It is Sunday, August 31 and tomorrow is Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer.  For those of you who care, the actual end of summer is still 23 days away.  There are only 116 days until Christmas.  The lovely Elaine still says no to Christmas music.  What is the female version of Scrooge?  Today we remember the birthdays of A. Provost Idell, Buddy Hackett and Itzhak Perlman.  On this day in 1535 Pope Paul II deposed and excommunicated King Henry VIII, in 1842 the US Naval Observatory was authorized by an act of Congress and in 1954 the Census Bureau was established.  It is Pashtunistan Day in Afghanistan, Malaysia Day in, of all places, Malaysia and Trinidad and Tobago celebrate Independence Day.

Last week I was lamenting the fact that Starbucks had acquiesced to what I referred to as the “coffee weenies” and stopped serving their stronger blends.  The following day, I was in a different Starbucks and they were serving the weaker Pike Place, too.  BUT – they were also serving Komodo Dragon one of their strongest blends and also one of my favorites.  If I had known it was that simple, I would have complained long ago.  I suspect; however, that the particular store I was in last week is frequented by people who just cannot deal with stronger coffee.  Too bad, so sad.

The lovely Elaine and I are starting to look into moving closer to our kids now that she has retired and commuting is not an issue.  We are looking, ideally, for a ranch, but we are open to what is out there.  We are looking into 55 and over communities, but I am not hopeful.  Most of the places we have seen are several stories and I am not interested in having to climb flights of stairs anymore.  These houses were obviously not designed by anyone who is 55 or older.  If it were they would not have stairs, they would have escalators or elevators.

I am not too keen on living in these organized communities anyway.  My wife says that it would be nice because I would not have to cut grass or clear snow.  Currently those are part of my exercise program (I try not to overdo by exercising too often).  Besides, I like having the toys needed to do the mowing and snow blowing.  I just got a new snow blower and I am hoping for a property big enough to get a lawn tractor.  I was born to ride, not watch someone else do it for me.

One issue that I have with these communities is that they are generally run by a board.  These people are the ones who impose their feelings and ideas on everyone else.  There are places that will not let you fly an American flag, places that do not allow overnight guests and we have heard of one group that did not like someone’s purple curtains because they could be seen from the street.  I do not want to move into a community where I have to spend my time arguing with people about my decorating choices.  I wonder how accepting they would be of my American flag and my Vietnam Veteran flag.

We have also considered looking at condos and town houses, but I think we have already eliminated them from contention.  Most of the ones we have seen are three or four stories high and have way too many flights of stairs.  People have told us that we could get a town house and just close off the parts we do not want to use.  Why do I want to pay for and heat or cool a space that I am not going to use?  That would be like building a stable but not owning a horse.

Whatever we decide to do, I am sure we will go into the buying process with open eyes and minds.  I do not want to be like the people you see on the TV shows about buying houses.  You know the ones I mean.  The people who don’t like a house because the living room is a color they do not like.  I cannot believe that these people have never heard of paint.  If you don’t like the color, change it!  Many of these young people want a house that is move-in ready.  They do not want to have to do anything once they are in.  Are you kidding me?  Changing the colors or the floor coverings is what makes the house yours.  Are people that lazy, nowadays, that they cannot do some decorating? 

The one complaint that always gets me is when they complain that the master bedroom is too small.  There is room for a king sized bed, dresser, chest of drawers and a chair.  What more do you need?  What is it you are planning to do that requires more room than that?  Or they claim that they want to use the room for a retreat.  From who?  They are a couple.  Who are they hiding from that they need to retreat to their bedroom.  Wouldn’t it be easier to just ask the other people to go home? Others complain that there is no walk-in closet.  A-h-h-h, too bad.  Be glad you have a closet at all. 

I really think that these people should be required to take a Reality class before they start looking to buy a house.  Some of them are too dumb to be allowed to own a house.  They should be put in a special facility where someone comes by each day and slaps them on the back of the head until they say things like, “You know, we could paint that room if we don’t like the color” or “That master bedroom won’t hold a hot tub and a trampoline, but we can still fit our furniture in there, so I guess it will work.”  Maybe they should just be required to wait until they are sensible enough to own a house.  Of course, for some people, that means they will be living in an apartment or with parents for a long time.

This week our fact tells us that astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages it.  Go figure.  Either the suit is cheesier than we thought or astronauts have some powerful gas.  Maybe NASA should have someone analyze (don’t you just love a good play on words or at least this childish attempt at word humor) their dietary regimen.