Well, here it is February 3 already.  Yesterday was my father’s birthday.  I’ll have to check and see if he saw his shadow.  Today is the birthday of Alvar Aalto, Blythe Danner and Morgan Fairchild.  The first paper money in America was issued in the colony of Massachusetts on this day in 1690.  On this day in 1882, PT Barnum bought his world famous elephant, Jumbo.  In 1973 President Nixon signed the Endangered Species Act into law.  Today is the start of the Bean Throwing Festival in Japan, it is Patron’s Day in Paraguay and in Switzerland, Homstrom celebrates the end of winter.

I am sorry that you all could not be with me the other day.  You would have enjoyed the show.  I went to a store to make a purchase and I was using a card that had my wife’s name on it so that I could take advantage of a coupon.  I handed the girl the card, she looked at it and said, “Are you Elaine?”  She smiled when she said it, an obvious attempt at humor and small talk.

I responded, straight-faced, “Yes I am.  My mother was hoping for a girl.  But I usually go by my middle name.”

Taken aback, she asked, “What is that?”

I said, again seriously, “Betty.”

I got the impression from the look on her face that she actually sort of believed me, but she wasn’t completely sure.  But that was it.  No more small talk.  Just a quick processing of the transaction and a very puzzled look.  I am sure she will be shaking her head about that all day.  It was all I could do to get out of the store without cracking up.  

I like to do that kind of thing to people.  It makes day-to-day life much more interesting.  One time, during an election period, our phone rang.  I answered and a perky young lady said, “Hi!  I’m calling for Senator whoever it was.”  I said, “I’m sorry, he isn’t here” and hung up.  Another time, I answered our door to find members of a religious group on my porch.  They wanted to give me their magazine and brochure.  As they talked, I looked just slightly over their heads.  When they asked if I would be interested in their material I asked if it came in Braille.  They mumbled about being sorry to have bothered me and left.

I had to return an item to a store.  When I got to the counter, the person there asked why I was returning it.  I responded, “Because my wife told me to.”  That ended that conversation and the transaction went very quickly.  I find that there are two effects to that kind of answer.  One is that they don’t ask any more questions and two is that they get done very quickly.  In addition, it makes it more fun for me.

I feel that you should try to have as much fun as you can in life.  You only get one shot at it, so you might as well enjoy it.  I take things seriously if and when I have to, but prefer not to.  My son once asked me, “Why do they call this a sedan (not the real question, only used for illustrative purposes)?”  My response was, “Because umbrella was already being used.”  

As I have said in the past, I look at things a little differently than other people.  As an example – recently I was getting ready to take a shower.  As I walked, undressed, from the bedroom to the bathroom, the lovely Elaine chastised me for not pulling the shade down in the hallway.  I pointed out to her that if, unlikely as it may seem, someone was actually outside watching the window, hoping to see me walk by, they deserved the reward for their patience and perseverance.  Besides, I look at it as a public service.  Once they see me, they will be so traumatized that it will be months or years before they take a chance on looking in someone’s window again.

Well, that is all for this week.  Thank you for reading.  Be sure to share this link with your friends.  It isn’t nice to be selfish.  Talk to you next week.

Betty