It is now August 3, the beginning of the really hot, humid days of summer.  There are only 117 days until Black Friday, so get your tents, sleeping bags and MRE’s ready.  Today we remember the birthdays of Rupert Brooke, Hayden Carruth and Beverly Lee.  On this day in 1492, Columbus set sail from Palos , Spain for the Indies, in 1882 Congress passed the first law restricting immigration and in 1971 Paul McCartney announced the formation of his group Wings.  It is Arbor Day in New Zealand, Italy celebrates the Joust of the Quintana and it is American Family Day in Arizona and Michigan.

In the past, I have discussed certain phrases that do not make a whole lot of sense to me.  One such example was when I talked about the phrase “as cute as a button.”  Do we really think that it pleases a mother to be told her child is as cute as a round piece of plastic with four holes in it?  I know I would be less than thrilled to hear that.  This past week or so I have heard several phrases that made me wonder about their origin, so I did some investigating.

One phrase was “I would bet dollars to donuts …”  I wondered what person would take a bet like that.  “I will bet you my dozen Boston Cream donuts against your $500 that our governor will continue to disappoint us regarding pensions.”  Without getting too political, you can be sure that I would be $500 dollars richer.  But why would the other person put up cash against a dozen donuts?  Where did this phrase come from?  

The phrase appears to have originated in mid 19th century USA. The earliest citation for it is in the newspaper The Daily Nevada State Journal, February 1876:

“Whenever you hear any resident of a community attempting to decry the local paper... it's        dollars to doughnuts that such a person is either mad at the editor or is owing the office for subscription or advertising.”

It crops up in print again in a similar citation in a March edition of the Nevada State Journal, which suggests that the (unnamed) author of those pieces created the term himself.  I imagine that it made sense to the writer and the editor or it would not have been printed; however, it does not make a whole lot of sense to me or others I have discussed it with (specifically the lovely Elaine and my brother Jack in the midst of a Margarita night).

I saw a piece recently showing a woman sitting in a basket and she was saying, “Hey where am I going and why am I in this hand basket?”  This brought to minds a couple questions, 1- what exactly is a hand basket and 2-what does the phrase “going to hell in a hand basket actually mean?  A hand basket is, as the name would indicate, a basket that can be carried by hand (my thanks to Captain Obvious).

It isn't at all obvious why 'hand basket' was chosen as the preferred vehicle to convey people to hell. One theory on the origin of the phrase is that derives from the use of hand baskets in the guillotining method of capital punishment. If Hollywood films are to be believed, the decapitated heads were caught in baskets - the casualty presumably going straight to hell, without passing Go.

'Going to hell in a hand basket' seems to be just a colorful version of 'going to hell'. 'In a hand basket' is an alliterative intensifier which gives the expression a catchy ring.  There doesn't appear to be any particular significance to 'hand basket' apart from the alliteration - any other conveyance beginning with 'H' would have done just as well, for example hover craft or harpsichord.

I have often heard the phrase “Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle,” and wondered what that was all about.  Having seen the nephews and nieces of a couple of the people who have said that I am inclined not to disagree, but, in general, I was curious about this one, too.  The phrase is generally used to express complete surprise, amazement or disbelief.  It was originally a sarcastic remark made by non-believers of evolution.  The notion "that people were descended from apes was considered blasphemous...by Darwin's contemporaries", and it was for this reason that the sarcastic phrase came into use.  It’s use in America dates from after 1925, the date of the widely publicized Scopes Trial.

 Another phrase I have often wondered about is “sober as a judge.” It means not at all intoxicated, quite clear-headed, as in “even after three drinks he was sober as a judge.”  Why judges should be equated with sobriety is not known.  In fact having read some of the decisions made by judges, I question their sobriety.  Again I do not want to get political, but let me once again refer you to the pension issue.  That’s all I am going to say about that.  

One reference I saw regarding this phrase referred to the All You Can Drink Olympics where everyone was completely drunk, except for the judges who had to be sober enough to pick a drunken winner.  Overall, I am not sure that I necessarily want to be as sober as some of the judges I have read about, nor do I feel that judges should be held in such high esteem for their alleged sobriety.  I think the phrase should be “Sober enough to remain standing without assistance” and leave it at that.

So now I have given you more information about these inane phrases then I am sure you really wanted.  Unfortunately, when you are retired and have nothing else to do, you spend time pondering some very strange things.  Oh well, such is life in my 60’s.

This week our fact tells us that an adult grizzly bear can run at the same speed as a horse.  If you are going walking in the woods, you had better be able to also.