It is Sunday, January 26 and there are only three more days until the lovely Elaine celebrates the 33^rd anniversary of her 30^th birthday.  She loves getting silver jewelry, if you haven’t already shopped.  Today we recognize the birthdays of Pierre Brazza, Jules Feiffer and Ellen DeGeneres.  On this day in 66 there was the fifth recorded perihelion passage of Halley’s Comet, in 1802 Congress passed an act calling for a US Capitol library and in 1995 NJ Governor Christine Whitman dedicated a rest stop to Howard Stern.  It is General Douglas MacArthur Day in Arkansas, Admission day in Michigan and Republic Day in India.

Thank goodness for global warming.  Can you imagine how cold it would be otherwise?  Right now, as I type, the temperature is below 15.  That is cold.  I am sure you have heard all the jokes about how cold it is.  The ones like – it is so cold that when you talk outside, you have to wait for spring to hear what was said.  Or it is so cold that dogs have to go in spurts to keep from being stuck to the trees.  Or, it is so cold out that, in New York City, the flashers are just giving descriptions.  Great weather for football.

Speaking of football, things are really getting interesting as we close in on the Super Bowl.  They had an article in the paper the other day that showed workers shoveling the stadium.  The NFL people were watching so that they would have some idea of how long it takes.  My first question is a two-parter.  Part one is who thought that having the Super Bowl in February in a stadium that is not domed, in New Jersey, was a good idea?  Part two would be is that person still employed by the NFL?

Now let’s add some other things to the mix to show just how much fun that day could turn out to be.  First, the traffic is horrendous in that area on a normal day.  On a regular game day, the crowds of people going to the game start coming in four hours before the game is scheduled to start.  On Super Bowl day, you will have people coming in who have never been there before and have no idea where they are going.  If it snows you will have the terrible road conditions to make it even more exciting.  We could see Silver Alerts looking for people who never made it to the game for days afterward.  Even more interesting is the fact that the NFL has said that if a storm is forecast, they might have to hold the game a couple days earlier or postpone it for a week. 

So, here is one scenario. You and several of your friends have decided that you are going to the game.  Your home team is in it and you want to be there to share in the excitement.  The four of you have somehow scored tickets for the game.  You have made your plane and hotel reservations and they cost a fortune and a half, but who cares, it is the Super Bowl! You are scheduled to land in Newark on Friday evening.  

Everyone is excited!  You have packed your thermal underwear, your mukluks and your parkas, your fleece headgear (guaranteed to keep your face warm down to 10 below) and you are all set.  You rush to the airport, board your flight and are enjoying the trip.  You are going to the Super Bowl!! 

As your plane makes it final approach into Newark, you happen to look out your window and see Met Life Stadium.  It is all lit up and there appears to be something going on.  It turns out that what you are seeing is the game in progress.  Because there is a forecast for a major snowstorm starting Saturday evening and continuing through Sunday, the NFL decided to move the game up a couple days.  

Or, skip the last paragraph and rewind to “You are going to the Super Bowl!”  Here is another scenario.  You land, gather your luggage, your prearranged ride is waiting for you (even though the sign he is holding has your name spelled wrong and you almost miss him) and off you go to the hotel you are staying in.  Saturday, you all make your way into New York City to see the sights, along with the entire populations of several of the smaller states in the area.  Not New Jersey residents, of course.  The ones who didn’t leave for Florida or California, are hunkered down in their homes and will not venture out anywhere near the stadium or NYC.

Because you are there to have fun, you do not pay any attention to the news or the weather.  Sunday morning, you get up to find yourself in the middle of a storm big enough to be given a name.  Storm Sisyphus is expected to dump 12 to 14 inches on the area.  The NFL has decided to postpone the game until the following week.  You have to be at work on Monday morning so you end up going home with nothing but a foam Statue of Liberty hat and a couple t-shirts to show for your trip.

In either one of these cases what can you do?  What do you think the chances are that you will recover any of the money you have spent for your tickets to the game?  What about what it cost for airfare and hotel? Let me put it this way – I have a better chance of getting pregnant than you do of seeing any of that cash.  If you want my advice, stay home and watch the game on TV.  It will certainly be a lot warmer.  You won’t have any problems parking and you won’t have to pay $150 to do so.  The snacks will be much cheaper, they will be done the way you like them and you won’t have to worry about how many people handled them before they got to you.

Moving on, this week our fact tells us that 96% of people put the peanut butter on first when making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (pbj).  Of course they do!  If they put the jelly on first it would be called a jelly and peanut butter sandwich or a jpb sandwich.  There are some of us who put the peanut butter on one slice of bread, the jelly on the other and then put them together, but I do not know what that would be called.  My wife just calls me nuts.