It is Sunday, February 26 and there are only 92 days until Memorial Day. Start shopping now before the hot dogs and hamburgers run out.  Today we remember the birthdays of Wenceslas of Bohemia, Victor Hugo and Jackie Gleason.  On this day in 1732 the first mass was celebrated in an American Catholic Church, St Joseph’s Church, Philadelphia, in 1848 Marx and Engels published “The Communist Manifesto” and in 1929 President Calvin Coolidge established Grand Teton National Park.  Throughout the world there are no holidays, but in the US it is National Pistachio Day and National Tell a Fairy Tale Day.

For those of you who are wondering, yes, the Wenceslas mentioned above is Good King Wenceslas.  Wenceslas was a 10th-century Catholic Duke of Bohemia also known as Vaclav the Good, and was martyred after being assassinated by his wicked brother, Boleslaw the Bad.  Wenceslas' remains are interred in St Vitus' cathedral in Prague, and he was recently made patron saint of the Czech Republic. His Saint's Day is September 28.

The verse is the invention of J M Neale (1818-66), and it was first published in 1853.

The charitable giving which the carol promotes is an old part of Boxing Day tradition (now supplanted by a spree on the first day of the sales).  But nobody has ever understood why Neale makes Wenceslas feel impelled to take pine logs to a peasant who already lives next to a forest, nor is it clear what significance should be ascribed to the footprint in the snow mentioned in the last verse.

The tune selected by Neale, "Tempus Adest Floridum", comes from a collection Piae Cantiones, published in 1582, where it is a spring hymn, clearly intended to accompany energetic dancing.  Its roots are thought to be Scandinavian.

It was famously parodied by Spike Milligan in Goonish voices as "Good King Ecclesias" and has been covered by musicians including Joan Baez and REM.  On the Beatles' first Christmas flexidisc, sent to their UK fan club members in 1963, the group performed several brief renditions of the carol, in a variety of arrangements, with John Lennon at one point singing a satirical set of lyrics, incorporating the names of several Hollywood stars.  That should satisfy your need for useless information this week.

Recently, the weather here in my neck of the woods has been on the warm side.  For the past couple days it has been in the 70’s, far warmer than it should be in February.  Everyone has been enjoying it, but we all know that just when we get used to it, it will get cold and it will snow.  I still think we need to consider putting back the moon rocks in an effort to get the weather back under control.  I also still ascribe to my theory that the world is turning and at some point, we will be where Australia is and our winters will be in June, July and August.  It will probably take several hundred years, so most of us will not have to run out to get winter clothing to keep us warm while we watch fireworks on the Fourth of July.

An unfortunate aspect of this weather is that people are pulling out spring and summer clothing and wearing it before they have had the opportunity to shed their winter weight.  I have seen some terrible sights these past couple days.  I saw a woman in the grocery store the other day who should really have given some thought to the outfit she had on.  She was wearing a top that was very revealing and on a woman about 75 pounds lighter would have been quite attractive.  On this person – no.  Now add to it the fact that the top did not quite reach her waist.  I think it was supposed to, but there were too many rolls of body preventing it.  And, of course there were the requisite stretch marks.  To make things worse she was wearing tights, and I mean tights!  I think she may have mistakenly picked up her 10 year old daughter’s clothing.  I wanted to go over to her and suggest that she cover up, telling her that no one wanted to see that, but I was concerned that she may have been able to take me.  So I averted my eyes and spent the rest of my shopping time trying to unsee what I had witnessed.

I cannot help but wonder how some of these people get dressed, look at themselves and think, “Yeah, this looks good.”  I don’t want to know what they would have to look like before they thought an outfit was not a good idea.  I think towns should have appearance monitors to help people get ready to go out in public.  The monitor could come by a house, meet with the person and say, ”Oh no, you are not going out looking like that, sir.  Denim leisure suits went out of style a looong time ago.  And, by the way, stop ironing creases into your jeans.”  The monitor positions would be a way of providing jobs and would prevent traumatic viewing injuries by an unsuspecting public.

The other issue I have is that people in their 40’s and older should not dress like their kids.  It just doesn’t look right and you don’t usually carry it off too well. Another thing, please guys over 30, wear your baseball caps the right way.  Perhaps it should be pointed out that the purpose of the bill on the cap is to help shade your eyes from the sun, not keep part of your neck from tanning.

This week our fact tells us that pelicans consume around 1/3 of their body weight in a single meal.  I do better than that on holidays.  Unfortunately, instead of flying around and burning off the fat and calories, I unbutton my pants and take a nap.