Today is Sunday, August 13 and there are only 103 days until Black Friday.  Here’s a fun way to prepare for the day and entertain friends, too.  Get about 8 or 10 people together and all try to get into the bathroom at the same time.  Keep the door locked for most of the evening.  That will help simulate the urgency of getting in there first.  Today we remember the birthdays of William Caxton, Lucy Stone and Don Ho.  On this day in 1651 Litchfield, CT was founded, in 1876 the Reciprocity Treaty between the US and Hawaii was ratified and in 1961 construction of the Berlin Wall began in East Germany.  In Tunisia it is International Women’s Day, in Italy it is Palio Del Golfo and in the US it is National Prosecco Day and National Filet Mignon Day.

Barbara and I were on our way to Cape Cod this past week and we passed an area on Interstate 95 that I had seen many times.  It had a sign which read, “Correctional Facility Area.  No Stopping.”  I have always wondered what would happen if someone actually stopped there.  Imagine you are driving along at 65 and you blow a tire.  You struggle to control the car and get it off the road without wrecking.  As you try to figure out where the jack and the spare tire are, a swarm of police cars, sirens wailing and lights flashing, come rushing out of the woods at you.  Several beefy officers start yelling at you to get down on the ground, one of them pepper sprays you, one of them tases you and as you thrash around another kneels on your head while a fourth one cuffs you.

Once they have you subdued, they start hectoring you to find out what you are doing there, which prisoner is trying to escape, etc.  They finally stop yelling long enough for you to try to explain that you have a flat tire.  Of course it takes a while because you are unable to speak well because of the spray and the electric shock.  At first it sounds like, “I hab a fla ire.”  They are not pleased with the answer and start yelling at you to talk – or else!  Finally you explain that you have a flat tire.  One of them looks at your tire and speaks into his microphone.  A minute later, they uncuff you and tell you that you are free to go.  You explain that your tire is still flat.  

They explain that you cannot stay there.  “You are going to have to roll your car down the hill until you are not in this facility area and then call for assistance.”  You ask if they can call someone for you, but they say it is not their job unless it is a facility vehicle.  They drive back into the woods and leave you standing there with your eyes burning, your nose running, your clothes ripped and dirty, a bad headache and a tire that’s still flat.  This is probably not what would happen, but it does make for an entertaining surmise.

So what is it about people that they are unable to follow instructions?  While on the cape, we were at a ferry landing waiting for our boat to arrive.  There was a small lot that was for unloading and the signs were specific about which way to go when you departed.  The signs were at the head of each parking space and were big enough to read easily.  Didn’t matter!  There were several people who decided that they wanted to go a different way and had to be stopped and turned around.  While on the boat, passengers were told that they should use the rear doors to go out on the deck.  The side doors even had signs telling people not to use them.  Didn’t matter!  Several people went in and out anyway.

As the boat was getting ready to dock, an announcement was made saying that we were arriving at our destination, “and for safety reasons, the captain has asked that you remain seated until we are fully docked.  At that time crew members will open the doors and direct you to the exits.”  Didn’t matter!  Most of the people were up and out the doors before the crew member had finished making the announcement.  What made it worse was that the passengers were rushing to get off as if they were afraid the boat would start back before they got on land.  I hope this never corrects itself.  At my age, I don’t think my heart could take it if a large group of people all actually did what they were supposed to do.

I was also not surprised to see that people from other states don’t look in mirrors and see themselves as others do, either.  I saw one guy who was wearing a plaid shirt and plaid shorts.  Unfortunately, they were slightly different colors and styles and did not even come close to matching.  I saw another guy with a Hawaiian shirt and plaid shorts.  It was obvious that some of them thought, “I like this shirt and I like these shorts” but never considered whether or not they went together.  Let me assure you that a red, green and yellow plaid blouse does not go with a blue and pink flowered skirt.  Honest, lady, it doesn’t.  I saw you in it and I am sure that it does not!

This week our fact tells us that our fingernails have the same ingredients as fly poop.  Just one more reason why I am glad I don’t bite my nails anymore.  One of the reasons I stopped was because my father promised me a quarter for each nail that had to be cut … but I digress.  My questions are simply why was this ever an issue and how is it possible that the ingredients are the same?  Someday I would like to talk to the person who discovered this and get the story behind the fact.