It is Sunday, January 31 and there are only 141 days until the first day of summer (the real first day, not Memorial Day) so start getting ready to see pasty white chubbies on the beach.  Today we remember the birthdays of Robert Morris, Zane Grey and Tallulah Bankhead.  On this day in 876 Charles became king of Italy, in 1861 the state of Louisiana took over the US Mint at New Orleans and in 1955 RCA demonstrated the first music synthesizer.  In the Shetland Islands it is Up-Helly-Aa/Norse Fire Festival, in Nauru it is Independence Day and in Surrey England it is Dicing for Maid’s Money Day.

Why is it that we never have interesting holidays like other countries do?  Don’t you wish you could walk around wishing people a Merry Up-Helly-Aa?  And Dicing for Maid’s Money Day sounds like an interesting day.  Read on.

In the 17th century, dicing (throwing dice) for money was a favorite English pastime in which large sums of money could be won or lost.  However, the annual dicing competition that still takes place in Guildford, England, is for the relatively modest sum of 11 pounds, 19 shillings.  In 1674 a local resident named John How established a fund of 400 pounds, which in his will he said he wanted invested and the proceeds distributed each year to a local "maid" or house servant who had served faithfully in the same position for at least two years.  The will also stipulated that two servants should throw dice for the gift, and that the one who threw the highest number should receive the entire amount.  In 1702; however, another, larger fund was begun by John Parsons.  Today, whoever throws the higher number receives the How prize, which is smaller than the Parson prize, which goes to the woman who throws the lower number.  So you see, it doesn’t always pay to win.

Last week, I was complaining about stupid people.  Well, this week I saw the topper.  It started with a problem that I have complained about on a number of occasions.  It has always amazed me that people sitting at a red light don’t go when the light turns green.  The only reason you have stopped is because the light is red.  I would think that you would watch the light so that when it turned, you could get going.  Wrong again!  The other day I was on my way to a doctor’s appointment (everything was fine thank you for asking) and we were stopped at a red light.  As it turned out the person creating the problem was a young woman.

Anyway, we were sitting there and the light turned green, but we did not move.  Several people politely tapped their horns to get things going.  We did not move, so they beeped their horns a little longer.  She waved her hand out the window as if to say just a minute.  The light turned to amber and we were still not going and horns were blaring.  A police car came in the opposite direction, gave a quick toot on his siren and motioned for her to move on.  She ignored him and we all sat and watched the light turn red.  The police car went down the street, turned around, came back and had her pull over to the curb.  He seemed perturbed and she appeared oblivious.  I imagine it was an interesting conversation.  I’m just sorry I did not have the time or opportunity to hang around and see what happened, but I had to get moving because the light had turned green.

Here is a job that I would love to have – naming new drugs when they are coming on the market.  I have always found it interesting that the name has nothing to do with the actual drug it is made from or the disease or condition it was created to fight. The people who come up with these names must have a lot of fun doing their job.  You always see the name, generally followed by the name of the drug.  I have never been too sure of why they do that.  Chances are no one really knows what the drug actually is … but I digress. 

Imagine, if you will, that we are in the office where the product names are created.  The group has been assigned the task of creating a name for a drug that treats moderate to severe (it’s always moderate to severe) arm pit fungus.  The actual drug is doxytocillukanyl.  So the group now has the information and they have to come up with a name.  One person suggests Golindalum.  When asked why he explains that his ex was named Linda and it would be funny to have her name in a drug that fought arm pit fungus.  Another person suggests Vaderia because he is a Star Wars fanatic.  Someone else offers Harpelika because she likes harp music.  They go around offering up names until they come up with the winner – Grillaxibule, because summer is coming and everyone likes to barbecue. 

Now the commercial comes out touting Grillaxibule (doxytocillukanyl [go ahead and check the spelling]).  They briefly mention the affliction and then go into a list of the side effects.  I heard one drug that said you could develop pancreatic cancer as a side effect.  Yeah, get me some of that!  Sorry, digressing some more.  The commercial shows women afraid to go sleeveless and guys wearing regular t-shirts on the beach.  We are all assured that Grillaxibule will make those problems a thing of the past.  One line that I always like is, “Do not take if you are allergic to Grillaxibule.”  How would you know you are allergic to it until you take it?  Anyway, that’s a job I always thought would be fun to have.

This week our fact tells us that 3.6 cans of Spam are consumed each second.  Once again I wonder why anyone took the time to figure that out.  Another question is how would we prove it wrong?  I can tell you this, by way of offering some trivia to support the claim.  By 2003 Spam was sold in 41 countries on six continents.  That was 13 years ago.  One would assume that the number has increased in that time period.  One thing I can assure you, I am not one of those people buying Spam.