Today is Sunday, February 15 and there are only 313 days until Christmas.  At this point why bother taking down last year’s decorations, they’ll be going back up in a month or so.  Today we remember the birthdays of Philipp Melanchthon, Cyrus Hall McCormick and Melissa Manchester.  On this day in 399 philosopher Socrates was sentenced to death, in 1804 New Jersey became the last northern state to abolish slavery and in 1965 Canada replaced the Union Jack flag with the Maple Leaf.  In Massachusetts it is Spanish-American War Memorial Day, in the US it is Battleship Day, Remember the Maine and tomorrow it is Presidents’ Day in the US. 

I won’t go into a protracted explanation of this Presidents’ Day since I have done so in the past.  I would like to point out an interesting item.  This holiday is celebrated on the third Monday in February.  Originally established in 1885 in recognition of President George Washington – wait for it – it is still officially called “Washington’s Birthday” by the federal government.  Does this help you better understand why everyone in government always seems so confused? 

“Senator Jones, I would like to invite you to join me for lunch on Presidents’ Day.”

“Do you mean Washington’s Birthday?”

“Yes, but on the third Monday, not on the 22^nd.”

“Huh?  Oh right. OK.”

I have always wondered why we make such a big deal out of some holidays, but completely ignore others.  For example, today is Battleship Day as I mentioned earlier.  It is held in commemoration of the battleship Maine.  In 1898 the Maine was sent to protect US interests during the Cuban revolt against Spain.  On the evening of February 15, the ship suddenly exploded and sank quickly, killing nearly three-quarters of the crew.  Why is this ignored?  We spend weeks building up to Valentine’s Day, a day for giving candy, cards and flowers, but not really related to an actual St Valentine.  I guess if retailers could find a way to make money from it, we would take time to Remember the Maine.  Take a moment during the day to give a silent nod to those who gave their lives on battleships in the service of their country.  Thank you.

I was watching TV the other evening and a car commercial came on.  It talked about how this particular car could do everything.  It had a camera to show you what was behind you.  Now I am in favor of that.  I find as I get older it becomes harder to turn around and see behind me.  That camera is a good thing.  Where I start to worry is when they have a car that lets you know someone is coming up on your side.  I thought that was what the rear view mirrors were for.  There was a time when cars only had an outside rear view mirror on the driver’s side of the car.  The great innovation came when it occurred to someone that they might want to see what was happening on the right side of the car, too.  Although I still do not have an explanation as to why things need to appear farther away on that side. 

Now they have developed mirrors that let you know something is on your side.  Does that mean that somewhere in the not-too-distant future, they will do away with those mirrors and just have sensors that let you know something is there?  They might as well get rid of the mirrors now.  The way I see people driving, they don’t use them anyway.  This would also mean there would be two less things to worry about bumping into when you walk through parking lots, not paying attention, while you text.

Another innovation they have come up with is a car that will brake itself when it gets too close to something.  My car has something that brakes when it gets too close to something, too.  It is called the driver.  Is it that hard to look out your windshield and see that you are about to crash into the car ahead of you?  Maybe if police started enforcing the cell phone laws it would cut down on that issue … but I digress.

There is a commercial that shows a car coming up behind a truck towing a large sailboat and the driver needs his crash avoidance system to tell him it is there.  I would think that he should be able to see it and brake long before he rams into it.  But that’s just me.  If it is so difficult for you to drive, then maybe you should hire someone to do it for you.  That way you can text, chat on the phone, search for music that you want to listen to, or take a nap, without endangering the lives of others.  Maybe I should start a business.  I could call it “We’ll Drive, You Relax!”

Commercial

“At We’ll Drive, You Relax! we hire and train individuals to drive your car and take you where you want to go.  Our drivers do not have cell phones or gadgets to distract them.  They are trained to get you from point A to point B without slamming into something on the way.  Our slogan is – Let us drive since you aren’t very good at it, don’t pay attention and don’t obey most of the traffic laws.”  The slogan is a bit wordy and may not fit on a business card, but that can be worked on.

Of course to get drivers who obey traffic laws and don’t get involved with cell phones, most of the people we hire will be over 70, so make sure you allow extra time to get to your destination.

This week our fact tells us that half the foods eaten throughout the world today were developed by farmers in the Andes Mountains (including potatoes, sweet potatoes, maize, squash, all varieties of beans, peanuts, papayas, strawberries and mulberries, to name a few).  You have to wonder what they were trying for. 

 “Damn!  I got this thing I guess I’ll call a potato (no “e” President Bush).  It isn’t what I was hoping for so I guess I’ll have to try again.  How you guys doin’ over there?”

“ We missed our shot, too, but we came up with maize, or what they will call corn in North America.”

“Well, keep trying.”

So have a great week and enjoy “Washington’s Birthday” tomorrow (or on the 22^nd).