Today is Sunday, August 27 and there are only 57 days until National Boston Crème Pie Day so don’t wait too long to place your order.  Today we remember the birthdays of Samuel Goldwyn, Mother Teresa and Ira Levin.  On this day in 1667 Jamestown, VA experienced the earliest recorded hurricane in the US (actually the New World as it had not become the US yet), in 1859 the first successful oil well was drilled, near Titusville, PA and in 1961 Francis the Talking Mule was the mystery guest on “What’s My Line.”  In Gibraltar it is Late Summer Bank Holiday and in the US it is National Pots de Crème Day and National Just Because Day.

I know many of you are wondering what Pots de Crème is (are?).  First let me start out with the way to pronounce this dessert – Poh – deh – Krem.  It is a loose French dessert custard dating back to the 17^th century.  The name means “pot of custard” which also refers to the porcelain cups in which the dessert is served.  It is made with eggs, egg yolks, cream, milk and a flavor, usually vanilla or chocolate.

In researching this, I found that most recipes are for chocolate.  Some recipes require the cream to be heated, left to cool, and then baked for 30 minutes.  One recipe used a blender to mix everything and then added coffee to the chocolate.  Yet another baked the dishes for 55 minutes and then chilled them for a minimum of three hours.  There was one that I saw that did not bake them at all, but used heated liquid in a blender and then chilled the dishes for six to eight hours.  So, basically, if you were planning on making these to celebrate the day, you should have started them first thing this morning.  Now you can file this info in your Useless Dessert Information file.  By the way, have you noticed that stressed backwards is desserts?  

This past week, Barbara and I went down the shore.  It was a beautiful day and we figured why not?  The place we go to is a state park.  Since I am a senior citizen, I have a pass that gets me in without having to pay.  I also wanted to work on evening my tan out a little.  When we were in Myrtle Beach, I made several mistakes.  One was I tried spraying sun block on against the wind.  Another was that I didn’t recline enough and my man boobs and belly rolls covered parts of my chest and stomach and, as a result, I have some interesting white stripes across my body.  The final mistake I made was that I didn’t roll over, so the front of me is tanned with stripes and the back is white.  I imagine I could be the subject of someone else’s blog after they’ve seen me on the beach.

Anyway, we were sitting on the beach and I noticed something that I had seen before and never really thought about.  I saw a woman sitting in the surf.  The water was not real deep, but when a wave came in it washed up over her lap.  I am not quite sure what the correlation is, but every time I have seen this, it has involved a rather large woman.  This particular one was sitting, facing the ocean and letting the waves wash over her.  After a while she rolled over, facing up the beach and let the waves continue to hit her.  

She changed position several times and seemed quite content.  All I could think about was how much sand she had accumulated and where she had accumulated it.  Making the sand collection even more possible was the fact that she was wearing a rather skimpy bikini.  Skimpy for her size, that is.  That same bathing suit would have looked pretty good on a person half her size.  I am sure that she had sand in places where it simply does not belong.  With all the sand she was going to be taking with her, I can better understand the constant need for beach replenishment.  I am also reasonably sure that it was going to take her a couple days to get it out of all the crevices that were available to sand invasion.  Some of the things people do is a mystery to me.

For example, as we walked the boardwalk later in the evening, I saw a woman with bright red hair that turned to purple toward the ends of the hair.  The hair was not exactly neatly combed.  In fact she looked like she had been standing in front of a strong fan for some time.  She was slightly overweight and wore a dress that highlighted that condition.  She was covered with tattoos and piercings.  I thought that maybe she did it because she liked the attention, but I heard her complain a couple times when people stared at her.  If she didn’t want people staring at her like she was some kind of side show character, she shouldn’t have gone out in public looking like one.

Don’t get me wrong.  I think people have the right to look whatever way they want to.  There are a number of looks that are not for me, but that doesn’t mean someone else can’t look that way.  I don’t think that everyone should look like I do.  If they did we would have a bunch of slightly overweight, slightly big bellied, balding, aging guys wearing Hawaiian shirts walking around.  What I am saying is that if you decide on how you want to look, go with it.  You cannot expect everyone to think it is good, but that should not matter.  If you like it, that’s all that counts.  Just be ready for people’s reactions.  By the way, if you are interested, I can help you find some great Hawaiian shirts.

This week our fact tells us that only 52% of Americans drink coffee.  That means that all those other people in line in front of me are buying those drinks in plastic cups with their names written on them that aren’t really coffee.  There should be a separate line for people for people who just want coffee.  After all, only 52% of us would use it.

Today is Sunday, August 20 and there are only 127days until Christmas.  “Play that Christmas music white boy” (with apologies to Wild Cherry).  Today we remember the birthdays of Oliver Hazard Perry, Benjamin Harrison and Connie Chung.  On this day in 1866 President Andrew Johnson declared the Civil War over, in 1896 the dial telephone was patented and in 1960 USSR recovered two dogs; the first living organisms to return from space.  In Hungary it is Constitution Day, in Senegal it is Independence Day and in the US it is National Radio Day and National Chocolate Pecan Pie Day.

By now, I am pretty sure that everyone knows that tomorrow there will be a solar eclipse.  Those within the path of totality will see the complete eclipse; however everyone in North America, plus parts of South America, Africa, and Europe will see at least a partial solar eclipse.  This celestial event is a solar eclipse in which the moon passes between the sun and Earth and blocks all or part of the sun for up to about three hours, from beginning to end, as viewed from a given location.  For this eclipse, the longest period when the moon completely blocks the sun from any given location along the path will be about two minutes and 40 seconds.  The last time the contiguous U.S. saw a total eclipse was in 1979.

The sun is the most powerful source of energy in the solar system.  It’s the most energetic object for light-years in all directions (it’s literally a huge fusion reactor).  The energy it expels is so intense it can actually burn holes in your vision.  You never want to look directly at the sun without appropriate protection except during totality.  That could severely hurt your eyes.  However, there are many ways to safely view an eclipse of the sun including direct viewing – which requires some type of filtering device and indirect viewing where you project an image of the sun onto a screen.  Both methods should produce clear images of the partial phase of an eclipse.  Many of the TV stations will be carrying live coverage, so take advantage of that.  However you view it, be careful.

Okay, enough science.  As I mentioned last week, I recently drove to Cape Cod.  As we drove through New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island and Massachusetts I noticed that all of these states had one thing in common.  They all had truck weighing stations and none of them were open.  Some of these places were obviously expensive facilities.  So why were none of them functioning?  There must have been a reason for them to be built, other than giving business to the construction companies involved, right?  I would like to believe that at least some of my tax dollars were being spent for something that had a purpose.

My understanding of the function of a weigh station is that it checks the weight of trailers to insure that they are not violating the weight restrictions for highways within the state.   In addition, driver logs are checked to be sure the truck is in a safe condition and that drivers have not exceeded the number of hours they can drive without resting.  They can also inspect the cargo to be sure the truck is hauling what it is supposed to be.  Any violations can result in large fines which can be revenue for the state.  Let me repeat that – violations can result in large fines which can be revenue for the state.  I would think the underscored words would have some meaning for the powers that be.

I remember a big article in the newspaper some months ago that bragged about a weigh station in my state that inspected a truck and found it was carrying a large amount of narcotics.  Great job!  So weigh stations provide a state with the potential for generating revenue and for seizing contraband.  Which of these things is the reason why they are never open?  I would think that you would want them open and functioning 24/7.  Otherwise it would simply be a matter of waiting until you know the station is closed and then you can take your truck full of drugs, driven by a guy who has exceeded his limit by several hours and is functioning on pills and coffee, and just drive right through the state (sorry about the run on, but I was on a roll).

I am constantly amazed that none of this has occurred to anyone before.  I cannot believe that I am the only one who has thought of this.  Can’t you just hear the discussion in the state senate?  “We are thinking of spending ten million dollars to put a truck weigh station on Interstate 95.  We anticipate that it will take two years to build and that it will be state of the art.  Of course that is a conservative estimate that does not take into account construction delays and cost overruns.”

“What will the operating hours of this station be?”

“We anticipate that it will be open Monday through Thursday from 9 AM to 2 PM.”

“At that rate it will probably never pay for itself.”

“Correct, but that is what tax hikes are for.”

“Good point.  Let’s give this project a green light.”

Insert a heavy sigh here.

This week our fact tells us that in hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have two twin beds.  And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night.  And it is illegal to make love on the floor between the beds.  So many questions!  If the couple rents the room for more than one night can they push the beds together?  What exactly is it that they are trying to prevent?  Never mind illegal, why would you want to make love on the floor of a hotel room?  But, if you did want to, is it okay as long as you are not between the beds?  I think it would be simpler to just not stay in Sioux Falls!

 Today is Sunday, August 13 and there are only 103 days until Black Friday.  Here’s a fun way to prepare for the day and entertain friends, too.  Get about 8 or 10 people together and all try to get into the bathroom at the same time.  Keep the door locked for most of the evening.  That will help simulate the urgency of getting in there first.  Today we remember the birthdays of William Caxton, Lucy Stone and Don Ho.  On this day in 1651 Litchfield, CT was founded, in 1876 the Reciprocity Treaty between the US and Hawaii was ratified and in 1961 construction of the Berlin Wall began in East Germany.  In Tunisia it is International Women’s Day, in Italy it is Palio Del Golfo and in the US it is National Prosecco Day and National Filet Mignon Day.

Barbara and I were on our way to Cape Cod this past week and we passed an area on Interstate 95 that I had seen many times.  It had a sign which read, “Correctional Facility Area.  No Stopping.”  I have always wondered what would happen if someone actually stopped there.  Imagine you are driving along at 65 and you blow a tire.  You struggle to control the car and get it off the road without wrecking.  As you try to figure out where the jack and the spare tire are, a swarm of police cars, sirens wailing and lights flashing, come rushing out of the woods at you.  Several beefy officers start yelling at you to get down on the ground, one of them pepper sprays you, one of them tases you and as you thrash around another kneels on your head while a fourth one cuffs you.

Once they have you subdued, they start hectoring you to find out what you are doing there, which prisoner is trying to escape, etc.  They finally stop yelling long enough for you to try to explain that you have a flat tire.  Of course it takes a while because you are unable to speak well because of the spray and the electric shock.  At first it sounds like, “I hab a fla ire.”  They are not pleased with the answer and start yelling at you to talk – or else!  Finally you explain that you have a flat tire.  One of them looks at your tire and speaks into his microphone.  A minute later, they uncuff you and tell you that you are free to go.  You explain that your tire is still flat.  

They explain that you cannot stay there.  “You are going to have to roll your car down the hill until you are not in this facility area and then call for assistance.”  You ask if they can call someone for you, but they say it is not their job unless it is a facility vehicle.  They drive back into the woods and leave you standing there with your eyes burning, your nose running, your clothes ripped and dirty, a bad headache and a tire that’s still flat.  This is probably not what would happen, but it does make for an entertaining surmise.

So what is it about people that they are unable to follow instructions?  While on the cape, we were at a ferry landing waiting for our boat to arrive.  There was a small lot that was for unloading and the signs were specific about which way to go when you departed.  The signs were at the head of each parking space and were big enough to read easily.  Didn’t matter!  There were several people who decided that they wanted to go a different way and had to be stopped and turned around.  While on the boat, passengers were told that they should use the rear doors to go out on the deck.  The side doors even had signs telling people not to use them.  Didn’t matter!  Several people went in and out anyway.

As the boat was getting ready to dock, an announcement was made saying that we were arriving at our destination, “and for safety reasons, the captain has asked that you remain seated until we are fully docked.  At that time crew members will open the doors and direct you to the exits.”  Didn’t matter!  Most of the people were up and out the doors before the crew member had finished making the announcement.  What made it worse was that the passengers were rushing to get off as if they were afraid the boat would start back before they got on land.  I hope this never corrects itself.  At my age, I don’t think my heart could take it if a large group of people all actually did what they were supposed to do.

I was also not surprised to see that people from other states don’t look in mirrors and see themselves as others do, either.  I saw one guy who was wearing a plaid shirt and plaid shorts.  Unfortunately, they were slightly different colors and styles and did not even come close to matching.  I saw another guy with a Hawaiian shirt and plaid shorts.  It was obvious that some of them thought, “I like this shirt and I like these shorts” but never considered whether or not they went together.  Let me assure you that a red, green and yellow plaid blouse does not go with a blue and pink flowered skirt.  Honest, lady, it doesn’t.  I saw you in it and I am sure that it does not!

This week our fact tells us that our fingernails have the same ingredients as fly poop.  Just one more reason why I am glad I don’t bite my nails anymore.  One of the reasons I stopped was because my father promised me a quarter for each nail that had to be cut … but I digress.  My questions are simply why was this ever an issue and how is it possible that the ingredients are the same?  Someday I would like to talk to the person who discovered this and get the story behind the fact.

Today is Sunday, August 6 and there are only 109 days until Thanksgiving, still plenty of time to decide whether to serve yams or sweet potatoes with your dinner.  Today we remember the birthdays of Francois Fenelon, Sir Alexander Fleming and Andy Warhol.  On this day in 1181 a supernova was observed by Chinese and Japanese astronomers, in 1787 the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia began debate and in 1945 the atom bomb was dropped on Hiroshima by “Enola Gay”.  In Bolivia and Jamaica it is Independence Day, in Malawi and Ireland it is August Holiday and in the US it is National Root Beer Float Day and National Wiggle Your Toes Day.

Well, a new month is upon us and it is time to break out the useless information folder.  August is the eighth month of the year and the fifth month to have a length of 31 days.  Certain meteor showers take place in August, including the Perseids, which typically takes place from July 17 to August 24.  August’s birthstones are peridot and sardonyx.  The birth flower is the poppy meaning beauty, strength of character, love, marriage and family.  The zodiac signs are Leo (until August 22) and Virgo (from the 23^rd on).

Among the holiday observances for the month are Children’s Eye Health and Safety Month, Happiness Happens Month, National Children’s Vision and Learning Month, National Immunization Awareness Month, National Dippin’ Dots Month, National Panini Month and Peach Month.  Make sure you take time to observe these special days.  I hope I have given you some useful tidbits for conversations.

Here is something I have noticed recently.  Keep in mind that I am retired and it is very hot out, so I spend a fair amount of time inside my house watching TV.  As I have many times in the past, I have noticed a trend lately that I wonder about.  Various products are now using talking owls to push their products.  I cannot help but wonder why.  I suppose that it comes from the idea that owls are wise, but what is that based on?  Are owls actually wise?  As it turns out, not so much.  Their nocturnal habits and swift, silent flight make them seem mysterious, and they are certainly well-adapted for hunting small creatures in low light, but when it comes to measurable intelligence, owls have very small brains proportionate to their body size, and they are less trainable than crows, hawks, parrots or pigeons.  In fact, most owls can't be trained to do simple tasks.  One study found that great grey owls repeatedly failed a simple cognitive test—pulling a string to get a treat—that had been successfully solved by several other bird species.

I wonder if the people creating these commercials ever actually looked into the “wise old owl” thing before choosing it as a spokesbird for their product.  Once they selected the owl, why did they feel it necessary to give it an accent?  We have owls here in the US.  Why couldn’t the owl just speak English?  Do they feel that the accent makes it even wiser?  Generally, I am not inclined to make my consumer decisions based on the advice of a talking bird.  Just like my not buying insurance because a lizard, with an accent, tells me I should.  Geckos are found in warm climates throughout the world, so why does the commercial one have the accent that it does?  And, by the way, Flo doesn’t have an accent, but then she isn’t a lizard or an owl.  She’s just annoying.

The other problem I have is the commercial where a garden gnome is giving me travel advice.  Have you noticed that he has an accent, too?  The lesson that I take away from all this is that if I want to sell a product, I need to have an annoying spokesthing with an accent to do it. 

 

I could develop a whole series of commercials for cloth pocketbooks and use an alligator with a bayou  accent and a steer with a Texas accent talking about the benefits of fabric purses and how they hold up better that animal hide ones.  They could walk into stores and try and talk women out of buying the fancy leather ones or they could accost people on the street asking why they felt the need to buy a leather briefcase when a canvas messenger bag would have been cooler and more stylish.

Frankly, if your product is a good one, you don’t need talking owls, lizards or garden gnomes with accents.  All you need to do is show the product and have someone explain why it is good, what makes it better than the competition and what the benefits are to owning it.  Personally, I don’t have confidence in a company that thinks I am shallow enough to buy their product simply because an owl told me to.  But that’s just me.

This week our fact tells us that in Nevada it is illegal to ride a camel on the highway.  Does that mean it is okay on local streets?  Does this include the small local highways or is it restricted to state and interstate highways?

Have a good week, go have a Panini and some Dippin’ Dots and relax.  Be sure to tell your friends about this blog and invite them to enjoy it, too.