Today is Sunday, October 30 and there are only 56 days until Christmas.  I will be starting to play Christmas music soon!  Today we remember the birthdays of John Adams, Ezra Pound and Grace Slick.  On this day in 1270 the eighth and final crusade was launched, in 1888 the first ball point pen was patented and in 1953 Dr Albert Schweitzer and General George C Marshall won the Nobel Peace Prize.  Today is National Speak Up For Service Day and National Candy Corn Day here in the US.

Get those holiday trivia folders out.  No teasing this week.  National Speak Up For Service Day was established to recognize the importance of telling others about the need for young people to be actively involved in community service.  (Go ahead and read that sentence again, I’ll wait.  I didn’t quite follow it either.)  Too often, good deeds of service by young people go unnoticed by their communities.  This day gives recognition to the unnoticed and serves as a reminder that people should tell others about the contribution of young people to their communities.  Having read that explanatory paragraph about the day, I can see why this is one of the little-known holidays.

I had something happen last week that I never expected and it caught me completely off guard.  I was driving on the interstate and realized that I was going past everybody else on the road, including trucks!  What made this unusual was that I was doing the speed limit!  I checked several times, just to be sure.  I am not sure why this was happening.  It was a sunny day, so rain was not an issue.  It was a little windy, but not enough to really have any affect on vehicles.  It was both exhilarating and unnerving.  I enjoyed going past everyone, but couldn't help but wonder why they were all going slow.  I kept wondering if there was a warning sign of some kind that I missed.  When the time came to exit the highway, I was kind of sorry.  I was pretty sure that I would never experience that again.

As I am sure you are all aware, tomorrow is Halloween.  No I am not going to go into a whole big explanation of the day and how it came to be and what it represents.  I could, but I have used up my trivia quotient for this week.  Suffice it to say that it is a day that kids look forward to each year.  They dress up in costumes, walk the neighborhood and beg for candy.  How cool is that?  When I was a youngster, my friends and I would wait until around 8 in the evening to go out.  By then most of the younger kids had been and were home building new cavities.

We would go out and people would give us piles of stuff because they did not want to get stuck with it.  We usually carried a couple bags to make sure we got as much as we could.  I had one friend who decided that he did not want to carry everything the whole night, so after we did our neighborhood, he went by his house and left the first bag there.  What he didn’t know was that he put the paper bag in a puddle.  When we were done for the evening, he picked up his first bag and the bottom fell out and candy went everywhere.  We felt bad for him so we gave home all the stuff we didn’t want.  Anyway, it’s a great day and I hope you all have fun.  I have mentioned this before, but my costume is simple.  I am only wearing roller skates.  I am going as a pull toy.  Enjoy the day!

Recently I have been getting a text every couple days trying to sell me sun glasses.  That is not that big a deal, except that the text has been coming at 3:30 in the morning.  I let it go the first couple times because it was very early and I did not fell like doing much more than swearing briefly, rolling over and going back to sleep.  I finally decided it was time to react after it happened for the fourth time.  I was awakened at 4 AM by this company, again trying to sell sun glasses.  I sent a text response that said, “I would like you to stop sending these texts.  I do not want to buy your sun glasses, especially when you are trying to sell them to me at 4 in the @#&%ing morning (Idid not use symbols in the actual text).  Knock it off or I will report your company.”  In reality, I don’t know who I would report them to, but apparently they believed me because they have stopped bothering me.

I have started to despair again.  I have been watching the car commercials and realize that car manufacturers are making it easier for drivers to not have to be responsible.  What bothers me the most is that the commercials show people having a wonderful time driving along, not paying the slightest bit of attention to what is going on around them.  They drive along singing and laughing, secure in the knowledge that the car will let them know that they are drifting into oncoming traffic or about to drive into a truck or another car.

I realize that things happen sometimes that require an immediate reaction and having a car that can break for you is a good thing.  But when it happens simply because you are daydreaming, there is a problem and it is not with the car.  When I was a mechanic in the Air Force and a pilot would write up a problem that did not make sense we used to say that it was time to re-torque the nut holding the wheel.  I think it is time to re-torque some of the nuts holding car steering wheels.

We need to stop making it easier for people to let their minds wander when they are driving.  The worst example was a commercial I saw recently.  A woman was out driving on a dark road, at night and was about to make a left turn when the car automatically stopped because of a car coming from the opposite direction.  The announcer said how wonderful it was that the car could do that.  I am sorry, but if you are driving on a dark road at night and don’t see the headlights of a car coming the other way, you have a problem and should not be driving, regardless of what your car can do.

This week our fact tells us that Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words.  Wouldn't it be easier to simply say a person has a fear of long words?

Today is Sunday, October 23 and there are only 63 days until Christmas.  I already have “It’s A Wonderful Life” ready to go.  Today we remember the birthdays of Nicholas Appert, Rama V and “Weird Al” Yankovic.  On this day in 1876 the New Orleans Mint reopened as an assay office, in 1915 25,000 women marched in New York City demanding the right to vote and in 1973 Nixon agreed to turn over the White House tape recordings to Judge Sirica.  In Thailand it is Chulalongkorn Day, in Afghanistan it is Id-Qurban Day and in the US it is United States Day, National Boston Cream Pie Day and National Mother-in-Law Day.

I am sure that as soon as you saw that it was United States Day, you all reached for your holiday trivia folders.  Well, put them away.  I have been unable to find any information regarding United States Day.  The only reason I left it in the list was to get you all worked up about another relatively unknown day.  Sorry.  I can be like that sometimes.

I don’t have a lot to discuss this week.  My son was having work done at his house and someone needed to be there so the workers could get in and out.  I spent the week watching other people work.  That in itself can be rather tiring when you think about it.  You have to be there because the house is open and workers are going in and out.  You need to keep an eye on them and make sure they are doing the things they are supposed to be doing.

I tend not to trust people and follow them around to make sure they are working in the rooms they are supposed to be in.  My son was having some windows replaced and I wanted to be sure the workers did not go into the wrong rooms or open the door to the room where the cats had been sequestered.  Yes the guys doing the job should know what rooms they were working in, but you still need to make sure their understanding of what rooms is the same as the actual list of rooms.  We got through that without a problem, but it still required my vigilance.  You try being vigilant every day while other people are working and see just how wearing it can be.

So as I said I do not have much to discuss.  I am not going to complain about commercials again.  Let’s just say they are annoying, in my opinion stupid and just the price you pay for not paying for the premium channels.  I have looked at the offerings on some of the premium channels and I am not sure it is worth paying for them so I can watch “Home Alone” and other movies from last century.  At least with commercials you have time to go to the bathroom, get more snacks, etc.

I did have an interesting experience the other evening.  My younger grandson’s birthday was last month, but he did not have his “friends” party until Friday evening.  He wanted a Game Truck party and the truck was not available until then.  I had heard about Game Trucks, but had never seen one.  It is a very interesting set up.  It is actually a big trailer.  They back it into your driveway, assuming there is room.  Otherwise they can set up at the curb … but I digress.  They set the trailer up and then all the kids are brought out to the closed trailer.  They are told the rules and then the doors are opened.

One side of the trailer has two large panels that open so that you can see inside and there is an entry door.  Inside the trailer on one wall there are six wide screen TV’s and each TV has a game console connected to it.  One section of one wall has a vast assortment of games for kids to choose from.  They also have a number of hand held devices so that no one is left out.  The wall opposite the TV’s is filled with couches for the kids to sit on.  Also, the truck has an awning that they open and another TV comes up so that you can also sit outside on chairs that they provide and play games.  You have the Game Truck for 90 minutes and you just play whatever games you want.  The are multiple controllers so that you can play with other people and compete in the many sports games that are available.

It was a great idea and the kids had a ball.  I wonder if they do parties for adults?  How great would it be to have a Game Truck pull into your driveway and you and your friends grab your beers and drinks and go in and play games.  It would be like that one restaurant with the games went on the road.  I will have to check to see if they do adult parties.  I will let you know.

This week our fact tells us that according to law, no store is allowed to sell a toothbrush on the Sabbath in Providence, Rhode Island.  However, the same stores are allowed to sell toothpaste and mouthwash on Sundays.  That would be like going into a bar and getting a glass and snacks but nothing to drink.  Just another one of those things that makes you go h-m-m-m.

Today is Sunday,  October  16 and there are only 40 days until Black Friday, so get those shin guards and elbow pads cleaned up and ready to go.  Today we remember the birthdays of Noah Webster, Oscar Wilde and Paul Strand.  On this day in 1848 the first homeopathic medical college opened in Pennsylvania, in 1925 the Texas School Board prohibited the teaching of evolution and in 1984 Desmond Tutu, black Anglican Bishop, won the Nobel Peace Prize.  In Jamaica it is National Heroes Day, worldwide it is World Food Day and in the US it is National Liqueur Day and National Dictionary Day.

I am sure that, when you read that it was World Food Day you thought, “Damn, here comes the holiday trivia folder again.”  Since I hate to disappoint you, let me give some information on World Food Day (WFD).  WFD is celebrated around the world every year in honor of the date of the founding of the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations in 1945.  WFD was established at the organization’s General Conference in November 1979.  The day has adopted a different theme each year in order to highlight areas needed for action and to provide a common focus.  This year’s theme is – Climate Change: “Climate is changing.  Food and agriculture must too.”

That’s all for WFD.  I know you are all wondering why it took so long for World Food Day to be created.  So am I, but I have not been able to find an explanation for that.  I will let you know if I do.

I try very hard to not be political and it is difficult, sometimes, to stay above the fray, but I do.  I do not want my weekly diatribes to be tainted by politics.  Having said that, I saw a posting of a sign that I feel pretty much says it all.  The sign reads – Can we just admit that we may have taken this “Anyone can grow up to be president” thing just a bit too far?  I really think that says it all.

I want to revisit the ongoing issues women seem to be having with their bladders.  I continue to see the commercials for all the different products that women can use so they can safely laugh, cough, sneeze, be startled, etc.  I saw a commercial for a product recently that made me wonder.  In the commercial, a woman was lamenting the fact that some products were bulky and obvious.  She was telling us this as she was preparing to go out on a date.  She was getting dressed and was saying how pleased she was to have found a product she could wear and still get dressed up.  The commercial ends with her walking off saucily on the arm of her man.

My thoughts then continued on.  They go out for dinner, have a couple glasses of wine, get chummy and then their thoughts turn romantic.  He invites her back to his place. And one thing leads to another and now how does she explain her special garment to him?  If she says that it is because she has a slight bladder issue, does he now have to be concerned that she might wet his bed?  Or does she do like they used to do in the movies, where she goes into the bathroom and comes out wearing a bathrobe that fits her and was conveniently left in there for her to use.  I wonder if Victoria’s Secret is working on a new product line for this dilemma?

This past week I had an interesting experience.  I went mattress shopping.  We had a king sized bed and now that there is only me, I felt that a bed that size was a little more than I really needed, so I decided to get a replacement that was a little smaller.  I went to a chain store that specializes in mattresses.  The lovely Elaine and I had used this chain before and were satisfied with our purchase.  I was not really sure what type of mattress I was looking for, but was pretty sure that, whatever I decided I wanted, I would find it there.  People find this type of shopping to be a chore, but I feel that anytime I can spend most of my shopping time lying down, I am good.

In the past, I have always felt that the mattress I had did not do much to support me after the first year or so.  With that in mind, I started looking at the various memory foam mattresses.  There are a number of different types.  There are strictly foam, foam top with coil springs that are individually wrapped in foam, not wrapped in foam, tied together, doubled and on and on.  I was leaning toward the foam ones, but was having a hard time with a couple different things.  One issue was the price of the ones put out by the company best known for their memory foam products.

This company actually has one mattress that cost over $12,000!  I know, that’s what I said, too!  For that price it should make itself and come with someone who carries you to it at night.  Needless to say, I did not get that one.  I didn’t even look at it to see what made it worth that much.  I didn’t think it was worth looking at something I was not even going to consider.  The other problem was deciding what level of firmness I wanted.  There were several different levels of firmness that were another issue.  They had from very firm to firm but soft.  They had a middle level and then a soft level.  It was mind-boggling.  Anyway, after talking to the salesperson, she took me to a line of mattresses that she felt would do the job for me.  I got lucky.  I found one that I liked and it was on sale, in stock and came with a free blanket, pillows and a duvet cover.  I do not know what a duvet is or why I have to cover it, but I am ready when I figure that out.

This week our fact tells us that in Vermont it is illegal to paint landscapes in times of war.  I can’t help but wonder what happened to cause this.  I wish I could have been there when this was debated to hear the reasoning behind it.  “Put down that brush Mr Ross.  No more happy little trees.  Don’t you know there is a war going on?”

Drink up, look up a word and have a nice week.  And remember another thing I saw recently.  According to Josh Stern a human pyramid looks awfully much like a food chart to a cannibal.

Today is Sunday,  October  9 and there are only 33 days until my birthday (which means only 77 until Christmas) so there is still time to shop for both days.  Today we remember the birthdays of Miguel de Cervantes, Bruce Catton and John Lennon.  On this day in 1635 religious dissident Roger Williams was banished from the Massachusetts Bay Colony, in 1888 the public was admitted to the Washington Monument for the first time and in 1980 we saw the first consumer use of home banking by computer.  In Ecuador, Tanganyika and Uganda today is Independence Day, in Peru it is the Day of National Dignity and in the US it is National Leif Erikson Day and National Moldy Cheese Day.

Tomorrow is Columbus Day and normally I would discuss the man and his dream to travel to the Indies, but I have decided to go in a different direction (no offense Chris) and discuss National Leif Erikson Day.  This day honors Leif Erikson, the Norse explorer who brought the first Europeans known to have set foot in North America.  He left the European continent in 999 and set foot in America in 1000, some 492 years before Columbus.  I have not been able to find an explanation for his trip, but assume he was headed in this direction intentionally.  Based on the timing, one has to wonder why we give so much credit to Wrong-Way Columbus and so little to Erikson … but I digress.

In the year 1925, President Calvin Coolidge gave recognition to Erikson as the discoverer of America.  United States Representative John Blatnik from Duluth introduced a bill in 1963 to observe Leif Erikson Day nationwide.  On September 2, 1964 the United States Congress passed Joint Resolution 88-566 authorizing the President to proclaim the day as Leif Erikson Day and this has been done by presidents since Lyndon Johnson.

The day was chosen because it is the anniversary of the day that the ship Restauration arrived from Norway in 1825, starting organized immigration from Scandinavia to the US.  Now let us slam shut the drawer on useless holiday information once again.  It is amazing how often that drawer pops open, isn’t it?

One quick comment on the rushing of the seasons that I brought up last week.  There is a commercial out that actually plays Christmas music.  Come on!  We are just getting to Leif Erikson Day and we already have commercials with Christmas music.  The only thing that makes it tolerable is it is a song I like.

Moving on, I find myself drawn back to another topic that I seem to go on about – commercials.  Specifically the ones for medications.   By the way I may have lost track, but I think another medication has come out for psoriasis.  Are things that bad?  Should we be creating a ribbon for it?  Sorry digressing again.  I have written in the past about animated body parts in commercials.  The one that has gotten me recently is the one where a person has assumed the persona of the body part.  She wears a body suit, has an unattractive hairdo and talks to the woman who is suffering from the affliction.

Let me digress yet again and ask this question – are we to assume that since she is the only one with this annoying body part hanging around, that she is the only person in the area suffering from the affliction?  I think the whole thing would be more interesting if several other people in the office had their own body part following them around.  Anyway, here is what gets me.  Once the woman starts taking the medication, instead of the body part going away, the woman is now teaching it how to do clerical work.  Am I the only one who has a problem with this?  Is it really possible to teach my bowel how to file papers while I do something else?  There has got to be a better way to sell medication than by insulting our intelligence with the drivel they are coming up with.

Speaking of commercials, I was watching TV the other evening and one came on regarding hair loss.  I already had a beverage and I did not need to use the bathroom, so I spent the time analyzing the commercial.  I noticed some interesting differences between the before and after photos.  In the “before” pictures, the lighting is a bright, white light.  The person is shown with a dour expression and the women have no makeup.  The “after” picture shows them in a softer light, they are smiling, the women have makeup and, in one case, I would swear the woman had her nose done.  If your product is really good, show the people in the exact same settings and let us see what it can do.  If you have to make that many adjustments to make them look good, I have to wonder if your product really works.  Okay, I am finished with commercials for this week.

I think it is lucky for me that I am a senior citizen and that I wear either a cap, shirt or jacket that shows that I am a veteran.  If it were not for those two things, I would probably get punched often.  I was recently in a store and had one item to purchase.  As I was heading for the cashier, a young man came rushing up and pushed in line in front of me.  I, of course, felt I had to say something so I said, “O-o-oh.  Good job.  By pushing in front of me like that you saved yourself from having to stand in line an extra 30 seconds.”  He turned around and looked at me and my Vietnam Veteran shirt and decided not to react.  Unfortunately, I am not sure he got the sarcasm.

This week our fact tells us that 29% of us are virgins when we marry.  The rest of us were having a much better time and the women still wore white gowns on their wedding day.

Happy Leif Erickson Day!  And for the traditionalists, Happy Columbus Day (observed) tomorrow.

Today is Sunday,  October 2 and there are only 53 days until Thanksgiving, so you might want to get that turkey out and start thawing it.  Today we remember the birthdays of Mohandas K Gandhi, Spanky McFarland and Don McLean.  On this day in 1535 Jacques Cartier discovered Mount Royal, in 1935 the Hayden Planetarium opened and in 1967 Thurgood Marshall was sworn in as the first black Supreme Court Justice.  In Guinea it is Independence Day, in India it is Gandhi Jayanti and in the US it is National Fried Scallops Day and National Name Your Car Day (just please, PLEASE do not name it Brad).

What I would like to know is why doesn’t the food you receive in restaurants ever look as good as it does in commercials.  I am talking about fast food places mainly.  You see the commercial and the food they show you looks great.  The burger sits there looking juicy and delicious.  The ketchup shows just enough to let you know it is there, the cheese is melting and the bacon looks like an entire pound is piled in there.  You see the commercial and your mouth waters and you want to run right out and buy one.  Then you go to the actual restaurant and the only resemblance to what you saw on TV is that both restaurants have the same name.

The actual burger is not served on a nice puffy, shiny bun.  It is squashed down so that it is only about an inch high.  You have to dismantle the whole thing to see if you got what you ordered and to see if everything is there that should be.  The only way the ketchup shows is f they slopped it on the outside of the bun.  When you look for the bacon, you are lucky to find two actual slices.  I went to a place recently that didn’t even wrap the sandwich completely.  So the grease leaked out through the bag.  Fortunately, I put the bag on the center console which is plastic and easier to clean than the leather seat would have been.  When I got home I had to rebuild the burger and it looked nothing like the ones on TV.

I understand that they want the food to look great in commercials so that you will be enticed into going there.  I do think that they could make an effort in the place to at least make the food look edible.  On the flip side, I have seen commercials for restaurants where the food looks so bad that I would not even think about going there to eat.  And again I cannot help but wonder – doesn’t anyone review this stuff before they put it out?  I still cannot believe that these people are getting paid big money for this junk.  It is a shame this “don’t care too much” attitude didn’t exist when I was working.  It would have made things a lot easier for me.

Moving on, I had promised that I would get out and about so that I would have things to tell you about.  I had the opportunity to go to the mall recently and the fun started while I was still in the parking lot.  I was driving around looking for a place to park and thought I had spotted an opening.  Fortunately, I was going slow and paying attention.  As I got closer and prepared to pull into the space, I realized it was occupied by one of those little smart cars.  I moved on and found another space.  As I was walking to the mall, another car saw the same space and pulled in, driving right into the small car already there.

There are two things at play here.  One is that the smart car driver should not have pulled the car all the way into the space.  The driver should have realized that the car was shorter than the other cars and not pulled in as far, making it easier to see the car.  Obviously just because your car is smart doesn’t mean you have to be.  The other thing is that the other driver should have been paying attention and driving as if they were in a parking lot and not the Daytona Speedway.  I was able to see the car and not drive into it.  Why couldn’t she?  I am sure we know why, so I won’t bother going into it.

Once in the mall, I was able to get my coffee and wander around enjoying the sights.  At the risk of repeating myself, let me just say that I am amazed at what people think looks good when they go out in public.  There were people there wearing things that I would not wear when I am home alone.  I saw one couple that were obviously looking for Walmart.  People, when you are going out, give some thought to what you are putting on.  Just because you like the red, green, blue and yellow flowered blouse and you like the red and white checked pants doesn’t mean they should be worn together.  Yes, I saw that.  I also saw a woman who looked like she had been painting and working in her garden and then got in her car and went shopping.  At least brush some of the dirt off before going into Lord and Taylor.

I do want to commend one man that I saw in one of the stores as I was walking through the women’s section on my way to the men’s department.  A woman I am assuming was his wife came out of a changing room in an outfit and asked him how it looked.  You could tell by the way she said it that she was pleased with it.  I don’t know if he is always honest or he was just tired or what his reason was, but he told her that it looked terrible.  He said the color was not right for her and the outfit made her look big.  She looked at him for a couple seconds and went back into the room.  I would loved to have been able to hear the conversation on the way home.  I am always ready to learn new profanity.

I came across this week’s fact and when I read it I knew I had to use it.  I have nothing to add.

At Arkansas State University two people cannot hold hands while standing in a doorway unless they belong to a union.

Whaaaaaat?