Today is Sunday, February 4 and there are only 280 days until my birthday, for those of you who may have missed it this past year.  Today we remember the birthdays of Tadeusz Kosciusko, Mark Hopkins and Chastity Bono.  On this day in 1789 the first electoral college chose Washington and Adams as President and Vice President, in 1849 the University of Wisconsin began in one room with 20 students and in 1972 Senator Strom Thurmond suggested that John Lennon be deported.  In Sri Lanka it is Independence Day, in Switzerland it is Homstrom, celebrating the end of winter, and in the US it is National Create a Vacuum Day and National Homemade Soup Day.

Well, here we are in February already.  It is hard to believe that January has gone by so quickly.  So here is what I can tell you about the month.  It is the second month of the year in the Julian and Gregorian calendars.  The Roman month Februarius was named after the Latin term februum, which means purification, via the purification ritual Februa held on February 15 (full moon) in the old lunar Roman calendar.  Historical names for February include the Old English terms Solmonath (mud month) and Kale-monath (named for cabbage).  In Finnish, the month is called helmikuu, meaning "month of the pearl"; when snow melts on tree branches, it forms droplets, and as these freeze again, they are like pearls of ice.

February birth flowers are the violet and the common primrose.  The birthstone is the amethyst, which symbolizes piety, humility, spiritual wisdom and sincerity.  The month is also American Heart Month, Black History Month and National Bird-Feeding Month.  That should give you more than enough to talk about at all those February parties you go to.

We finally got our Christmas tree down this past week.  The decorations have been removed and stored for several weeks, but we could not put the tree away because we were waiting for the storage bag we ordered.  The bag was originally ordered just after the holiday.  We received notification that it had been shipped and we were given a tracking number.  I checked and found that it been scanned into the major distribution center in Secaucus on January 14.  I thought that we would probably see it in a couple days.  Silly me!

A week later it still had not been received so I emailed the parcel delivery service and asked what the holdup was.  I pointed out that I could drive to Secaucus in less than an hour so I was not sure why it was taking so long to get it here.  They responded saying that the company that I bought it from would have to start the investigation as they restricted the delivery company from doing so.  I said that I thought that was ridiculous.  The package had been scanned in at their facility, so that meant that they had it in their possession, somewhere. 

I asked how it was possible that the company who sold it to me could prevent them from going into their own system to look for a package that they already had.  I then asked how the company would even know that they had looked.  I also expressed my dissatisfaction because now I would have to pay extra to have packages shipped by their competitor.  They stopped corresponding with me.  Go figure!

Now I had to go to the company and order another one as a replacement.  I told them what had occurred and requested the replacement.  I again got the tracking number and followed up, again showing that it was in transit, had been scanned into the Secaucus facility and I could expect delivery by Thursday.  It actually showed up on Thursday.  Barbara was tempted to get Valentine’s Day decorations for us to put on the tree.  I said I was glad it came so that I could get the tree put away before I had to start dusting it.  The last thing I need to do is watch my bills to make sure they do not charge me twice for it.

I have been wondering, lately, what it would be like if our electronic devices started having an attitude with us.  I use a GPS system in my car to go places I have never been to before.  I also use it for places I have been to because it will give me real-time traffic updates.  When I am first departing, it always wants me to go a certain way.  I sometimes go a different way because I have to stop for coffee or gas or just want to start out going my own way.  The GPS will keep trying to get me back on the route it has selected.  I am waiting for it to say something like, “Fine.  If you think you know better than I do, then just go whatever way you want,” or “Are you hard of hearing?  I said turn right.”  The device will also tell me if there is a traffic delay and offer me an alternative route that may be slightly faster.  I usually select to stay on the route I am on.  I keep expecting to hear, “I am trying to make your trip faster.  I can only help so much.  You have to work with me a little.”

We have one of those devices that can answer questions, work the thermostat, tell lousy jokes and play music.  Sometimes we ask for music and it responds, but doesn’t play music, so we request it again.  I almost expect to hear, “I heard you.  Give me a minute.”  Or I can hear my mother saying, “I wish you would respond as quickly as you want me to.”  When the day comes that these devices become that human, I am moving to the woods – with just my phone and my iPad, of course.

This week our fact tells us that Pinocchio is Italian for “Pine Eye.”  This reminds me of a joke.  One night a man with a wooden eye went to a dance.  Most of the women ignored him because of his eye.  Finally, he spotted a woman who was somewhat less than attractive and has a rather sizable nose.  He goes over and asks if she would like to dance.  She says, “Would I!  Would I!”  He gets angry and yells, “Oh yeah?  Well big nose, big nose!” and walks away.