Today is Sunday, February 11 and there are only 284 days until Thanksgiving.  Time to start thawing the turkey so it will be ready to cook (and don’t forget to take out the bag of organs).  Today we remember the birthdays of Elizabeth of York, Thomas Edison and Jennifer Aniston.  This day in 660 BC is the traditional founding of Japan by Emperor Jimmu Tenno, in 1794 it was the first session of the US Senate open to the public and in 1993 Janet Reno was selected by President Clinton as US Attorney General.  In Bangladesh it is Shaheed Day, in Italy it is Giorno della Conciliazione Day and in the US it is National Inventors Day, National Peppermint Patty Day and National Make a Friend Day.

As you know, in just three days it will be Valentine’s Day.  I hope that everyone has done their shopping and gotten something nice for their Valentine.  Guys, remember what I have told you in the past – do not buy appliances or kitchen items for your lady, even if they say it will be okay.  If you do, plan on some long, lonely nights.  Ladies, you are safer.  If you buy a tool for your man, he will think you are wonderful.  In past years I have gone into the history of the day and have given a great deal of information.  Rather than bore you again, I would refer you to previous years.  

Recently, I was watching TV and actually paid attention to a car commercial.  They showed a car zooming along, negotiating curves at high speed and sliding sideways to a stop.  In small letters at the bottom it said, “Performed by a professional driver on a closed course.  Do not attempt.”  I started to watch other car commercials and realized that none of them were based on real life.  I mean, really, don’t show me how spectacular the car is and then tell me not to do what I just saw.

As I reflect on them, I have never seen a commercial that shows you how to sit on your leather seats after the car has spent several hours sitting in the summer sun while you are shopping in an air conditioned mall.  Most commercials do not deal with how well a car handles when you are driving and your kid is throwing up in the back seat.  It does not show you a car sitting in traffic, going 2 miles per hour, on your way down the shore.  They always show you drivers smiling and enjoying the ride, as they cruise along, with their well-behaved kids in the back seat.  The other thing that amazes me is that they always find a parking space when they get where they are going.

 Here is my idea of how a commercial should be.  A father is driving, ducking as the baby in the car seat behind him swings a stuffed animal at his head.  The mother, a harried look on her face, tries to convince the other two kids to shut up for just a little while.  The windows have dried ice cream and nose and finger prints smeared on them.  The father is complaining that they have been driving around looking for a parking space for two hours now and wondering if this is really a good idea.  The car keeps stopping automatically as people wander across the street without looking.  In small letters across the bottom of the screen it reads, “Performed by a family in danger of losing their sanity.  Try to avoid whenever possible.”  As the family starts to circle the block again, the voiceover says, “Vacation time is family time.  Enjoy the ride.”  You see the stuffed animal hit the father’s head and then watch as the car turns the corner, again.

We are only a couple days into the winter Olympics and I am already sick of them.  I find it hard to believe that there is so little going on that they have to fill time by telling me that Susie has wanted to skate since she was three and slipped on the sidewalk.  I am even less interested in how Igor got his start in the luge by using a board to get down the hill to school every day.  Show me events.  Show me people competing.  There are over 2,00 athletes who have worked hard to get to the Olympics.  I would rather see them involved in their sport and giving it their best effort, even if they don’t get a medal.  I don’t need to know about the lives of the athletes, especially if they are not from the US.  

I would be willing to bet that very few of them went thinking how nice it would be to let everyone know that they like to wear long underwear when they practice.  They went hoping to do their best and proud to represent their country on this international stage.  Show them doing that and shut up while they do it.  It isn’t really necessary to ramble on with useless information while the competition is going on.  As a skier goes down the hill at break-neck speed, don’t tell me how they prefer mashed potatoes when they are eating Sunday dinner with their family.

Okay, I am done venting.  I know this competition is going on for two more weeks and there will be a lot of times when things will annoy me, but I hope not to bore you with my rants.  I got my start in ranting when I was just six and found that I did not like …  sorry.  

This week our fact baffles me.  Whale hunting is strictly prohibited throughout the state of Oklahoma.  I was not aware that whale hunting had become such a problem out there.  Having looked at a map of the state, my only question would be, “Where, exactly, would one go to find a whale?”  I mean even if you can’t hunt them, it would be interesting to see one in Oklahoma.  Do they show up there because someone buys one when it is a baby thinking it looks so cute, but then as it grows they find it is difficult to take care of and they let it go in the wild?  Another time when some kind of explanation would be nice.