It is Sunday, August 30 and there are only 72 shopping days until my birthday.  Today we remember the birthdays of Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, Huey P Long and Warren Buffet.  On this day in 257 St. Sixtus II began his reign as Catholic Pope, in 1850 Honolulu officially became a city and in 1967 the US Senate confirmed Thurgood Marshall as the first black Supreme Court justice.  In Afghanistan it is Children’s Day, in Gibralter it is Bank Holiday and in Turkey it is Victory Day.

Well, the big day is coming closer.  Soon we will be moving out of our house of 36 years and moving into our new home.  We have had the new place for a month now, but it has taken this long to get it cleaned and ready for us to live in.  As I mentioned in the past, the prior owners were not slobs, but they were casual about cleaning.  On the other hand, the lovely Elaine is obsessive about cleaning, trying to erase any evidence of the people who were there before. 

One of the most recent issues was the need to clean up all the paint spatters as a result of the DIY painting done by the former tenants.  Yes we had painting done, but the spatters were not the colors we used.  They were the colors that we covered up.  They did not tape around outlets and switch plates so those all had to be scraped and cleaned.  The lovely Elaine spent one afternoon sitting on the floor of the one bathroom scraping the paint off the floor with a razor blade.  I was content to leave it and just tell people that it was the design in the tile.  She gave me the look and then got back to work.

We have shampooed the rugs and cleaned the floors.  The windows have all been washed, inside and out, and the frames and screens vacuumed.  The stove and microwave have been degreased and cleaned, the counters scrubbed, the bathroom floors scrubbed (yes scrubbed, as in me on my hands and knees with a brush) and all the fans and light fixtures have been cleaned.  I cannot think of anything we missed, but if I do I will not tell her about it or we will end up taking whatever it is down or apart and cleaning it thoroughly.  

A problem we have also been having lately is losing things.  We have the item in our hand, put it down and then cannot find it when we need it.  I am not sure why this keeps happening, but it is becoming maddening.  The worst part is that when we finally find it, it is right out in the open and we cannot figure out why it took so long to see it.  I read a short story once that claimed that there are elves that exist in the world between seconds.  The story claimed that the elves would move things around during the period of time between the seconds and sometimes they would not get the objects back in time.  They would then have to wait for the next opportunity to replace the item.  That is why you cannot find something and then suddenly it is right where you left it.  At the time I thought that was a most unusual  far-fetched idea.  Lately, I am beginning to wonder if it is actually possible.

We are still going through the various levels of foolishness with the town where our old house is.  I do not want to discuss it too much now because I do not want to take the chance that one of them will read this and be offended.  I doubt that they would see it, but it would be my luck to have someone see it and tell them about it.  I will fill you in on all that once we are out and done with that circus.

On a different subject, we were out recently and went along a stretch of road that had bicycles painted on the road.  I am not sure what the symbols represented, but they were all along this one section, in both directions.  I looked at them and felt that something was needed.  The symbol was just a bicycle.  I told the lovely Elaine that I wanted to come back some evening and paint stick figures on the bikes doing various tricks.  She told me I couldn’t.  When I asked why, she said she had enough to do with the new house.  She did not want to have to waste time bailing me out of jail and going to court with me.  I try to offer new experiences for her, but she just isn’t always interested.

This week our fact tells us that only the male turkey gobbles.  Females make a clicking noise.  Most married men know that sound.  When you see it in print it is spelled tsk, tsk.  I get that noise a lot from the lovely Elaine.

Have a good week!

It is Sunday, August 23 and there are only 69 days until Halloween.  I can’t decide if I should be a mutant ninja turtle or just wrap myself in plastic wrap and go as a sausage.  Today we remember the birthdays of Oliver Hazard Perry, Gene Kelly and Queen Noor.  On this day in 1617 the first one-way streets were established, in London, in 1869 the first carload of freight, boots and shoes, arrived in San Francisco, from Boston and in 1963 the Beatles released “She Loves You” in the UK.  It is Liberation Day in Romania and Umhlanga Day in Swaziland.

We continue to work toward making the final move to our new house.  This past week, we had carpet installed in the master bedroom.  I am constantly amazed at how quickly people can get work done when they have the right tools and know what they are doing.  Two guys showed up at our house to do the work.  They first had to remove the laminate floor that was there.  We did not like it, it was a not-to-well done DIY project and we prefer a rug in our bedroom, so the floor had to go.  

These two guys were able to pull up the old floor, put down padding and install the new rug in the bedroom and sitting room, remove all the old flooring and clean up after themselves in less than three hours.  It would have taken me that long just to figure out how to pull the floor up and where to stack it once I had it up.  I won’t even go into how long putting the padding and rug down would have taken.  Understand, I am fairly competent at much of the work that needs to be done around a house, but I know my limitations.  Carpeting is one of them.  I can lay the carpeting, but then will have to spend the next couple months trying to get all the small ripples out of it.

We continue to pack things up and are always taking boxes of stuff to the house when we go there.  The biggest problem is that we are trying to live in the old house and move as much as we can to the new house, at the same time.  This becomes a real adventure.  The other evening, I came into the room where we keep our computer.  I went to switch on the lamp that I usually use so I can see where I am going and found that the lovely Elaine had already removed it and wrapped it in bubble wrap for the journey to the new place.  Most of our dishes and glasses have been boxed and moved so we are using paper plates and plastic cups.  I think it is only a matter of time before she packs those up, too.

Last week, we had a real adventure.  There were a number of items that we wanted to move.  Some of them were going to my son’s house and some were going to ours.  A friend of ours had a large trailer and offered to let us load it up and take the items down.  One of the things we wanted to give to my son was a computer desk we had.  It was one of those build-it-yourself things.  It was rather large and heavy so I endeavored to dismantle it to make it easier to handle.  Taking it apart was somewhat difficult, but not impossible.  We were able to get it down to five or six pieces and they were easy to carry and fit well in the trailer.  The problem came when I tried to rebuild the desk at my son’s house.

I had all the pieces in the room and a good idea of how it was supposed to go back together.  I did some of the preliminary work and then got ready to place the desk top on the lower section.  My son came in to assist me.  We lifted it up, got it positioned properly and then jumped back out of the way as the whole thing collapsed.  Apparently, this type of furniture is not meant to be taken apart and rebuilt.  So, the other day, I stopped by his house on my way home, loaded all the pieces into my car, brought the stuff back home and it was all taken by the garbage man on bulk pick-up day.

Just more proof that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue.

I am going to cut this a little short this week.  As I mentioned, our computer desk was taken by the garbage men and I am currently working with the keyboard on a snack table.  This is rough on my back and awkward because it is hard to see the computer screen when it is three feet away and sitting on top of a two drawer file cabinet.

This week our fact tells us that on average, the Pentagon uses 666 rolls of toilet paper in one day.  I guess they are not really as full as we thought they were.

Have a happy Umhlanga Day!

It is Sunday, August 16 and there are only 131 days until Christmas and still no Christmas music.  Today we remember the birthdays of Amos Alonzo Stagg, Frank Gifford and Eydie Gorme.  On this day in 1743, the earliest boxing code of rules were formulated in England, in 1863 the Emancipation Proclamation was signed and in 1954 Sports Illustrated published its first issue.  In Cyprus it is Independence Day, in Liechtenstein it is Prince Franz-Josef II Day and in Vermont it is Bennington Battle Day.

While we have not officially moved to our new abode yet, we have been spending a considerable amount of time there.  This past week, we have had a crew of painters in.  We wanted to give the place a new look, but did not want to have to do the work ourselves.  At this point in our lives we are not really in the mood to take on that chore.  These guys, a crew of three, came in and did the whole place in five days.  To appreciate what was done, you need to know that they fixed all the nail pops, patched all the cracks, painted all the rooms, the ceilings, doors and trim.  They removed all  the switch and outlet plates, pulled the blinds, removed the HVAC vents and then replaced everything after they painted.  Each room was given two coats.  The two bathrooms had stripes painted in them that required sanding to smooth the lines out.  They had us go around and use blue tape to mark spots that needed touch up.  I wanted to put a few pieces up on the 12 foot high white ceiling, but the lovely Elaine just gave me the look.

We estimated that if we had to do this work we would still be working on it when my birthday came around in November.  These guys came in did the prep work and painted the rooms.  First they did all the patching and then they sanded and vacuumed the dust.  Next, one guy did the ceilings while another guy started cutting in around the edges.  They did amazing work.  My only problem was their music.  Not the type of stuff they played.  A lot of it was music we like, too.  The problem was that they liked to sing along.  To put this as simply as possible, they absolutely cannot sing!  There were times when I thought maybe one of them had his own music on and he was listening to it with earplugs.  Nope!  They just cannot sing.  Unfortunately, they cannot sing with great gusto.

They reminded me of two people that went to the church I used to go to.  These people loved the music we did and participated with great zeal.  The problem was that they had absolutely no musical ability whatsoever.  The rest of the people in church made sure that they sat nowhere near either of these two.  I complemented their fervor, but cringed when they got going.  They knew they couldn’t sing, but didn’t care.  I suppose you have to admire their desire to be part of the service, even if it seemed like the service they were involved in was at a different church.  But I digress …

As I was saying, the painters sang along when they knew a song.  Sometimes they only sang what appeared to be their favorite parts, sometimes all of the song.  All the time it was not good.  One day, the lovely Elaine was down there by herself because I was going through the travesty of dealing with the Code Enforcement people trying to get our CO.  I will not regale you with the issues that I had with them right now.  First of all because I need to calm down so that my language is not too offensive and secondly because they have not yet issued the CO and I do not want to take even the slightest chance that I might say something that would somehow get back to them and jeopardize the process.  I know, I am digressing again.

Anyway, the lovely Elaine was there and she complained that they spent most of the day listening to a soccer game.  I pointed out that she was lucky – they could have been singing.

An interesting thing that I have noticed since we have been down there is that we are, comparatively speaking, the young people in the area.  There are several 55+ communities and all of them use the same stores.  I find that when I go to the grocery store, most of the people are our age or older.  Keep in mind that I am not a great judge of ages, but if some of the people I have seen are younger than me, they have had a very hard life.  There is a Dunkin’ Donuts near us right across from the super market.   I usually have to run for more cleaning supplies in the afternoon, so I stop at Dunkin’ on the way back.  Apparently, this is the local hangout for the men in the area.  The place is always busy and there are always groups of men sitting around, drinking coffee and talking.  I used to manage a Dunkin’ and never saw it as a hangout.  Maybe we were doing something wrong.

Nearby, there is also a Starbucks, but that is where the younger people go to hang out.  That place is also busy, but the denizens of that establishment are much younger.  I have never understood the desire to hang out in coffee shops.  I want to go in, get my coffee and go.  There are people that stay so long that the staff comes out every so often to dust them and nudge them to be sure they are breathing.  I guess free wi-fi has something to do with it.  That is not the issue at Dunkin’ because most of those guys think wi-fi is some kind of fancy hi-fi system that plays those little records.

This week our fact tells us that on average, an American adult male will get a haircut every 37 days.  That means I trim my finger nails every 18.5 days.   

Please feel free to share this site with friends.  My income for the ads has already risen past $3.  I hope this will not affect my social security.  Have a good week and thanks for stopping by.

It is Sunday, August 9 and there are only 84 days until we fall back.  That gives us that many more days to try and figure out why we spring forward in the first place.  Today we remember the birthdays of Amedeo Avogardro, Betty Boop, and Whitney Houston.  On this day in 1638 Jonas Bronck of Holland became the first European settler in the Bronx, in 1831 there was the first US steam engine train run, Albany to Schenectady, NY and in 1930 Betty Boop debuted in Max Fleischer’s animated cartoon “Dizzy Dishes.”  In Japan it is Nagasaki Memorial Day, in Singapore it is National Day and in Rhode Island it is Victory Day.

I’m afraid I don’t have much to talk about this week.  The lovely Elaine and I have spent every day at the new house cleaning and scrubbing and rubbing and wiping.  I mentioned last week that the former owners were somewhat casual about housekeeping.  As we get more into the cleaning, I am finding that casual was far too generous a term.  Unfortunately, there is nothing amusing or interesting about drudgery, so I do not want to bore you.

We did take a day off.  We decided to go down the shore for an afternoon of sitting on the beach.  Because I am now a senior citizen, I applied for my card and can now enter state parks without having to pay for parking.  We drove to a nice shore park and spent several hours sitting on the beach.  After that we went on the boardwalk.  The lovely Elaine was “jonesing” for a steak sandwich so we went to her favorite place and got dinner.  One of the things I enjoy about being on the boardwalk is that we usually indulge ourselves and have treats that we normally would not have.

After steak sandwiches and Kohr’s ice cream, we walked a little more and did some people watching.  Let me tell you, that is the place to watch people.  You see all kinds of people – Walmartian-type, young, old, tattooed, pierced, well-dressed, not so well dressed, some who obviously have no mirror or are color blind, some who obviously spent several hours getting ready to go on the boards and some who just don’t care how they look.  They all have one thing in common – they are there for the food, the games and to have fun.

Having said that, I still feel I should point out that just because you can force size 6 clothing onto a size 14 body, doesn’t mean that you should.  I saw one woman who looked like she was trying to wear her daughter’s clothing.  Unfortunately, the daughter was only 10 years old and about 200 pounds lighter.  Just the thought of what she looked like will keep me up late tonight.  I also feel that once you cross the 30’s threshold, you should start wearing your baseball cap the right way.  After that you just look like you think you are younger than you are.  Personally, I think it should be pointed out that the purpose of the bill on the cap is to protect the face from the sun, not the back of your neck.  But that’s just me.

I am not sure I understand the idea behind getting your body covered with tattoos, either.  When I was young, a tattoo made a statement.  It represented something and it was usually only on the bicep or forearm.  Nowadays, they cover the whole arm, back, chest and neck.  I am sure there is meaning to what has been done, but when you are in your 50’s and older, things will begin to wrinkle, sag and droop and the meaning will not be as obvious.  As I said once before, today’s picture of your mom will be, ten years or so from now, a char-pei with mom’s hair-do.  My son once asked me why I didn’t have a tattoo.  I explained to him that I never got drunk enough.

As I said, not much to talk about this week.  I will try and get out more and have adventures, watch people, experience things and hopefully have more to talk about next week.

Our fact this week tells us that banging your head against a wall burns 150 calories an hour.  That means that, when I was working, I burned around 6000 calories a week.  Unfortunately they were all metaphorical.