Today is Sunday, July 22 and there are only 158 days until Christmas, so start writing out the cards and getting your wrapping paper.  Today we remember the birthdays of Rev William Archibald Spooner, Emma Lazarus and Alex Trebeck.  On this day in 1775 George Washington took command of the troops of the Continental Army, in 1933 Caterina Jarboro sang “Aida” in New York City- the first black prima donna in the US and in 1969 Aretha Franklin was arrested for disturbing the peace in Detroit.  In Poland it is Liberation Day, in Swaziland it is the King’s Birthday and in the US it is National Hammock Day and National Penuche Fudge Day.

Yes, I am back.  I apologize for not writing the past couple weeks, but it was just not possible.  I fully intended to write last week; however, the ten-hour trip took well over 12 hours and I was pretty sure I would not be able to put together a coherent post.  I am not certain what the story is with the Maryland/Virginia area, but no matter when I travel through there I run into traffic.  I thought that coming home from South Carolina on a Saturday, hitting that area in late afternoon, would be relatively simple.  I expected some traffic, but I did not anticipate adding close to three hours to my trip because of it.  Granted a small amount of that time can be attributed to stopping for gas, getting rid of coffee (if you know what I mean) and getting fresh coffee, necessitating the need for additional stops, but most of it was traffic related.

We drove through most of Virginia in bumper-to-bumper traffic.  At one point we decided to stop and have dinner.  We felt that would give the traffic time to thin out.  We stopped, had a nice meal and then got back on the road, confident that the delays were done.  WRONG!  It took us about 20 minutes, but we were able to catch up to the crowd and spend the next hour or so sitting in more traffic.  As I said, it does not seem to matter what time of the year, what day of the week or what time of day it is.  When you get to Baltimore, you can be sure that it is going to take quite a bit of time to get as far south as Richmond.  Or the other way around if you are heading north.  Sometimes the delays go beyond those points, but you can be sure that you will be jammed up for some time.

Okay, I am done whining about traffic.  Let me address a question that I am sure many of you have – What the heck is Penuche Fudge?  It is fudge made with brown sugar, milk and butter, but no chocolate.  You can also add walnuts or pecans.  There are numerous recipes for it, so find one, make some and celebrate the day.

I don’t know about you guys, but I have issues with the GPS that I use in my car.  Generally, I use it to make sure I am on the correct roads when travelling a distance.  I use one that has up-to-the-minute traffic information and lets me know what is going on ahead of me.  Here is my problem.  The system is inanimate and does not recognize when it becomes annoying.  It cannot discern the frustration or sarcasm in my voice and just continues to do what it is supposed to do.

Here is an example.  I am driving along and suddenly the system, with that annoying voice that electronic systems have, says, “Traffic on your route has changed. There is an alternate route that is five minutes faster.  Do you want to take it?”  I respond with a no and it says that it is continuing on the current route. Two or three minutes later, as we approach the next exit, it offers me the same choice and I again respond with a no, each time more sarcastically than the time before.  This happens each time we get near an exit.  Of course, the traffic issues are usually in areas where there are numerous exits so I get to hear this question repeatedly. 

They should make these systems so that they ask you the question once and then leave it alone until you request an alternative because you are tired of reading the same dumb bumper stickers on the car ahead of you.  You know, the ones that tell me their dog is smarter than my honor roll kid.  If that were true their dog would be able to nuke its own food and not have to use the backyard as a toilet … but I digress.

 Another thing that would be good is if they offered a threshold for alternative routes.  For example, don’t offer alternatives unless they cut the time by 30 minutes.  The drawback there is something that I think I talked about a month or so ago.  I took the alternative and then traffic changed and I had to take an alternative to the alternative.  Oh well, just part of the fun.

I am not necessarily noted for sartorial splendor, but I do make a point of wearing clothing that fits me, now.  I have noticed that that is not the case with everyone.  More to the point, the bigger they are, the less chance there is that their clothing fits properly.  When the waist of your shorts sits below your stomach and your top does not reach your belly button, you need to rethink your wardrobe (and perhaps your eating habits).  Generally speaking, most of us cannot wear our favorite t-shirt from when we were in high school 50 years ago.  For the people who I saw trying that, please stop.  I saw one guy wearing a t-shirt that I am not sure ever did fit him, but certainly does not now.  The shirt also had evidence of several meals on it, which I am pretty sure he could not see because it was under the belly curve.  Please give some thought to what you wear, for all our sakes.

This week our fact tells us that a survey reported that 12% of Americans think that Joan of Arc was Noah’s wife.  There really isn’t much for me to say about this.  And yet, people still feel we don’t need to bother teaching history.  The truth is that Noah’s wife’s name was Betty.  At least that was what I told my son when he asked me.