Happy September 1!  There are only 115 days until Christmas.  In my opinion it is time to start playing Christmas music.  However, this is not an opinion shared by everyone.  Today is the birthday of Mari Gorman, Yvonne De Carlo and Gloria Estefan.  On this day in 1799 the Bank of Manhattan Company opened in New York City (the forerunner of Chase Manhattan), the first Pullman sleeping car went into service in 1859 and in 1976 the New Jersey Meadowlands racetrack opened.  It is National Day in Malaysia, in Mexico it is Presidential Message Day/Opening of Congress and in the US, Canada, Guam, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands tomorrow is Labor Day.

Labor Day is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers.  The first Labor Day was celebrated on Tuesday, September 5, 1882, in New York City, in accordance with the plans of the Central Labor Union.  The form that the observance should take was outlined in the first proposal of the holiday – a street parade to exhibit to the public “the strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations” of the community, followed by a festival for the recreation and amusement of the workers and their families.

The first governmental recognition came through municipal ordinances passed during 1885 and 1886.  The first state bill was introduced into the New York state legislature, but the first to become law was passed by Oregon on February 21, 1887.  On June 28, 1894, congress passed an act making the first Monday in September the legal holiday.

Just as a side note, Labor Day is not the end of summer.  The official end of summer is on September 22 this year.  This is the Autumnal Equinox, when day and night are each about 12 hours long.

We have just returned from our latest trip to visit our friend Pat, down the shore.  Fortunately for Pat and the lovely Elaine, there is no end to the trials and tribulations that plague the world of academe, so they had plenty to talk about.  It is a shame that no one in state government has discovered these two.  They would not only fix the system, but save us a great deal of money in the process.  The down side, based on what I have heard, is that there are a number of people who would be out of work.  Ah well …

One group that will suffer now that school is back in session will be the wine industry.  We have spent the past couple months doing our best to keep things going, but with Elaine going back to work, our trips will be somewhat curtailed.  We will do our best whenever we get the chance, but the wine people will just have to learn not to put all their grapes in our basket.  We are only three people.  How much do they expect us to do?

If you have ever seen the program Restaurant Impossible on the food network, you know that it is about helping restaurants that are failing get back on their feet.  We had an experience with an establishment that could soon be in that predicament during our trip to Pat’s. We were looking for a place to purchase a pizza.  It was around 7:45 in the evening.  One place that we thought about was rather expensive so we decided to keep looking.  I suggested a place that we had driven by several times.  Pat said she was not sure we would be able to get a pizza there because she had called them once before and was told they don’t do take-out after 7 PM.  I know, I was incredulous, too.  Could I see a show of hands by those who have heard of this?  I thought so.  Robert Irvine would be all over that in an instant.

Anyway, Pat called and they accepted our order and told us that it could be picked up, wait for it, in 30 minutes or sooner.  What does that mean?  Tell me it will be ready in 15 minutes, which is the standard around here, or in 20 minutes and I can understand that and plan my travel time to get me there as it comes out of the oven.  But 30 minutes or sooner has got to be one of the most bass-ackward ways of telling me when my order will be ready.

So, I have estimated when I will leave and depart at the appropriate time.  I arrive at the establishment and become a little suspicious.  The place seems to be closed.  Most of the lights appear to be out and the staff is sweeping and mopping.  I try the door facing the parking lot and it is locked.  I go around to the other door and it is locked, also.  I go back to the car and call the lovely Elaine.  It is possible that I misunderstood and went to the wrong place.  

When I explained the problem, Pat called them and verified that the order had been placed and that they were open.  They said yes and as Pat hung up with them, one of the girls came to the door and unlocked it.  I went in, got my pizza (which I think was done in 15 minutes based on the temperature when I got it) and left.  As I was getting into the car, the girl was locking the door again.  The interesting part is that it was 8:10 PM and according to the sign they had by the register, they were open until 9 PM.  I suppose it was 9 o’clock somewhere, but not where we were.  So, Robert, if you ever get a call from this place, there are just a few reasons why they need help.

This week’s fact tells us that 4.5 pounds of sunlight strike the earth each day.  That explains my weight gain every summer – at least that is the story I am going with.

It isSunday, August 25 and there are only 95 days until Thanksgiving, so there is still time for the marshmallow/no marshmallow on the yams debate.  It is the birthday of Ivan IV (Ivan theTerrible), Leonard Bernstein and Margaret Murdock.  In 1609, Galileo demonstrated his first telescope to Venetian lawmakers, in 1916 the National Park Service was established in the Department of the Interior and Paraguay accepted its constitution in 1967.  It is Liberation Day in France, Constitution Day in (of all places) Paraguay and Independence Day in Uruguay.

One of the things I want to talk about today is dreams. I occasionally have dreams that are not only strange but very detailed.  I also remember them when I wake up.  One dream I had a few months ago was where I was working with all the people I used to work with at the credit union.  The difference was that we were all working at a Pizza Hut and the Pizza Hut was in a store that is, in real life, a Kohls.   That was why we needed so many people to work there.  The dream took place during an apparently typical day and we were busy.  The call center, where I worked, took all the orders and passed them on to the kitchen. We had a fleet of delivery cars and a very active dining room.  I wished I owned that franchise.

More recently, I had a dream that the guy who owns a local funeral home opened a catering hall that was connected to a cemetery. If you used his funeral home, he offered special packages for the cemetery plot and the repast.  The facility was also open to outsiders who just wanted to have a party.  In the dream, I was involved with running a birthday party for a group of 8 year-olds. The party had a Mickey Mouse theme and all the kids were running through the cemetery, wearing velvet Mickey Mouse ears and playing tag.  For those of you who are interested, yes, I got the look from the lovely Elaine when I told her about the dreams.  There isn’t any more to tell about them.  I just thought you might find them interesting.

Another issue I wanted to discuss is getting old. I know I have talked about this before, but it is an issue that keeps coming up.  For example, I find it harder to get out of a car and it takes longer to get everything working and to stand up straight now than it used to.  That is why I drive an SUV.  Getting in is easier because there are handles to grab hold of and a running board that acts as a step.  Getting out is simple because you can use gravity to get you out of the car. The only problem is stopping your descent when your feet hit the ground.  I have found that, with practice, I have been able to master that part.

One of the things that disturbs me is seeing people who are older than I am and what they are going through.  My father is in a nursing home and is slowly fading out. It bothers me on several levels to hear how he is failing.  He has reached a point where he does not want to eat.  He no longer recognizes us from pictures my brother shows him.  He does not even recognize himself.  My brother says that he generally cannot even complete a sentence when he speaks.  This is a man who was a chemical engineer for Exxon.  During WW II, he worked on the Manhattan project.  Now his only concern is that he gets strawberry ice cream once in a while.  During a recent visit, his big question for my brother was when is Halloween.  It bothers me to know that such a man has deteriorated to this point and that this is what we all have to look forward to.

My mother-in-law is in an assisted living facility. She complains that all she does is eat a meal, get her medications and then wait for the next meal.  One night after I brought her back from our house, we were going to her room and she said, “Now you know what you have to look forward to.”  I responded that at least there was something to look forward to. But I understand what she means. You live your life looking forward to the future and when you get there you find it isn’t all it is cracked up to be.

All I know is that the New York World’s Fair and the Jetsons promised me flying cars.  I have yet to see them.  I don’t know if flying cars will be all that great based on the way people drive lately. Maybe with all of them flying around, the rest of us will be safe inregular cars, on the ground.  But I digress …

My father always said that old age does not come alone. From what I can tell, he is right. It brings frailty, aches, pains, baldness, hair growing from places it shouldn’t be and wrinkles galore.  But as I have always said, old age beats the alternative.   I have always told my son that I wanted to grow very old and become a burden to my family. He told me he will just put me in a home and leave me there.  At least I will be a burden to someone so I will have achieved part of the goal.

This week’s fact tells us that 7-11 sells 10,000 pots of coffee an hour, every hour, every day.  That would explain the busy restrooms.

Today is Sunday, August 11 and there are only 136 days until Christmas.  It is not too early to start shopping and avoid the crush in November and December.  I can send you my list if you need it.  Today is the birthday of Lawrence Binyon, Herbert Hoover and Rhonda Fleming.  In 1790 Robert Gray’s Columbia completed the first American around-the-world voyage, Transatlantic cable was laid and former president Buchanan communicated over it to Queen Victoria in 1866 and in 1981 the Richard Nixon Museum in San Clemente closed.  It is Independence Day in Ecuador, Palio Del Golfo in Italy and Admission Day in Missouri.

We have just gotten back from two short trips, Iowa and down the shore.  We were in Iowa to visit our dear friends Paul and Randy.  We had a great time, ate quite well and saw some very interesting tourist type things.  They live in Burlington and one very interesting thing we noted was that there are a number of Mexican restaurants there and most of them are not chain restaurants.  When asked if there was a large Mexican population there, Paul said no.  I guess people in Burlington just like Mexican food.

The city is located on the Mississippi River and the lovely Elaine and I had the opportunity to sit and watch the river flow one afternoon.  We enjoyed watching the boats on the river and just sitting there, relaxing.  We are very good at relaxing and try to work on those skills whenever we get the chance.  We had the opportunity to sing at Randy’s church and enjoyed that a lot.  We ate well and often and I found the place where I want my coffin ordered from.  It will be beautiful, but I plan on making you wait a long time to see it, so don’t go getting all excited.

I want to say just a few words about air travel – it sucks.  I am amazed that in this day and age, you cannot fly directly to your destination.  There was a time when you could plan a trip and get your airline tickets for a direct flight to wherever you were going.  Now you have to plan your trip allowing for the fact that to get to a destination you have to go somewhere else, sometimes flying over the city you ultimately want to be in, switch planes (setting yourself up for the lost luggage scenario) and then fly to where you want to be.

For example, we were flying to Burlington Iowa.  To do so we had to fly to Chicago, switch planes, fly to Moline and then rent a car and drive to Burlington.  Originally, our flight to Chicago was scheduled to land giving us 45 minutes to get to our next flight.  We all know about the best laid plans – because of weather, the plane took a different route, leaving us 10 minutes to get to our next flight.  If you have ever been to O’Hare in Chicago, you know it is a large airport.  We took off running, if you can call what we did running (it was more like pathetic fast walking), to go from the gate we landed at to the one we needed to be at.  This was approximately 30 gates away and in another arm of the airport.  We got there in time, thankful that we made it without passing out and one minute later they posted the one hour delay of our flight.  It was good because it gave us the opportunity to breathe and recover from the shin splints we developed.

Going home was a little better.  The timing of the flights allowed for delays, although we were not too sure about making the connection in Chicago.  We got to the end of the taxi way in Moline and the pilot shut the engines down.  He announced that there was a ground stop due to weather and the anticipated delay was one hour.  It still gave us time to make the flight, but I was not real keen on sitting there in the plane while we waited.  Fortunately, the stop was lifted after 20 minutes and we were able to take off without any incidents.  I don’t know if I ever mentioned it, but I tend to be claustrophobic and impatient.  Not a great combination.

We got home and then the next day left to go down to Pat’s.  We had a great time there as always.  We continue to support the wine industry and Pat and the lovely Elaine continue to make inroads on solving education issues.  At one point we decided we were going to go to a small shopping area that, among other things, had a fantastic cupcake shop.  Elaine and I got into a discussion about where a particular brand of coffee that I was interested in was sold.  She claimed it was sold where we were going and I was positive it was in a different store.

When we got there she went where she said it was and I knew right away that I was incorrect.  She came and got me with that look on her face.  Married guys know the one I mean – that smug, I was right, come let me prove it look.  She takes me by the arm, leads me into the store and with a gesture reminiscent of the girls showing a prize on the Price Is Right indicates the coffee on the shelf.  My response was, “Oh look, they carry it here now, too.”  You know the look I got then.  Anyway, the reputation of the cupcake store was well deserved and we sat and ate our delicious treats while again working on our relaxing skills.

I preface this week’s fact with this warning – Please do not try this at home!  The fact tells us that 99% of people cannot lick their elbow.  I told you not to try it.  I hope you didn’t hurt your neck too much.

Let me start out by saying that this is being posted early because I will not be able to do it on the usual day.  So if you have not read last week’s post yet, you will have to go to the archive.  But by reading this now you will be ahead of the game for this week.  Anyway, I am writing this as if it is being done on Sunday, so please forgive any confusion this has caused you.  I know it had me for a minute there.

It is Sunday, August 4 and there are only 143 days until Christmas.  Time to start planning the menu and guest list for the big day.  It is the birthday of Knut Hamsun, Louis Armstrong and Dallas Green.  In 1693, on this day, Dom Perignon invented champagne; the plans for the city of Chicago were laid out in 1830 and in 1984 Prince’s album “Purple Rain” hit #1 and stayed there for 24 weeks.  In Norway it is the beginning of Peer Gynt Festival Days, in Italy it is the Joust of the Quintana and it is American Family Day in Arizona and Michigan.

This has been another one of those weeks that was unusual in that there was not much going on for me to rail at.  I find it interesting that every once in awhile, I can actually get through a week without something getting me going.  I know I am not mellowing out so either people are not as annoying toward the end of the month or I need to get out and around more.  I am going to guess that I need to get out more.  The lovely Elaine and I do get out, but it is usually with our grandsons or just running boring errands.  When I am with my grandsons, nothing bothers me.  I just enjoy being with them and I don’t pay much attention to anyone else.

We take care of them several days a week.  My daughter-in-law drops them off in the morning and we take them to her in the afternoon.  The days with the boys are always fun.  Sometimes they just want to sit around and sometimes we go play mini-golf or go on some other adventure.  Michael, the younger grandson, aka Pip, loves to play mini-golf, but he plays it as if it were hockey and the ball never actually stops until he gets it in the hole.  He doesn’t care about the score, he just likes playing.  The older grandson, Nick, tries to play the game properly.  Each time we go out, he gets better.  What bothers him and I most of all is that the lovely Elaine usually wins.  What makes that especially amazing is that I am the one keeping score.  I have always felt that it is a bad score keeper who can’t win at mini-golf, but there you have it. 

Near where my daughter-in-law Marianne works is a park and they like to run around while they wait for her.  Recently we had some time and Pip wanted to engage in one of his favorite pastimes, throwing rocks in the lake.  He wandered around picking up rocks and then came over, put the rocks down and started to throw them.  I looked at the pile and said, “That rock looks nice and flat.  Let me see if I can skim it.”  He gave me a look of anger and disbelief and said, “These are mine.  Get your own rocks.” 

 I could, I suppose, complain about the usual stuff like bad drivers, idiots in stores and things like that, but that becomes too repetitive.  I will work at having some new experiences so that I can be more interesting in the weeks to come.  I appreciate your reading each week and try to be as entertaining as possible.  I am sure next week will be better.

 

This week’s fact – 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.  I have never actually seen that being done, but would love to watch someone try to do it sometime.  I would like to see it just to see what they go through to get it done, but also to see what they do that causes the damage.  

Have a good week.