Today is April 23 and there are only 21 days until Mothers Day, so guys, start thinking about what to get your wives for the day.  Two suggestions – first don’t do like my father used to do and not get a gift for his wife because she wasn’t his mother and second do not buy her something practical.  I have said this before.   Just because it would be okay for you to get a tool for Fathers Day, doesn’t mean she would like a new microwave oven for Mothers Day.  Be romantic.  I am sure there is an app for it … but I digress.  Today we remember the birthdays of William Shakespeare, Stephan Douglas and Gabriella Windsor.  On this day in 1348 the first English order of knighthood, the Order of the Garter, was founded, in 1867 Queen Victoria and Napoleon III turned down plans for a channel tunnel and in 1981 students in Beijing, China announced class boycotts.  In Bermuda it is Peppercorn Day, in Turkey it is National Sovereignty Day and in the US it is National Cherry Cheesecake Day and National Picnic Day.

Recently, Barbara and I took off for a few days to Newport, RI.  She had never been to the New England states and I thought this would be an interesting introduction.  While there we went to Marble House, one of the Vanderbilt “cottages” (or mansions as we peons call them).  Even though I have been there before, there is always something new to see.  One of the things I noticed is that either people were shorter back then or they slept curled up.  The beds in each of the rooms did not seem as long as beds do now.  

If you have never been to Newport, it is worth the trip.  The Marble House cost $11 million to build in 1888, $7 million of which was for 500,000 cubic feet of marble.  One of the more striking rooms is the dining room which is done in pink marble.  This was a summer home for the Vanderbilts and was given to the wife of William Vanderbilt as a birthday present.  Sure beats getting a hand mixer.  I am hoping Barbara will be happy with a necklace or something like that for her birthday.  

While we were on our way home we stopped at an outlet center and did a little shopping.  As we were leaving we came to an intersection that, with very big signs, clearly marked what lane to be in for the southbound and the northbound traffic.  As we started to go, a car in the lane next to us decided that he really wanted to head south, so he just drove over into our lane, cutting me off.  I was quite annoyed and when we stopped at the next light, I got out and walked up to his car and started to berate him for his lousy driving and his attitude.  He got a little mouthy with me and just as I was about to punch him in his smug face, Barbara tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Bill, the light changed.  We can go now.”  Yeah, I know, but it could have happened.

The other day I had to run to the grocery store.  Yes I do go there a lot, but my second trip that day was to pick up a prescription.  As I was waiting in line, I saw an older woman trying on glasses.  She would put on a pair, check how they looked from different angles and then try the next pair.  This went on for a bit and she seemed to be intent on getting just the right pair.  Finally her husband got his prescription and walked over to her.  She turned to him wearing one of the pairs of glasses and asked how they looked on her.  He said, “Put them back. You don’t even wear glasses.”  She shrugged, put them back and they left.  I think the least he could have done was answered her with something like, “They look great.  Remember the model so you can get them if you ever need them.”  That’s what I would have said, maybe.

Yesterday, I was back at the grocery store.  Oh right!  Like you never forget things.  Anyway, I was there and I noticed a woman wandering the store, carrying her basket and looking at the items on the shelves.  What made her unusual was that as she walked along, she walked into other people.  She was not looking where she was going, she was looking for things she might want or need.   She seemed oblivious to the fact that there were other people in the store.  Finally, one woman, who had encountered her a couple times earlier, stopped her and said, “Do you ever actually look where you are going?”  

The offender said, “I am shopping and looking for things.”

“So am I, but I also try to watch where I am going so I don’t walk into people.”  I am not sure, but I think she also referred to the woman with a phrase indicating that she thought she was an undereducated female dog.  All I could think was, “Yes! I’m not the only one who finds this type of behavior annoying.  Even better, she said something and I didn’t have to.”  

This week our fact tells us that the great Gothic Cathedral in Milan was started in 1386 and was not completed until 1805.  This was obviously a government project.  I would bet they went over budget, too.