1604 the supernova called “Kepler’s nova” was first sighted, in 1822 the first Hawaiian constitution was proclaimed and in 1933 Coit Tower was dedicated in San Francisco, a monument to firefighters.  In Western Samoa today is White Sunday and in the US it is National Fluffernutter Day and National Pierogi Day.  Tomorrow is Columbus Day.

Let me take a few minutes to discuss Sachertorte.  It is a specific type of chocolate cake, or torte, invented by Austrian Franz Sacher in 1832.  It is one of the most famous Viennese culinary specialties.  In that year, Prince Wenzel von Metternich charged his personal chef with creating a special dessert for several important guests.  The head chef, having taken ill, let the task fall to his sixteen-year-old apprentice, Franz Sacher, then in his second year of training in Metternich's kitchen.  The Prince is reported to have declared, "Let there be no shame on me tonight!"  While the torte created by Sacher on this occasion is said to have delighted Metternich's guests, the dessert received no immediate further attention.  Sacher completed his training as a chef and afterward spent time in Bratislava and Budapest, ultimately settling in his hometown of Vienna, where he opened a specialty delicatessen and wine shop.

Sacher's eldest son Eduard carried on his father's culinary legacy, completing his own training in Vienna with the Royal and Imperial Pastry Chef at the Demel bakery during which time he perfected his father's recipe and developed the torte into its current form.  The cake was first served at the Demel and later at the Hotel Sacher, established by Eduard in 1876. Since then, the cake remains among the most famous of Vienna's culinary specialties.  Okay, enough of that.

Now let’s move on to the holiday we will celebrate tomorrow – Columbus Day.  First here is a man who took off for the East Indies, looking to bring back spices and riches.  He did not ask for directions and simply assumed he knew where he was going.  He ended up not landing in Japan, but on an island in the Bahamas archipelago that he named San Salvador.  Now imagine modern man going out to do something, saying he knew what he was doing and where he was going.  A couple hours later he comes home with a new set of wrenches, a hose and several 10 foot lengths of decorative molding.  His wife (the modern equivalent of Queen Isabella) says, “That’s nice, but where is the milk and cold cuts that I sent you out for?”

What makes this even better is that Columbus made two more trips to the New World and did not really bring back anything worthwhile.  As a result, after the third expedition, he was thrown into jail.  The modern man would not be thrown in jail, but would probably wish he was rather than have to listen to his wife after failing two more times.  Columbus is the European explorer credited with establishing and documenting routes to the Americas, though he was preceded by the Viking Expedition led by Leif Erickson in the 11^th century.  So one has to wonder why he is given credit for discovering America.  I think it would be interesting if the parades they hold in his honor ended up at a different location than the reviewing stands set up for the occasion.

I think I have gone into this holiday enough times in the past that we can give it a rest for now.  Just remember, guys, if you keep going out, getting lost and then not bringing home what you went out for, you will not get a holiday named for you.  You will just get into more trouble.

Moving on, I want to say that I am tired of summer.  It is October!  We should not be having days in the 80’s.  I am glad to have the chance to still go down the shore and sit on the beach, but I am ready to have some cooler weather.  Because the weather was still good, we recently went down to enjoy the waves from the hurricane that was passing by and had the opportunity to see an interesting thing.  It started with a couple who carried a turtle down to the water and kept trying to get it back into the ocean.  They placed it on the beach and watched a wave come in and push it up on the sand.  The turtle did not go into the water, so they tried again, this time taking it out and putting it in the water.  A wave came along and the turtle once again ended up on the beach.

After several more attempts it finally occurred to them that perhaps the turtle was dead, since it did not move or make any attempt to get into the water.  Realizing this, they left it on the beach and walked away.  As the afternoon went on, people walking the beach would come along, see the turtle lying there and stop to observe it.  After several minutes of looking at an inert turtle they figured out that it was either dead or sleeping.  Once or twice I saw someone try to get it to move by poking it with a stick.  There were a number of disappointed people that afternoon, all because a turtle would not move.

One more quick observation.  I have been looking at myself critically lately and realize I need to take better care of myself.  With that in mind, I thought it might be good to try growing some of my own food.  The plan has hit a snag because I cannot find bacon seeds.  Oh well, at least I tried.

This week our fact tells us that when we eat too much, our hearing becomes less sharp.  So I am not getting old, I am just getting full.