Today is Sunday, May 29 and there are only 134 days until Columbus Day, so start planning that parade and try not to get lost getting there.  Today we remember the birthdays of Patrick Henry, Bob Hope and Melissa Ethridge.  On this day in 1765 Patrick Henry made his historic speech against the Stamp Tax,answering a cry of “Treason” with, “If this be treason, make the most of it!”, in 1848 Wisconsin became the 30th state and in 1982 the papal visit to Britain was the first since 1531.  In England it is Oak Apple Day, in Rhode Island it is Ratification Day, in the US it is National Coq Au Vin Day and tomorrow is Memorial Day.

In the past, I have given information on Memorial Day.  I will be brief this year as there is not much to say that has not been said before.  Memorial Day, an American holiday observed on the last Monday of May, honors men and women who died while serving in the US military.  Please note that this is a day that honors people who died serving their country.  This is a day that recognizes that ultimate sacrifice.  I am not saying that you should spend the day being morose.  What I am saying is recognize what the day represents.  If your town has a ceremony, attend and honor those people who gave their lives.  Do not greet people with, “Happy Memorial Day.”  I do not feel that is appropriate.  Happy and Memorial just don’t go together.  Try, “It’s Memorial Day.  Pause and remember.”

Okay, I have climbed down off my soapbox and caught my breath, so let’s move on.  First I would like to share a story about my younger grandson.  His father picked him up from school one day this past week and on the way home they were discussing his day.  He mentioned that they had some excitement in gym when a bird got into the room.  They talked about the incident for a minute or so and then my son, knowing his son’s propensity for doing this asked if he had named the bird.  He said he had and he had named it Finnegan.  My son asked why Finnegan and my grandson replied, “I think the question you should be asking is why not Finnegan?”  My son said he had no response for that.  I couldn’t think of one either.

A few evenings ago, I went to pull my car into the garage and found that I had a flat tire.  You are probably wondering what the big deal is.  You change the tire and that is it.  Except that, if you have been a dedicated reader of my weekly writings, you know it is never that simple with me.  My initial response was to just go ahead and change the tire.  I started to get the jack out and found the section in the car manual that told me how to get the spare tire out.  It was at this point, as I was getting the tools out, that I discovered the first problem.

My car has a special locking lug nut on each tire that requires a socket key to remove it.  I could not find that key.  I searched the entire storage area and it was nowhere to be found.  It occurred to me that several months ago I had an oil change done and had the tires rotated.  They had to have had the key to do that.  Great!  Well, I’ll just call my roadside service, they could come and take care of the tire and I would go to the oil change place and see if they had the key.  So I called the roadside service and told them I had a flat tire that needed to be changed.  The woman said it was not a problem and they could have someone there shortly to take care of it.

I then explained the issue with the missing key for the lug nut.  “Ooh.  That is a different story.  The service person won’t have the key for that.  We will have to have the car towed to a dealership and they should be able to take care of it.”  The problem was that they would have to take the car to a dealership and hope that there was a place to leave the car since the service area was closed.  She then suggested that, if it was not a problem, we wait and have it towed in the morning.  I said fine and asked what time I could schedule it for.  She told me she couldn’t schedule it and that I would have to call back in the morning.  I allowed a lovely series of profanity to run through my mind, but said okay to her.

After I hung up, I called my son because I needed to ride to his house to pick up the lovely Elaine’s car that we were keeping there.  The next morning I called to schedule the tow and was told it would be about an hour.  Fine!  Since I had the time I drove over to the oil change place and they said, “Oh yeah, we have that.  We weren’t sure who it belonged to so we hung on to it, figuring someone would come for it sooner or later.”  More profanity.

Now I had to call and cancel the tow, then schedule to have someone to come change the tire.  The guy showed up, took off the tire, put on the donut and was gone in no time.  I took the tire to a place to have it looked at.  They were able to repair it.  They took off the donut and put the tire on.  I saw the guy pull the car out and then I sat there waiting for them to tell me the car was ready.  After about 15 minutes, I asked if there was a problem.  The guy asked which car was mine and I told him.  He said he didn’t know I was there and that he called my house and left a message.  I said that it said right on the paperwork that I was waiting and asked why it never occurred to him to see if I was sitting there.  He had no answer.  More profanity.

When I got home, I had to put the donut back in place.  As I was doing it, I checked and found that the key had not been put back where it belonged.  I drove back to the tire place and sure enough it was still there.  The mechanic said, “You took off so fast, I didn’t get a chance to put it back.”  I took off so fast, after sitting there all that time.  More profanity.  See, just a simple flat tire.

This week our fact tells us that the male penguin sits on the egg instead of the female.  I can just picture it, the male sitting there in his underwear, watching TV and yelling to his wife, “Honey, bring me another beer.  I’d get it but I can’t get off this egg.”

One final tip – don’t try to barbecue the Coq Au Vin.

Have a good week and take a moment tomorrow to remember.