It is Sunday, November 29 and there are only 26 days until Christmas.  Yes we are less than four weeks away, so I guess you can eat last year’s Peeps now.  Today we remember the birthdays of Louisa May Alcott, Carlo Levi and Kenneth D Cameron.  On this day in 1825 the first Italian opera, “Barber of Seville” was produced in the US, in 1944 Johns Hopkins hospital performed the first open heart surgery and in 1969 the Beatles’ “Come Together” went to #1.  In Albania it is Liberation Day, in Liberia it is President Tubman’s birthday and in Massachusetts it is John F Kennedy Day.

Well, Thanksgiving has come and gone.  I think that I will be ready to eat again sometime later today.  Nothing big, maybe just a turkey sandwich with mashed potatoes, gravy and stuffing.  What always amazes me is the amount of preparation that goes into the day.  The lovely Elaine and I bought our turkey last Friday.  It was, of course, hard as a rock.  In fact I think it was harder than a rock.  We immediately put it in the refrigerator to start the thawing process.  Not like the time my brother put a turkey in his sink overnight to thaw it.  We explained that he could not just leave it sitting in the sink.  He ended up throwing it out into the woods … but I digress.

We placed the turkey in a spare refrigerator in our garage and the lovely Elaine had me checking it every 20 minutes to make sure the temperature was okay and that the appliance hadn’t quit working.  It was and it hadn’t.  We (she) made our various lists for last minute shopping, night-before preparations and Thanksgiving Day cooking and serving.  On Wednesday, after reviewing the shopping list, I made my last run to the store to get what we needed.  I then spent the day baking an apple crisp and a pumpkin cheese pie.  At one point I ran out to the store for my next last run.  Both desserts came out well and I had time to get the bakeware cleaned up before I made my last last run to the grocery store.

The lovely Elaine spent part of the evening getting as much prep work done as possible so that things would go smoothly on Thursday.  Then later in the evening we brought the bird in to get it set so that the next day we could just pop it in the oven.  Who knew that five days would not be enough to completely thaw the turkey?  It took me some time, a pair of pliers and my considerable skill with profanity, but I was finally able to remove that piece of plastic that holds the legs together.  I believe that the people who put those on the bird sit around Wednesday night and Thursday morning laughing their butts off thinking about all the people struggling to remove that thing … sorry, digressing again.

After much work and near frostbite on my hands I was able to remove the neck from the cavity.  Turning the turkey around, I found and, after more struggle and profanity, removed the bag with the other parts.  Then I ran water into the turkey to clean out the inside; however, the water did not run out the other end like it usually does.  I gave the turkey a proctologic exam so that  the water could run through and then we used vegetable oil, salt and pepper inside, wrapped the bird in plastic and returned it to the refrigerator.  Based on our planned dinner time and the fact that the thing was still slightly frozen, we felt that it would be wise to have the bird in the oven by 8 AM.

We got up in the morning brought the turkey in, got the oven going, finished prepping the bird and then popped it in the oven.  One would think that that would be the end of things for a while and that we could sit, eat breakfast, drink coffee, read the paper and relax for a couple hours.  One would be wrong.  Before I even finished my first cup of coffee, the lovely Elaine had me researching whether or not it was okay to roast a frozen turkey.  According to my research, it is.  I was not too concerned because ours was more thawed than frozen, but Elaine needed reassurance.  Then it was back to my coffee and the paper.  Speaking of the paper (if I may digress one more time), there were so many ads that just the ad section was larger than the whole regular Sunday paper, including ads.  Realistically, anyone going shopping has already planned out their strategy.  These ads should have come out this past Sunday.

Anyway, once we got the turkey under way, I had a more important task.  I wanted to research the proper way to carve a turkey.  I have been carving turkeys for a numbers of years and I am certain of several things.  One is that I really do not know what I am doing.  Another is that when I carved a turkey it looked more like a botched stabbing than a nicely carved bird.  I think the only reason no one ever complained was because my attitude has always been that if you do not like how I did something, then next time you can do it.  I watched several different videos, got some great tips and actually did a decent job carving the turkey this year.  Now my only problem is remembering the techniques so I can do it again next year. 

You are probably thinking, “Come on!  Now that you did it you will remember it next time.”  You could be right, but you are also dealing with someone who goes into the kitchen to get milk for coffee, stops to clean up some dirt on the floor and then walks out without the milk.  I could write it all down, but then the problem will be remembering that I wrote it down and where I put it so that I would have it next year.  The plus side to this is that I will watch the videos again next year and it will be like a whole new experience for me.

After all was said and done, the turkey cooked nicely, I carved it well, the kids were here, we had good food, good wine, good desserts and it was a wonderful Thanksgiving.  As I said all that prep and the meal was over in less than 30 minutes.  I hope you all had a great day, too.

This week our fact tells us that the cigarette lighter was invented before the match.  The reason the match was invented was because someone must have said, “Hey what if my lighter runs out of fluid and I don’t have any handy.  I better come up with an alternative.”

It is Sunday, November 22 and Black Friday is in 5 days.  Get out the sleeping bags, dehydrated snacks and riot gear and get ready for the special sales that offer only two of an item and you have to be there by 6 AM to have even a chance of getting one.  Remember what I have said in the past – wait a couple weeks and the sales will be much better.  Today we remember the birthdays of Erasmus Reinhold, George Eliot and Benjamin Britten.  On this day in 1809 Peregrine Williamson of Baltimore patented a steel pen, in 1910 Arthur Knight patented steel shaft golf clubs and in 1990 Margaret Thatcher announced her resignation as British Prime Minister.  In Guinea it is Portuguese Aggression Day, in Lebanon it is Independence Day and in the US National Children’s Book Week begins tomorrow.

This Thursday is Thanksgiving Day.  It is a favorite holiday of mine for several reasons.  First it ushers in the Christmas music season.  Next it ushers in the holiday eating season.  It also is one of the few holidays where you are expected to eat way too much, then sit around with your pants unbuttoned and fall asleep watching football.  The best part is that when you wake up, it is usually time to eat some more.

In 1621, the Plymouth colonists and Wampanoag Indians shared an autumn harvest feast that is acknowledged today as one of the first Thanksgiving celebrations in the colonies. For more than two centuries, days of thanksgiving were celebrated by individual colonies and states. It wasn’t until 1863, in the midst of the Civil War, that President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national Thanksgiving Day to be held each November.

Now remembered as American’s “first Thanksgiving”—although the Pilgrims themselves may not have used the term at the time—the festival lasted for three days. While no record exists of the historic banquet’s exact menu, the Pilgrim chronicler Edward Winslow wrote in his journal that Governor Bradford sent four men on a “fowling” mission in preparation for the event, and that the Wampanoag guests arrived bearing five deer. Historians have suggested that many of the dishes were likely prepared using traditional Native American spices and cooking methods. Because the Pilgrims had no oven and the Mayflower’s sugar supply had dwindled by the fall of 1621, the meal did not feature pies, cakes or other desserts, which have become a hallmark of contemporary celebrations.

In many American households, the Thanksgiving celebration has lost much of its original religious significance; instead, it now centers on cooking and sharing a bountiful meal with family and friends. Turkey, a Thanksgiving staple so ubiquitous it has become all but synonymous with the holiday, may or may not have been part of the menu when the Pilgrims hosted the inaugural feast in 1621. Today, however, nearly 90 percent of Americans eat the bird—whether roasted, baked or deep-fried—on Thanksgiving, according to the National Turkey Federation. Other traditional foods include stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie.

So there you have this year’s edition of Thanksgiving information.  I hope you are thankful for the brevity.  

I was in a quandary the other day.  I heard one time that if you wear vertical stripes it makes you look taller.  I also heard that if you wear horizontal stripes it makes you look fatter.  When I got dressed, I put on a shirt that was a window pane plaid.  So now the question is do I look fatter, but taller?  Stop by and I will put the shirt on and you can tell me your thoughts.  If you are like the lovely Elaine your thoughts will be along the lines of “he gets nuttier every day.” But, you will just give me the look.

While I was looking in the mirror trying to determine the effects of my shirt I noticed another aging issue.  I have been striving to lose a few more pounds or at least keep myself at a decent weight.  Included in that effort is walking two miles a day whenever possible.  I have had some positive results.  The problem comes when I realize that, because I am not so young anymore, my body does not recover the way it used to.  As a result, the skin does not tighten up after weight loss.  What I noticed was my neck.  In looking at other people in my age bracket I see the same issue.  Specifically, I look like I have a double wattle.  

The only way to cover that is to walk around looking down to hide it or looking up all the time to stretch it out.  Of course if I do that then people will just think I am nuts (I get that a lot).  I am going to have to think about which way to go on that.  I can always blame it on my age, especially since so many others have the same problem and some are younger than me.

This week our fact tells us that slugs have four noses.  That would explain the slimy trail they leave behind when they crawl around.  Use a tissue!

I hope you all have a happy Thanksgiving filled with good food and family.  Be sure to take a few moments to give thanks for all the good things you have.  If you get an opportunity, donate food or funds to your local food bank or soup kitchen.  Remember, not everyone has been as lucky as you.

Happy Thanksgiving!  Gobble, gobble (as in the turkey sound, not what you do at the dinner table).

It is Sunday, November 15 and there are only 11 days until Thanksgiving.  You should have started thawing the turkey by now if you want it ready to cook by then.  And hey, don’t forget to take the bag of organs out before you cook it.  Today we remember the birthdays of Sir William Herschel, Georgia O’Keeffe and Mantovani.  On this day in 1777 the Articles of Confederation were adopted by the Continental Congress, in 1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike sighted Pike’s Peak and in 1920 the League of Nations held its first meeting, in Geneva.  In Belgium it is King’s Day, in Brazil it is Republic Day and in Japan it is 7-5-3 Festival Day.

For those of you who are wondering, the Articles of Confederation was the first written constitution of the United States.  Stemming from wartime urgency, its progress was slowed by fears of central authority and extensive land claims by states before was it was ratified on March 1, 1781. Under these articles, the states remained sovereign and independent, with Congress serving as the last resort on appeal of disputes.  Congress was also given the authority to make treaties and alliances, maintain armed forces and coin money.  However, the central government lacked the ability to levy taxes and regulate commerce, issues that led to the Constitutional Convention in 1787 for the creation of new federal laws.  So you can see that even back then the government wanted more control.  I hope you will find this information useful the next time you are at a party making small talk.

Big news!  The stairs have been completed.  The permit has been signed off.  Now we just have to wait for the town to give the CO and then we are completely done with the old house and can move on.  I know you are all waiting to hear about the experiences we had in getting all this taken care of, but it will have to wait until everything is official.  I do not want to take the slightest chance that something I write could screw things up.  Stay tuned.

This past week, I celebrated the 36^th anniversary of my 30^th birthday.  People always ask how it feels to be whatever age you are.  I always tell them I don’t know, I just got there.  I am not really sure how I feel.  Part of me never expected to ever be this old.  When you were a kid, you thought about being over 60 and you figured that if you got there you would be an old, decrepit guy with no hair, hearing aids, and a cane or walker.  You pictured yourself wearing plaid shirts buttoned up to the collar and wearing pants with the waist band pulled up to just under your nipples.  I was always sure that I would be a nice old guy who had no teeth, couldn’t hear and just sat around waiting for my next trip to the bathroom.

As I matured (even though some would argue that I haven’t yet), I realized that I might not be as bad off as I originally thought.  True, I do not hear as well as I used to, but I am not ready for hearing aids yet.  While I do not have as much hair as I used to and some of it stops at my nose and my ears, I still have a decent amount and not all of it is gray.  I am nowhere near as bad as I thought I would be when I was a kid.  To be honest, when I was a kid I had a hard time thinking this far into the future.

When I was 12, there is no way you would have convinced me that I would see the turn of the century.  “The year 2000?  Are you kidding?  I’ll be dead long before that happens.”  I don’t know if I was just dumb or if I really believed that I would not last that long.  It was hard to imagine, back in 1961 that I would ever experience something like that.  But here I am, 15 years past the turn.  I am 66 and still standing.  If I had known that I was going to make it this far, I might have taken better care of myself!

  But seriously, I still have a lot of things I want to do.  I intend to hang around for quite some time.  I think the key is to keep active.  They say that you are only as old as you feel.  While I do not feel like I am in my twenties, I also do not feel like I am in my eighties.  I actually feel like I am 66 and that’s a good thing.

This week I have a series of facts for you, more small talk fodder.  The average human bladder can hold 13 ounces of liquid.  This would explain my multiple trips to the bathroom on Veterans Day.  I had my usual two cups of coffee at breakfast.  Add to that three stops at various Starbucks because they were giving away free 12 ounce coffees to veterans.

The average person spends 12 weeks a year “looking for things.”  If the average person has just moved into a new home, like we did, they will spend more time than that just figuring out where they put stuff after they put it away.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.  I usually fall asleep as my head hits the pillow. 

The average American looks at eight houses before buying one.  Does that include the ones you view on-line?  We looked at a lot more than eight if it does.

The average US marriage lasts about 9.4 years.  The lovely Elaine and I have been married for over 42 years.  I guess we are above average.

The average North American will eat 35,000 cookies during their life span.  Please!  I beat that number a long time ago just eating the cookies my mother used to make at Christmas.

And finally, the average person spends about two years on the phone in a lifetime and most of that is done listening to lousy hold music and being told that my call is important.

It is Sunday, November 8 and there are only 47 days until Christmas (only 18 days until I can start playing Christmas music) so start digging out the cookie recipes and getting the baking pans ready.  Today we remember the birthdays of Sir Edmond Halley, Jerome Hines and Morley Safer.  On this day in 1789 Bourbon Whiskey was first distilled from corn by Elijah Craig in Bourbon, Kentucky, in 1895 Wilhelm Rontgen discovered x-rays and in 1983 Martha Layne Collins was elected the first female governor of Kentucky.  It is Admission Day in Montana.

Before I get into the various items I have to discuss this week, let me take a moment to be serious.  This Wednesday is Veterans Day.  When I was younger, it was a big deal.  Schools were closed and government offices closed down.  Towns held parades.  It also happens to be my birthday.  I used to tell the kids in our neighborhood that we got off from school and had a parade because it was my birthday.  They bought that line for several years … but I digress.

On the 11^th hour of the 11^th day of the 11^th month of 1918, an armistice was declared between the Allied nations and Germany in the First World War.  Commemorated as Armistice Day beginning the following year, November 11^th became a legal Federal holiday in the US in 1938.  In the aftermath of World War II and Korea, Armistice Day became Veterans Day.  On Wednesday, if you know a veteran or if you see one (you will know them by their caps or their jackets), take a moment to thank them for their service.  Not all of us did it voluntarily, but we all served nonetheless.  You would be surprised how much it means to be thanked for serving.

This past week was one of observations.  One of the things I observed was a sign on a truck.  If you have travelled on any highways lately, you have probably seen this sign at some point.  It is usually an orange sign on the back of a truck and it says, “Construction Vehicle.  Do not follow!”  I have seen it a number of times and have always wondered what it means.  Are there drivers out there who actually follow trucks?  Why?  What is it they hope to accomplish by following a truck?  If you know anyone who understands what those signs mean, please let me know.  I would love to find out.  Thanks!

I generally try to avoid driving behind trucks.  Being behind a truck makes it difficult to see what is going on in the road ahead of you.  Another thing to consider is tire debris.  We have all seen the huge pieces of tire lying in the road that have come off of a truck.  When a truck is going 60 or 70 miles an hour and a piece of tire flies off, it is going to do some major damage to whatever it hits.  I generally try to make sure it is not hitting me.  My recommendation is to not follow trucks as a general rule.  You might get hit by tire pieces or it might be a construction vehicle without a sign.

Things have settled down to a point where we actually had a chance to go to the mall recently.  While the lovely Elaine went shopping, I went to the Starbucks, got a cup of Thanksgiving blend and had a chance to do some people watching.  The place where I was sitting was near an escalator.  As I watched, I noticed a woman who was in quite a hurry to get to the bottom.  She pushed her way down the stairs, annoying several people in the process.  Since there is a food court on the level above, I thought that maybe she worked in one of the stores and was late getting back from lunch.  Whatever the reason, she was obviously in a hurry.  What made this episode unusual was when she got to the bottom.  She stepped off the escalator and stood to the side to wait for her friend who was apparently not in as big a hurry.  As the lovely Elaine has said many times, “You can’t make this stuff up.”

The place where I was sitting is a counter that has stools on either side.  It is right outside the Starbucks and has outlets for plugging in electronic devices.  Sitting near the end of the counter was a group of people enjoying their beverages.  As they conversed, there was one woman who was quieter than the others.  When she spoke, they had to keep asking her to repeat what she had said.  Generally, when she did she spoke a little louder.  The interesting part came when she got a call on her phone.  She would then start to talk loudly, causing people walking by to turn and look to see what the hollering was about. The response from her friends indicated that this was typical for her.  As soon as she finished a call she went back to being soft-spoken.

It reminded me of when the lovely Elaine first got a cell phone.  She used to speak rather loudly, too.  I pointed out to her that the person on the other end could hear her.  I reminded her that she was using a telephone not a megaphone.  It was not necessary to yell just because they were several miles away.  She has gotten better, but still tends to speak louder when on her cell phone.  

There was one other thing with the escalator that I thought was quite amusing.  There was a family with four kids – three girls and a boy.  The boy was content to sit and play whatever game console he had.  The parents were sitting, enjoying their coffee, but the little girls were getting restless.  The one girl said something to her mother, who nodded, and the girls walked over to the escalator.  They spent the next ten minutes riding the escalator.  They would go up to the top, get off, stand at the railing, wave to their parents and then ride back down.  When they reached the bottom, they would go up and repeat the process.  They had a great time, the parents had a respite, the son was oblivious and all was well. Ah, the joy of simplicity.

This week our fact tells us that the average American spends six months at red lights throughout his or her life.  And yet, when the light turns green, you still have to beep to get them to go.  Does that figure into the six month thing or is that only for when the light is actually red?