Today is Sunday, July 10 and there are only 174 days until New Year’s Eve.  Remember it is never too early to get your goofy 2017 glasses.  Today we remember the birthdays of John Calvin, Nikola Tesla and Owen Chamberlain.  On this day in 1890 Wyoming became the 44^th state, in 1919 President Wilson personally delivered the Treaty of Versailles to the Senate and in 1965 The Rolling Stones scored their first #1 hit, “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction.”  In Albania it is Army Day, it is Independence Day in the Bahamas and in the US it is National Pina Colada Day and National Clerihew Day.

Okay, a show of hands, how many of you know what a clerihew is?  Neither did I so, for your benefit, I looked it up.  A clerihew is a whimsical, four-line biographical poem.  The first line is the name of the poem’s subject, usually a famous person put in an absurd light.  The form was invented by and is named after Edmund Clerihew Bentley.  The first one was published in 1905.

A clerihew has the following properties:

                It is biographical and usually whimsical

                It has four lines of irregular length and metre

                The rhyme structure is AABB; the subject matter and wording are often humorously    contrived in order to achieve a rhyme, including the use of phrases in non-English languages

                The first line contains, and may consist solely of, the subjects name

Here is an example –        Sir Humphry Davy

                                          Abominated Gravy.

                                          He lived in the odium

                                          Of having discovered sodium.

Take a minute to enjoy the humor and whimsical nature.  Now you know why you have never heard of a clerihew.  But take some time to create one so you can dazzle your friends with it at the next barbecue.  Assuming you like getting that look that says you should cut back on the cocktails.

I have to say that I am seeing commercials for products that address something that I did not know was such an issue.  Maybe it became a cause célèbre while I was dealing with other more personal issues and I did not hear about it.  When did women start peeing when they laughed, coughed, sneezed and so on?  I know a bunch of women, but I never noticed that they had the problem.  I know that the lovely Elaine did not.  I would have known, too, because they way she laughed sometimes, everyone in the room would have noticed.  This can’t be something that has been going on for a long time, because they have only recently come out with products to deal with it.  That would mean that if this was a long-term problem, women have been walking around with wet underwear for quite some time.

This brings up my next few questions.  If this is not a new problem, what did women do about it before they came up with products to deal with it?  If it is a new problem, what is suddenly causing women to pee when they laugh?  I know people who laugh so hard that they cry, but I have never actually seen a person laugh until they pee.  I have heard people who were laughing hard say, “Stop. You’re going to make me wet myself,” but they never actually did.  So what is causing it?  Are people generally funnier nowadays?  Was this a problem back in the early 1900’s when people were being entertained by clerihews?  Why is this not a problem for men?  Do men have stronger bladder control, or do they not find things as funny?

Here is my take on this whole thing.  I think that the companies that make feminine hygiene products had a surplus of pads and the like.  I have no idea why they did, but that is what I think.  As a result they came up with this cockamamie (there’s a word you don’t hear much these days) scheme to convince women that they need these products because they have suddenly started peeing when they laugh, cough, sneeze, clear their throat, blow their nose, cheer at a sporting event and so on.  Do they really?  I think not.  I think they buy the products because earnest women in commercials tell them they should because it is such a relief to know that they were protected.

Why don’t men have the same problem?  Because they have not come up with a product that men could use to protect themselves.  Rest assured that they are working on creating something.  As soon as they have it we will be seeing commercials about men worrying about wet spots appearing on their pants when they laugh.

I’m back.  I thought that last bit was amusing and I chuckled.  To be safe I ran to the bathroom.  False alarm.  I hope they come up with something for men soon.  Aside from the fact that I find many things funny, I am getting older.  I am not ready for the full male diaper thing yet, but funny is funny.  (Pat, you can put your new favorite emoji here)

This week our fact tells us that grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.  Just to test this I put a couple in the microwave and nothing happened.  I then realized that just putting them in would not cause them to explode.  You actually had to start it.  Unless you enjoy cleaning exploded grape out of your microwave, I do not recommend this.  It is really not all that entertaining.

Go have a pina colada and enjoy the day.