Today is Sunday June 22.  There are only 186 days until Christmas so start addressing your cards and writing those holiday letters.  This week we remember the natal anniversaries of George Vancouver, Giacomo Puccini and Meryl Streep.  On this day in 816 Stephen IV began his reign as Catholic Pope, in 1870 Congress created the Department of Justice and in 1977 Walt Disney’s “The Rescuers” was released.  It is School Teacher’s Day in El Salvador, Organic Act Day in the Virgin Islands and tomorrow is Discovery Day in Newfoundland.

The lovely Elaine and I traveled to Iowa recently and I have to say that flying has become quite an adventure.  We had an early flight and had to be at the airport by around five AM.  Because my wife always anticipates the worst, we were able to get there by 4:20.  As a result, we were there before they were even letting passengers and employees into the terminal.  As we stood there waiting, a young lady came out and set up the stanchions to guide us through the maze and to the check-in.  She set them up and worked hard to get them precisely the way she wanted them. 

Shortly after she was finished, another person came out and rearranged all of them to her satisfaction.  As she was finishing, a young man came over and changed them to the way he felt they should be.  This process was repeated by two more people.  Finally, the original girl came over and set them back to the way she had placed them initially.  This setup lasted for about five minutes.  Then it was time to let passengers in and the stanchions had to be moved to allow us to go through.

Another interesting thing was that the lovely Elaine was prescreened, according to her boarding pass, and she was told to go through a different line.  What made it curious was that her line and the one I was in (I was not prescreened) came together at the end because, that early in the morning, there was only one TSA person on duty.  I had to remove everything from my pockets, take off my belt and shoes and place all that stuff with my carry-on bags on a conveyor. 

I then had to go into the scanner and be checked for who knows what.  I guess they want to make sure you are not carrying explosives in your various crevices.  When I got out, I was taken aside and frisked because I had left something in my pocket.  I carry a cloth for cleaning my glasses and forgot to take it out.  The machine caught that and I was checked.  I am glad they are that diligent.  The cloth is 6.5” X 3.5”.  You can create a lot of mayhem with something that size if you know what you are doing, and you are MacGyver.

Having cleared that major hurdle, we went to our gate to wait for our flight.  I find it interesting that the various concessions stands in the airport do not really care about anyone who is departing before 6:30 in the morning.  They do not open until 6 and by that time you are already on board for your early flight.  I was “jonesing” for coffee at that time and really needed to have my first hit.  My body is set so that I have to have my first cup within 20 minutes of waking up or I become just a bit crazy (I know, how can you tell the difference).  

Because we had to make a connecting flight, we were using small suitcases that we could place in the overhead compartments.  Also because of that connecting flight and our physical limitations – we are old, slow, Elaine’s hip can be a problem and my knee has its moments – we had requested wheelchair assistance when we landed in Detroit.  As a result, we were able to board our flights first, which gave us an opportunity to put our suitcases near us, making deplaning a bit simpler.  It is always interesting to see the looks you get when they let you board first, especially when there does not appear to be anything wrong with you.

The flight took off on time.  They came around with the beverage cart, claiming they were serving coffee.  I was glad because I really needed it, but all they served was brown liquid with a faint coffee aroma to it.  It was not until much later, after our two flights and getting our rental car, that we were finally able to find a place to get a decent cup of coffee.  One other thing I found interesting was, while in the terminal, I heard them announcing that there would be food available on the flights and we were also welcome to bring food with us.  I wondered what they would do if we brought a pizza or a pan of lasagna.

One of the things that always amazes me is the size and amount of stuff that people try to take on the plane as carry on luggage.  There are people with a small suitcase and a shoulder bag and a backpack and cannot understand why they are not allowed to take all that on board.  The standard is one suitcase that meets their size criteria and one bag that can go under the seat.  There are people who try to bring things on that do not come close to meeting the size rules and their other bag would not fit under the seat if it sat three feet off the floor.  When the person at the gate tells them they cannot bring the bags on the plane they act so surprised.  “I am sorry sir but you will have to check that upright piano.  You cannot take that as carry on.”

“Really?  I thought I could.  Did they change the rules?”

We were fortunate that we did not have the problems that they always show on TV and in commercials.  We did not have to deal with the oversized person who would barely fit in two seats or the guy who falls asleep on your shoulder and drools while he snores in your ear.  For the most part, our flights were smooth, we departed and arrived on time and aside from the fact that their coffee was lousy, we had good flights.  I would tell you what airline we were on, but they are not willing to pay for the exposure.

This week our fact tells us that American poet Edgar Allan Poe was thrown out of West Point Academy in 1831 after showing up for inspection stark naked.  That was always one of the problems I had with the military, they did not value individualism.