It is Sunday, June 28 and there are only 87 days until Good Neighbor Day, so cut your grass and clean up the weeds.  Today we remember the birthdays of Peter Paul Rubens, Richard Rodgers and Mel Brooks. On this day in 1770 Quakers opened a school for blacks in Philadelphia,in 1820 the tomato was proven to be non-poisonous and in 1971 Filmore East closed.  In Malta it is Mnarja Day and in Iowa it is Independence Sunday.

I was in our local grocery store recently and wanted to get some cold cuts.  They have a section that has some of the standards pre-cut so you don?t have to take a number and wait in line.  I was looking for ham and knew they would have it in the pre-cut section. I went over, picked up the ham and read the label to be sure I had what I was looking for.  The label told me that I had selected "Store-sliced Domestic Ham."  I wondered where else it would have been sliced.  Maybe at the bowling alley across the street or at the motorcycle store down the block.  Why did they feel it was necessary to tell me where it was sliced?  Were they afraid I wouldn't buy it if I wasn't told?

My bigger issue with them is not so much where it was sliced as how it was sliced.  The store has a machine that allows you to order your cold cuts when you first come in.  You select what you want, how much you want and how you want it sliced.  The "how you want it sliced" is where I have an issue.  There are no standards and the thickness is determined by who is preparing the order. The choices are thick, regular (?), thin and very thin.

I usually choose thin. What I actually get is a crap shoot. Occasionally, I get it the way I want it.  Sometimes I get what I would suppose is regular because it is slightly thicker than I want.  Sometimes it is so thin that I can see through it.  Once it was so thick that I ordered a half pound and got six slices. I could tell by the feel that this was wrong and had it re-done.  One time, as I was picking up my order from the case, one of the deli workers came over and proudly told me that he had done my order.  I looked at his name tag and said, "Good. At least now I know who to blame if it is wrong."  He disappeared quickly.

The other evening, the lovely Elaine and I were watching TV and I did something I don't usually do. I listened to a commercial.  It was for the medication of the week.  You know what I mean.  Just about every week there is a new medication for some ailment or another.  Sometimes I think they create a condition just so they can push another drug on the unsuspecting public ... but I digress.

As I listened to the commercial, they started to go into the side effects.  I often wonder how most of these drugs get on the market.  It takes them longer to list all the problems than it takes to tell you what the drug is for.  Why is it that almost every drug requires that you be tested for tuberculosis? Another question is why do almost all drugs make you have suicidal thoughts?  How is this reaction a good one when you take the pill to battle depression?  And, do I really want to take a drug for arthritis that can cause cancer?  When my son was younger, he had a congestion issue and the doctor prescribed a medication for him.  One of the side effects was that it could cause nasal congestion. I?m sorry, what was that?  But I am digressing again.

The specific commercial I listened to said that the drug should not be given to children under six and was not recommended for children ages six to 17.  Wouldn't it have been easier to just say that children under 17 should not take it?  Is it me or do others hear this stuff and wonder the same things?  That was rhetorical so don?t worry about getting back to me on it.

As a result of listening to that commercial, I started listening to others.  There is a tea that claims that their drink is made from tea that is mountain grown.  My issue with this is how do we prove it?  Maybe they have a field of plants in the mountains that they show to people who ask and the rest of the tea is grown in climate-controlled sheds in the desert somewhere.  In any event, would most consumers be able to tell the difference?  Probably not, but they will buy the beverage simply because they are told it is better having been mountain grown.

I find some commercials interesting because they claim their product is better than their competitors, naturally.  Then you see the competitor's commercial and they claim their product is the best for the same reasons.  There are always demonstrations that show the advertising product to its best advantage while showing the competition as totally ineffective.  Then you flip to the competitor and they show the same comparison, only this time their product wins.

I think the lovely Elaine has the best solution.  Buy what you think will do the job you want done.  If it doesn't, return it!  Her attitude is that if your product doesn't deliver as advertised, then take it back and give me my money back.  I usually make the returns because I have more fun with it.  The person doing the job asks why I am returning it and I tell them, "Because my wife told me to."  Or I say, "Because I thought it was a better idea than she did."  That type of response usually cuts down on the chit chat and makes the process go much quicker.

This week our fact tells us that lightning strikes the earth6000 times per minute.  6000 times per minute!  And there are still people walking around that I have wished would get struck and haven?t.  You would think the odds would be more in my favor.Have a good week and watch out for lightning.

It is Sunday, June 21 and there are only 187 days until Christmas.  Start shopping now, but leave yourself notes so that you remember what you bought, who you bought it for and where you hid it.  Today we remember the birthdays of Martha Washington, John- Paul Sartre and Prince William of Wales.  On this day in 1607 the first Protestant Episcopal parish in America was established, in Jamestown, in 1893 the first Ferris wheel premiered at Chicago’s Columbian Exposition and in 1989 the Supreme Court ruled that it is okay to burn the US flag as a political expression.  In Hong Kong and Taiwan it is the Dragon Boat Festival, it is Discovery Day in Newfoundland and Father’s Day in the US.

I don’t want to repeat too much information regarding Father’s Day, but I did want to give it some recognition.  Father's Day started in the early 20th century in the United States to celebrate fatherhood and to complement Mother's Day. It was first celebrated on June 19, 1910 in Spokane, Washington at the YMCA by Sonora Smart Dodd. She heard about Mother's Day in 1909 and told her pastor she thought fathers should have a similar holiday. Her father raised six children as a single parent. The local clergymen agreed with the idea and the first Father's Day sermon was given on June 19, 1910. 

Father's Day is a time to recognize fathers and father figures who have influenced a person's life. It is celebrated through cards, dining out, gifts such as electronic gadgets, sports attire, household tools or time spent together.  You can keep the sports attire, dining out and household tools, but I will gladly take one of each of the remaining ideas.  No pressure on my family, you understand.  Besides, by now I hope they have already shopped.  There are a couple tidbits for the Father’s Day file.

We were traveling to the house we are purchasing for the house inspection the other morning when we ran into a traffic delay that went on for at least six miles.  There had been an accident and we saw the two cars involved.  They were a mess.  I noticed two things of interest as a result of the accident.  As I said, the cars involved were both wrecked.  It was apparent that the accident was caused by speeding and careless driving.  However, once we got passed the scene, most of the cars took off at speeds far in excess of the limit, I guess to make up for the time lost sitting in the bumper-to-bumper traffic.  Apparently they did not learn anything from the two smashed cars and the ambulance at the scene.  It must be nice to be so oblivious.

The other thing I observed is that accidents draw state police cars like moths to a flame.  There had to be six or seven cruisers at the scene.  There was also a DOT Service truck on site.  The official cars all had their lights going and they were spread out all over the median.  The DOT truck was in the road with an arrow flashing to push the cars over one lane.  The two cars from the accident had already been loaded onto a flat bed and were off the road, so they were no longer an issue.  I can only surmise that the cars were being pushed over to keep the traffic moving slowly and to keep them from hitting all the police cars.

I wonder if anyone in charge realizes that if all these cars were on the road patrolling, there would be less chance of accidents like that happening.  Don’t misunderstand me.  I realize that people, generally, drive like idiots.  They are not paying attention to where they are going or what is ahead of them.  The new cars are designed so that drivers don’t have to pay attention.  They alert you if there is a car coming next to you, if there is something behind you and will even put on the brakes for you if there is a vehicle ahead of you that, for some reason, you did not notice.  This leaves you free to text, put on makeup, finish getting dressed, or any of the other chores you need to deal with.  Also, far too many people mistake cruise control for auto pilot.

Having said that, it still does not absolve the state police from doing their job.  I have noticed, recently, that our state has spent a considerable amount of money building several new State Police barracks.  Each of those facilities has a parking lot full of new cruisers and SUV’s.  Unfortunately, they did not allow enough money in the budget to hire people to drive those vehicles.  Either that or the people they hired do not know how to drive.  Too bad, but all the vehicles will look good in the publicity photos taken to announce the new facilities.

Recently my older grandson and I had a discussion regarding the English language.  He and I both agree that we do not know how people learn to speak English.  The chat was started when we walked by a restaurant that had a sign stating that Patio Dining was now available.  He saw the sign and said, “Look, pay-she-o dining is available.”  He went on to say that if r-a-t-i-o is pronounced ray-she-o then his pronunciation  of patio is correct; or, ratio should be pronounced rat- ee-o.  I agreed and we talked about a number of different problems with the language.  We discussed homonyms and felt that they were a problem.  I gave the example, “Two times are too many trips to a store.”  Someone learning the language would not be sure which to (two, too) to use. 

We also discussed how a word pronunciation changes when a letter is added.  I pointed out one of my favorites – laughter (laff-ter) becomes slaughter (slaw-ter) just by adding the “s” at the beginning.  Why?  It is difficult to learn a language with so many different rules.  Things like “i before e  except after c.”  What is that all about?  What makes the letter “c” so important that it changes the standard rule?  As I said to him, “You iether know the language or you don’t.  It is all two confusing for me too explain.” 

This week our fact tell us that laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system.  So how do you make a hormone?  Don’t pay her (ba-dum- bum).  Come on, laugh.  You know you want to.  It’s an oldie but a goodie and will lower the level of your stress hormones.

To all for which the greeting is appropriate – Happy Father’s Day!

It is Sunday, June 14 and there are only 150 days until my birthday.  It’s never too early to start shopping.  Today we remember the birthdays of Harriet Beecher Stowe, Burl Ives and Donald Trump.  On this day in 1642 the first compulsory education law in America was passed by Massachusetts, in 1881 the player piano was patented by John McTammany, Jr. in Cambridge, MA and in 1976 the “Gong Show” premiered on TV.  In Afghanistan it is Mother’s Day, in Massachusetts it is Children’s Day (my mother used to claim that every day was children’s day) and in the US it is Flag Day.

On June 14th, 1885, Bernard J. Cigrand, a 19 year old teacher at Stony Hill School in Waubeka, Wisconsin placed a 10 inch, 38- star flag in a bottle on his desk then assigned essays on the flag and its significance. This observance commemorated Congress’s adoption of the Stars and Stripes as the flag of the United States on June 14, 1777. This observance was also the beginning of Cigrand’s long years of fervent and devoted effort to bring about national recognition and observance of Flag Day. The crowning achievement of his life came at age fifty when President Wilson, on May 30, 1916, issued a proclamation calling for a nationwide observance of Flag Day. Then in 1949, President Truman signed an Act of Congress designating the 14th day of June every year as National Flag Day. On June 14th, 2004, the 108th U.S. Congress voted unanimously on H.R. 662 that Flag Day originated in Waubeka, Wisconsin.

Flag Day is a day for all Americans to celebrate and show respect for our flag, its designers and makers. Our flag is representative of our independence and our unity as a nation ... one nation, under God, indivisible.  Our flag has a proud and glorious history.  It was at the lead of every battle fought by Americans.  Many people have died protecting it.  It even stands proudly on the surface of the moon.  As Americans, we have every right to be proud of our culture, our nation, and our flag.  So raise the flag today and every day with pride!  

Thank you for your attention.  We now return you to our regularly scheduled program.  … but no one ever wants to follow those rules.  I am not sure why.  We recently had some major roadwork done on the main street at the top of our hill.  There were signs up for several days warning that the road would be closed.  If you drove along it you could see that they were getting ready to repave it.  A few days ago I was out for my daily walk.  Just before you reached the area where they were paving, there was a big sign in the middle of the road that stated ROAD CLOSED.  There was really no way to miss it.

So there I was walking along approaching a gaggle of police officers (is there an official term for several cops standing around together?) and they all turned to watch a car drive around the barricade and continue on toward them.  One of the officers flagged the car down and asked what part of road closed he did not understand.  “But I have to get over there to that street,” he said, pointing to a road in the middle of where all the equipment was working.

“Putting aside the fact that you drove around a barricade that said road closed, how do you expect to get to that street with all the equipment in the way?”  I had to keep on walking so I did not hear his response.  What I did hear was laughter from the gaggle and a minute or so later, I saw the car driving past me going the other way.  I assume he finally got to where he was going.

Not following rules has become a way of life.  There is a traffic law that states that you cannot cross a solid line.  The law does not say you can’t cross a solid line unless the car in front of you is not going fast enough and is annoying you in which case you can cross the line and speed ahead.  You see this kind of thing all the time.  I don’t usually read every single article in the paper every day so I must have missed the one that stated that it has been decided that all our laws are now just suggestions.  The laws are what we would like you to do, but do what works for you.  My father always said, “Let your conscience be your guide.”  When I was young my conscience had some problems, but I at least tried to follow most of the rules. 
 
Most people seem to feel that rules and regulations are for the other people.  The sign on the store says no food or beverages, “But I just bought this coffee and I am not going to just throw it away.  I want to go shopping here so too bad for them.”  They walk in and do what they want.  The people in the store see them, but either don’t want to get into an argument; or don’t want to create a scene; or don’t care, so nothing is said.  I have always felt that if we have a rule or a law, then that rule or law should be enforced.  I know I have said this a number of times in the past, but I believe it – if the police enforced the traffic laws on a regular basis, we would be able to solve all the budget issues in the state in less than a year.  Except for the 55 speed limit.  Even I think that is ridiculous.

This week our fact tells us that Kemo Sabe means “soggy shrub” in Navajo.  So when Tonto calls the Lone Ranger that is he intimating something about the masked man?  Is that a euphemism for something?  Does the Lone Ranger need to be sitting in a bath tub (think about it)?  Maybe that was why he wore the mask.  Poor soggy shrub.

It is Sunday, June 7 and there are only 146 days until Halloween.  It is never too early to start planning your costume and watching for the candy bargains.  Today we remember the birthdays of Pope Gregory XIII, Peter Rodino and Mark Wahlberg.  On this day in 1776 Richard Lee (VA) moved the Declaration of Independence in the Continental Congress, in 1864 Abraham Lincoln was renominated for President by the Republican Party and in 1970 The Who’s “Tommy” was performed at NY’s Lincoln Center.  In Chad it is National Day and in Massachusetts it is Teachers’ Day.

 We had the opportunity to go to New York City with friends the other day.  Our friend Paul was here from Iowa and had brought a friend with him who has seen and experienced very little of the world.  They were here last fall and it was the first time the friend had flown.  Paul said he wasn’t much better this time, but hopes he will improve over time.  Among the things we did last fall were a trip to the Empire State Building and a ride down the shore for his first ever view of an ocean.  This time around Paul was taking him to Washington, DC.  Two things that he wanted to do in New York City were going to the Freedom Tower and taking a carriage ride in Central Park.

The lovely Elaine and I agreed to go with them on their sojourn to the city.  I should point out that Elaine and I have lived our entire lives in New Jersey, more specifically in sight of the Empire State Building.  We have been to New York City many times and I worked within walking distance of the Empire State Building at one time.  Until last fall, when Paul talked us into going with them, we had never been in the building, had never really thought about going there and really had no reason for not going.  So we went and it was great.

When we were invited to join them this time, we didn’t even hesitate, we decided to go.  The observation deck in the Freedom Tower, One World Observatory, just opened to the public on May 29.  It occupies the 100^th, 101^st and 102^nd floors of the Freedom Tower and was definitely worth the trip.  The view was incredible.  I loved the optimism of one young boy who told a friend, “Maybe we’ll be able to see California.”  My biggest problem was trying to divide my time between looking at the fantastic view and people watching.  What makes people watching better there is that, when you listen to them, you realize that there are people from all over the world that are crazy.

What I found interesting is the style of the clothing.  You went from people dressed for cocktail parties to people dressed in suits and dresses, to people dressed casually, to people dressed to go dumpster diving for additions to their wardrobe.  There are some things that apparently are universal.  I saw one family that had a young girl, who appeared to be 8 or 9 (keep in mind that I am not good at judging ages) and found everything exciting, they had a teenage son who could not have cared less about the whole thing and just wanted to be left alone so he could listen to his music and you had the parents who were determined that everyone get most out of the experience.  They looked just like so many other families.  The difference was that they were from Germany, I think, based on my somewhat limited knowledge of the language and what I was able to hear of their conversations.

You also had the family with the dad who really needed someone to help him get dressed.  You could see that he wore a shirt and shorts that he liked.  He believed that they went together because they both had blue in them.  The problem was that the shorts were a blue, green and white plaid while the shirt was a blue and red striped shirt.  The ensemble was completed by white ankle socks and brown shoes.  He was with people, but they were trying to not actually be seen with him. 

There was also the requisite gift shop where you could buy all sorts of paraphernalia adorned with the One World Observatory logo.   People were buying t-shirts, caps, coffee mugs, key chains, etc. like there was a prize for who could spend the most money in the shortest amount of time.  It will be interesting to hear the conversations a year or two from now when they sit and discuss what to do with all this stuff.  Afterall, they will need to make room for the stuff they bought on their most recent trip to the new casinos that are planned to sprout up all over our state.  The only up side to the current souvenirs, is that they generally do not include those wooden salt and pepper shakers you usually see at National Parks.

After leaving the tower, we journeyed to Central Park, where we took the carriage ride through a portion of the park.  It was an interesting ride.  Not one that we normally would have taken, but one that we did so that the neophyte could add that to his list of experiences.  The ride was nice, but I will not be adding it to my list of things to do again.  I never realized how rocky Central Park was.  I was also surprised by the number of people who were just laying out on the rocks napping.  I am not talking about vagrants, either.  I saw people who seemed to be normal, well dressed individuals who just wanted to lie on a rock.  Go figure.

We also took a quick run to St John the Divine.  I chose not to go in there, because parking was not available on the street and the closest parking facility was several blocks away.  It just did not seem worth paying $30 for a short visit to the church.  So the Lovely Elaine, Paul and Bret went in while I drove around .  I only had to make three large circles before they called to say they were done.  I picked them up and we were able to add sitting in rush hour traffic (it was just 6 PM) to Bret’s list of experiences.  I know taking a half hour to go three blocks will be high on his list of New York City memories.

This week our fact tells us that Johnny Appleseed planted apples so that people could use apple cider to make alcohol.  I knew there had to be a more useful reason that the altruistic belief that he simply wanted a lot of apple trees.  I think I will have a drink to salute his efforts.