Today is Sunday, March 24.  Happy Palm Sunday.  There are only 276 days until Christmas, so start watching for the Swiss Colony sales.  Today is the birthday of Jose F de Isla, Andrew Mellon and Steve McQueen.  Today, in 1664, Roger Williams was granted a charter to colonize Rhode Island; in 1898, the first automobile was sold and in 1960 the US Appeals Court ruled that the novel “Lady Chatterly’s Lover” was not obscene.  It is Army Day in Laos and Agriculture Day in the US.

I have a few different items to discuss this week.  Nothing pressing, just some things that I wanted to toss out for your consideration.  The lovely Elaine and I went to Red Lobster recently for dinner.  Elaine was salivating at the thought of Lobster Fest, we had a gift card and a coupon.  You have to understand – a gift card and a coupon is a combination that she will not pass up.  For those of you who care, we had a very nice dinner.  She had her lobster and I enjoyed their pork chop dish (I am not a seafood person, generally).  

But here is the issue.  They advertise unlimited Cheddar Bay Biscuits.  I said to Elaine, “Are these CHEDDAR Bay Biscuits or are they CHEDDAR BAY biscuits?  If they are the former, what does a regular Bay Biscuit taste like?  Why would someone want to add cheddar to them?  Are there Garlic Bay Biscuits or any other flavors?  If the latter, where is Cheddar Bay and what is so special about it that they would name a biscuit after the place?”  She gave me “the look” and took another bite of her biscuit.  I got the distinct impression that she really didn’t care one way or the other.

Here is another issue that I have wondered about for some time and which came up again the other night.  I was surfing channels to find something to watch.  There is not much worth watching on TV after midnight, in my opinion.  I happened to pass by a channel showing part of a fashion show.  I was struck by several thoughts.  One was that I thought it was interesting that most of the clothing you see on these shows is never actually worn by anyone in real life.  At least I don’t think it is.  Of course, I do not generally hang out with the type of people who might wear it.  You know the ones I mean, the ones who think eating a big meal is looking at pictures of food while having a cracker and a small glass of water.

What I also find interesting is that most clothing is not designed for the average woman.  All the models are rail thin, tall, leggy women with no real shape, no breasts, no butt and no shoulders to speak of.  Look around you!  This is not what most women look like.  If you want to sell clothing, design something that looks good on the typical woman, the one with large breasts or broad shoulders or who is short or chubby or has a slightly out-of-proportion butt.  If you can do that people will beat a path to your store.

I know I have said this before, but I feel I should repeat the complaint.  I recently saw a commercial for a cream that will remove the bags, dark lines and wrinkles from under your eyes.  The commercial touted the cream, saying it would stop the aging process and make you look years younger.  If the model they were using looked years younger, she would still be in grammar school.  If you want people to really believe that your product works, use a person who has the problems you claim you can correct and show us the results.  Nothing speaks louder than results.

One more issue that I find interesting is when you make a purchase in a store with your credit card.  In many of the stores, the pad where you sign has a message that comes up telling you the amount of the charge and asking if this is okay.  I have wondered what would happen if you said it is not okay.  What would the reaction be if I said, “No that is not okay.  I have been unemployed for over a year and that is just too much.  I would rather that it be around $5 rather than the 26.89 you are charging.”  I may have to give that a try some day.  I’ll let you know the results.

Okay, I have vented and feel better for it.  Thank you for tolerating my ramblings.  By the way, to follow up on the Martha Stewart calendar thing, I thought I would give you advanced notice for a couple matters in April.  On the fourth you should schedule the spring maintenance for cars and farm vehicles, on the 11^th you want to wash winter clothes and store with sachets of cedar shavings and on the 28^th, you want to sow tomatoes in the greenhouse.  By the way, don’t forget Nephew Kirk’s birthday on the 17^th.