Today is Sunday, July 24 and there are only 49 days until Grandparents Day so if we hurry, we can still commercialize it.  Today we remember the birthdays of Alexandre Dumas, Frederick Law Olmstead and Bella Abzug.  On this day in 1651 Anthony Johnson, a free black, received a grant of 250 acres in Virginia, in 1847 the rotary-type printing press was patented by Richard March Hoe and in 1965 Bob Dylan released “Like A Rolling Stone.”  In Denmark it is Midsummer Day, in Spain it is Valencia Fair Day-Battle of the Flowers and in the US it is National Tequila Day (yahoo) and National Drive-thru Day.

I have a few things to bring up today.  I have noticed that the latest trend seems to be not paying attention – to almost everything.  I see this all the time when driving.  I know I have brought this up before, but I feel it is part of a larger problem.  I have no idea what they are doing, but people seem to not have any idea of what is going on when they drive.  They don’t drive the speed limit, they don’t stay in their lane, they almost miss exits and then have to do what the lovely Elaine used to refer to as the Oh S- - t dance.  You know what I mean. They are flying along at 70 MPH in the outside lane and suddenly realize their exit is coming up in a quarter of a mile and they say Oh S- - t and start slowing down slightly while they try to get over to where they need to be.  One other word of advice – don’t play Pokemon Go when you are doing 65 mph on an interstate.

You see this everywhere, not just driving.  How many times have you been bumped by a shopping cart because the person pushing it is looking everywhere but where they are going?  One of the things I have always enjoyed when people watching is seeing the people who walk into other people, benches, doors or other relatively obvious things simply because they are looking at their phone or looking in store windows as they walk past them.  The only fortunate thing is that I have not yet witnessed a fatality.  I would hate to be stuck in the supermarket giving my eyewitness account to police regarding the mangled mess of a store clerk who was smashed between two carts being pushed by people who were looking for steel cut oats and not watching where they were going.  Heads up people!  Pay attention!

Another thing I have noticed lately is that bike riders are annoying.  Understand, I am not talking about motorcyclists with their big helmets and leather clothing.  I am talking about those people with the tight shorts and shirts covered with advertising, wearing those weird pointy helmets that never seem to sit on their heads right.  Most of the roads in the area where I live have bike lanes.  Granted they are not always as wide as they could be, but they are there nonetheless.  All I want to say to these riders is stay in the space allotted to you.

These people are always straying out of the lane for one reason or another.  Sometimes they decide that they want to ride next to the person they are biking with, so they end up riding out of the lane, on the road.  Then there are times when they seem to get bored with riding in the lane and just weave back and forth, in and out of the lane.  The ones that get me are the ones going up a hill.  Apparently, when you are putting out extra effort, you not only pedal harder, but you also rock back and forth so that there is a better chance that a passing car can clip your elbow or handlebars.  I would think that if you are dressed like that you would want to draw as little attention to yourself as possible.

Recently I was told that I had apparently pocket dialed someone with my phone.  Understand, I only took over the smart phone that had belonged to the lovely Elaine a couple months ago.  I am amazed that I can make a call when I am trying to, let alone do it while the phone is in my pocket.  What makes it more interesting is that I called the person on his house phone.  Usually, when I call him, I call his cell.  When he told me about it, I decided to analyze what went into making that call.  First, I had to swipe the screen to wake the phone up.  Next I would have to go into my contact list and select his entry.  Then I would have to make the call.  I was able to do all this with the phone in my pocket, without touching it!  Now I just need to train my pocket to make calls that I want to make when I want to make them.

A couple nights ago I went to one of those all you can eat buffets with my family.  Let me tell you, if you want to watch people at their worst, that is the place to go.  I saw people piling food on their plate like they were only going to get one shot at the tables.  There was one couple who came in and when the waitress asked what they wanted to drink, he said hot tea and she said a diet soda.  When the drinks were served, he asked for ice because the tea was hot.  She guzzled her drink, asked for a refill and then went off to load up a plate with enough food for herself and two others, but she was drinking diet soda, so I guess it balances out.  That’s like saying that the calories you consume on a holiday don’t count or … but I digress.

There was one woman who decided that it was easier to eat the shrimp right at the serving table rather than carry her plate to her table.  Someone finally explained to her that she couldn't do that.  She was quite annoyed, but loaded her plate and went to sit down.  There was another person who walked around eating from his plate while he added things to it.  It was like he felt it was impolite to have an empty space, but also felt compelled to be eating at all times.  I don’t know that he ever actually sat down.  That’s the nice thing about this type of place, you can get dinner and a show.

Quick question – if a man is walking in the woods and there is no woman there, is he still wrong?

This week our fact tells us that an infinity sign is called a lemniscate.  Why can’t we just call it an infinity sign?

Enjoy your week.  I am off to find a place with a drive-thru tequila window.