Welcome back.  Today is Sunday, April 27 and there are only 242 days until Christmas.  I can smell the fruit cakes baking already, or are those the ones left over from past years rotting in their tins?  Birthday wishes go out to Herbert Spencer, Cuba Gooding and Sheena Easton.  On this day in 1509 Pope Julius II excommunicated the Italian state of Venice, in 1805 US Marines attacked the shores of Tripoli (I can hear you humming the song) and in 1989 Beijing students took over Tiananmen Square in China.  It is 2^nd Republic Day in Austria, Sierra Leone is celebrating Independence Day and tomorrow Alabama, Florida and Mississippi will observe Confederate Memorial Day.

I am going to rant about one of my favorite subjects today because there are a few things that have gotten me going lately.  One thing is that I think people who drive are becoming stupider and stupider.  Here is one example of what I am talking about.  I had to go to the grocery store the other day.  By way of explanation, the parking lot there has three driveways.  Two of them are two-way and one is for exit only.  The driveway is clearly labeled Exit Only when you are in the parking lot.  It has a solid line painted in the middle with one arrow pointing right and one pointing left.  When you approach it from the street there are signs that say “Do Not Enter” on both sides of the driveway.

So here is what I saw today.  Twice I saw cars coming in from the street, completely disregarding the Do Not Enter signs, and one time a car exiting was almost hit by the car coming in.  What made it better was that the car coming in from the street apparently did not care that he should not be coming in that way, in spite of the signs.  He swerved around the car and then flipped the exiting driver the social finger.  This was all as I was walking into the store.  When I came out, a car was exiting and was in the right lane.  One would assume that, based on the large, white arrow painted on the road that the car was heading right.  But one would be wrong.  The car was going left, much to the surprise of the car who pulled into the left turn lane and started to go at the same time.  Horns blared and fingers were exchanged.  

The problem that I see is that the people who were wrong did not have even the slightest clue that they were stupid.  The other problem is that people do not paying any attention to what is going on around them.  They simply do what they want to do.  I have seen people come to a corner to make a turn and then have to jam on the brakes because you had the temerity to be driving down the road, getting in their way.  The fact that they had a stop sign really didn’t factor into it, as far as they are concerned.

One of the more recent innovations at traffic lights are the sensors that know when cars are there so the light system knows when to use left turn arrows and when cars can go.  The problem is that, for some reason, people have decided not to pull up to stop lines.  They stop about a car length before it.  This means that the sensors don’t always know a car is there.  One example of this is on one of the main streets in town where there are sensors that let the system know if a car is waiting to make a left turn.  When there is a car there, the left turn arrow allows the car to turn before the oncoming traffic gets a green light.  I sat behind a car through two light cycles because the car had not pulled up far enough.  Horns beeping did not seem to faze the driver because he did not move.  Finally, he got tired of not being able to turn and started to move up, I guess planning to run the light on the next cycle.  Wonder of wonders, he got the arrow and was able to go.  I am sure that he had no idea that he was the reason he couldn’t go.

I see all types of nut jobs on the road.  There are the ones who drive along and then put on their brakes for no reason.  There are no cars in front of them, they are not speeding, they just feel the need to put on the brakes.  I have been driving along in the middle lane and seen a car coming up on my left.  The car passes me, drives a little further, pulls into the middle lane and then slows down to the point where I now have to pass it.  You have to wonder what was going through their head – “I have to speed up so that I can get by that car, pull over into the middle lane and then slow down.  I don’t want to pull in behind him even though there is plenty of room.  I have to make it necessary for him to pass me.”  Or there was no thought process at all and, gun to head, they could not tell you why they did that.

Think about it.  How often do you drive along and wonder what the hell the person ahead of you was thinking and why they did what they did?  I don’t know about you, but I just wish I could stop some of them and ask them.  “Excuse me sir, but you just cut in front of me so that you could get off at that exit that they have been telling you about for three miles.  Would you be so kind as to explain why you waited until 20 feet before the exit to get over from the far left lane?”  I have also been tempted, several times, to go to a car stopped at a red light and ask the driver if he was okay.  When he asks why I would tell him that based on the way he was driving I was afraid he was having a stroke.  If I ever do, I will let you know how it went.

Our fact this week tells us that a person standing on the observation deck of the Empire State Building at 5 PM on a clear day would be able to see, on average, 32 jets, 12 helicopters and 4 propeller planes within one minute.  That is assuming they are looking up and not trying to spot marks left on the building by King Kong.

Happy Easter!  Today is Sunday, April 20 and there are only 134 days until Labor Day, so it is not too soon to begin that back to school shopping.  Based on most town budgets, you are going to need everything from pencils to text books to computers, so start early and avoid the rush.  Today we remember the birthdays of Soewarsil Djojopoespito, Tito Puente and Luther Vandross.  On this day in 1770, Captain Cook arrived in New South Wales, in 1902 Marie and Pierre Curie isolated the radioactive element radium and in 1974 Paul McCartney released “Band on the Run.”  Tomorrow is Patriots Day in Massachusetts and Maine.    

   

This past week, the lovely Elaine had Spring Break and we took advantage of the opportunity to travel to Rehoboth Beach.  Our best friend Pat made the trip with us which made the adventure that much better.  One of the benefits of having Pat along was that there was someone to talk teacher talk to.  My wife finds that in most instances I do not completely understand what she is going on about when she talks work, so it is nice to have someone along who can speak that lingo with her.  An additional benefit to having a third person along is there is someone who has not experienced the things that we have, so we have someone to talk to about them. 

It is kind of difficult to get a conversation going when there are only two of us.  Since we are both present when one of our grandsons says or does something amusing, there is really no reason to talk about it.  “So last week when the kids were at our house, Nick said something very funny.”  “Yes, I know. I was there.”  “Oh, right.”  Then we drive for 50 or 60 miles with nothing to talk about.  When we are with Pat we can share those events with her and she can tell us about her adventures with her kids.  It is always nice to have someone new to tell stories to.

So we went to Pat’s, spent the night and got ready to start on our adventure the next morning.  We were thwarted, immediately, because we had planned to drive to Cape May, take the ferry over to Lewes, Delaware and drive into Rehoboth from there.  When we got up that morning, it was rainy and windy and not the type of weather conducive to a boat ride.  We opted to drive down.  It was okay.  The predictions for the next few days told us that we would be able to take the ferry back when we left.

When we arrived in Rehoboth Beach, it was cloudy, cool and threatening rain.  Being the stalwart individuals that we are, we were determined not to let that get in our way.  On the way in we stopped at one of the three outlet sections.  The lovely Elaine and Pat went and got their coupon booklets and we set out to take advantage of the many bargains that awaited us.  I managed to get a shirt in one store and they were unable to get anything.  Oh well, there were still two other sections.  All was not lost.

We headed on into Rehoboth Beach and checked into our hotel. We had time so we decided to go out and walk the main street.  By the time we got to the end of the street, down by the beach, the wind had picked up and it was starting to rain lightly.  We started up the other side of the street and the rain began to pick up.  We walked that first block, went into a couple stores and felt that our time would be better spent getting a good seat for the wine and cheese that the hotel puts out each evening.  When the spirits and comestibles were served, we were ensconced in a location that allowed us access without having to walk too far.  

We chatted, people watched and just enjoyed the time.  After the wine had been removed for the evening, we realized that it was getting late and decided to go to dinner.  We trudged through what seemed like a hurricane to one of our favorite restaurants, had a great dinner and then trudged back through the strengthening hurricane, arriving back at the hotel in time for some tea and coffee and the fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies they put out each night.

The next day, after a good breakfast, and after the lovely Elaine had her reflexology appointment, we went out to do some more shopping.  Once again, the ladies were greatly disappointed.  It was distressing not only because they could not find things that they were looking for, but also because they had great coupons that they could not use.  I hesitate to mention it, but I was able to find one or two things that I wanted (I don’t want it to sound like I am rubbing it in).

Here is a tidbit from the “No Clue What We Are Planning Department.”  Our second evening, we were in a restaurant, seated next to a lovely family – Mom, Dad, daughter and son – all blond and pleasant.  After overhearing their plans for the next day, we also discovered just how clueless they were.  The plan was for them to take the ferry “across the ocean to Cape May, New Jersey.”  They were going to take their bikes and bike into Cape May, walk around a bit and then bike to the Cape May Zoo.

It is obvious that they had not really researched this whole plan.  First of all, the city of Cape May is easily five to six miles from the ferry landing.  The zoo is the Cape May County Zoo and is about six miles from the city, if you travel on the parkway, which you cannot do on bicycles.  This means that, if they can find back roads to get them there they are going to be pedaling for quite some time.  They will also have to be aware of the ferry schedule so that they have time to get back to Cape May and then out to the ferry.  I am guessing that, if they even made the trip, they decided to pass on the zoo, at least.

This week our fact tells us that a pig sleeps on its right side.  I have to dispute that because I sleep on my back and according to the lovely Elaine, I should be sleeping on my right side.

It is Sunday, April 13.  There are 82 days until the 4^th of July, so now is a good time to slip across the river into PA and stock up on those illegal fireworks so that you can scare your neighbors in style.  Today is the birthday of Frank W Woolworth, Paul Sorvino and Kabaka of Buganda.  On this day in 1741, Dutch people protested the bad quality of bread, in 1863 the Hospital for Ruptured and Crippled in New York became the first orthopedic hospital and in 1965 the Beatles recorded “Help.”  Alabama and Oklahoma are celebrating Thomas Jefferson’s birthday, in Maryland it is John Hanson Day and in the US it is Huguenot Day.

I can see you all with that puzzled look on your face.  What is Huguenot Day?  It is a day that celebrates the Huguenots (thank you Captain Obvious).  But why?  I did some research and here is what I have discovered.  The Huguenots were French Protestants.  The Tide of Reformation reached France in the early 16^th century and the Huguenots were part of the religious fomentation of the times.  The religion was quickly embraced by members of the nobility, the intellectual elite and professionals in trades and medicine.

The Huguenot Church grew rapidly.  At its first synod in 1559, 15 churches were represented.  Over 2000 churches sent representatives to the synod in 1561.  Unfortunately, 90% of France was Roman Catholic and the Catholic Church was determined to remain the controlling power.  As a result, the Huguenots were subjected to outrageous persecutions.  There were clashes between Catholics and Huguenots, many erupting into bloodshed.  Civil wars followed the St Bartholomew’s Day massacre in 1572, when thousands of Huguenots were slaughtered by soldiers and organized mobs during a gathering in Paris for a wedding.

The Edict of Nantes was issued on April 13, 1598 (the tie-in, finally) and granted the Huguenots toleration and liberty to worship in their own way.  On October 18, 1685, the Edict was revoked and practice of the religion was forbidden.  Over 300,000 troops were hired to hunt down the “heretics” and confiscate their property.  

The Huguenots left France – over half a million of its best citizens.  Many of them came to the American colonies and settled along the east coast of North America.  They showed a preference for what are now the states of Massachusetts, New York, Pennsylvania, Virginia and South Carolina.  Just as France suffered a notable loss, the American colonies gained.  George Washington was the grandson of a Huguenot and Paul Revere was also related to a Huguenot, to name just two well-known people connected to that group.  Today, people of Huguenot origin are found in all parts of our country. So that is why we recognize Huguenot Day.  I hope that resolves your confusion.

Moving on, I spent the past few days toiling on my front lawn.  I dethatched it, raked it, seeded and fertilized it and have set the sprinkler on a timer to make sure it gets watered so the seed will grow.  The entire time I was doing this I kept wondering why.  As soon as the grass starts growing, I will have to cut it.  The edging will have to be done and I will have to deal with weeds and dandelions and all the other problems associated with keeping my lawn neat.  I could have left it alone and it would have been greenish and it would need cutting every once in a while, but not as often as it will now.  I could have just let the weeds grow and not worried about it, but no, I had to work to make it nice.  Why?  I really have no idea.  I suppose I want the front of the house to look good so people don’t drive by and shake their heads wondering what kind of uncaring slob lives here.

A number of years ago I went through the trouble of doing the lawn and making it look really good.  I paid a company to fertilize it and spray weed killer and bug control and the lawn looked great.  After a couple years, I decided not to spend the money on them, believing I could do it myself.  Turns out I couldn’t and the lawn turned to junk.  The following year I was able to get it looking good, again, only to have a grub infestation that killed it.  I worked to bring it back, but swore that if it ever happened again, I was going to just brick the whole thing over, like in Williamsburg.  I didn’t do it, but I should have.  After the past couple days, I am more convinced than ever that the bricks would look great out there.

It is after this kind of effort that I really start to realize that I can do all the things I used to do, but it takes me longer to get them done and longer to recover from the effort.  I take time to analyze what I am doing, what steps I think I can skip and how much effort will be needed to make the corrections needed from skipping those steps.  In the past, I have tried to take short cuts in an effort to get things done faster and easier.  Take this piece of advice from one who knows – do not try to skip.  It never works out the way you want it to and you end up doing more work than you avoided.

Recently you heard me complain about the phone calls I have been getting lately from people trying to sell all sorts of wonderful things.  My one complaint was the gap of time between my answering and their responding.  The other day I answered a call and then waited about five seconds for the person to respond.  The call went like this:

“Hello”

Five second gap and then, “Am I speaking …”

“Ooh, too late.  Goodbye.”  And I hung up.  I have decided that if these people are going to bother me, I am going to have some fun.  You should try it.  It can be very satisfying.

This week our fact tells us that a penguin only has sex twice a year.  I guess that is why they are always dressed up.  You want to be sure you are ready when the moment arrives.

Today is Sunday, April 6 and there are only 263 days until Christmas.  I have already started to get my Christmas CD’s ready.  Today we remember the birthdays of Friedrich Robert Volkmann, Merle Haggard and Johnny Dee.  On this day in 1722 Peter the Great ended the tax on men with beards, in 1866 the GAR (Grand Army of the Republic) was established and in 1954 the TV Dinner was first put on sale by Swanson & Sons.  It is Victory Day in Ethiopia, Van Riebeeck Day in South Africa and Chakri Day in Thailand.

Unfortunately, I do not have much to talk about this week.  The lovely Elaine was sick during the week and was generous enough to share it with me.  Normally, I start working on this on Thursday, getting the information together and deciding what to talk about.  It is now Saturday evening and I am just sitting down at the computer for the first time since Tuesday.

Sorry, I had to leave the room for a short time.  In any event, I really have very little to discuss this week.  I did not get out much and was too sick to pay attention to what was going on in the world.  I promise to do better next week.

This week, our fact tells us that a monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana.  I am not sure what bothers me more about this – the fact that they felt it was worth the time and money to take this to court or, that the monkey was convicted without having the opportunity to testify on his own behalf.  I wonder how Judge Judy would have handled this.