It is Sunday, September 29 and there are only 87 days until Christmas.  Time to get going on the cards and letters if you haven't already sent them (I warned you a few weeks ago).  Birthday greetings to Michael Servetus, Greer Garson and Erika Eleniak.  Today in 1789 the US War Department established a regular army, in 1907 construction began on the Washington National Cathedral and the first color telecast of a football game was shown on CBS in 1951.  It is Dhimbhulhami Tsechhu in Bhutan, Constitution Day in Brunei and Gold Star Mother's Day in the US.

This is one of those weeks when I do not have much to discuss.  Now that the lovely Elaine is back to school,we don't go out as much so I don't get as many chances to see weird people and things or to get annoyed by the people who seem to have been put on earth forthe express purpose of being annoying. Those people, as I am sure you are aware, are quite good at fulfilling their purpose.  They seem to go out of their way to do it.  And it appears to be intentional.  There is no way they could be doing it accidentally.

I would like to point out that, having just had my father's funeral, I have discovered that there is money in death.  Think about it for a few moments.  Everything you do costs money - everything! There is a cost for the use of the funeral home, the hearse, the church, the priest, the music, even the men who try to look sad (I suppose the word somber would be better) as they wheel the casket in and out of the buildings.  I wouldn't mind if they actually carried the casket, but six men are getting paid to wheel it around.

Let's also reflect on the casket itself.  Those things go for thousands of dollars.  I have seen some that were $11,000 and there were some that cost far more.  For what? You put the deceased in it, people come and pay their last respects, the funeral is held and then the casket is put in the ground and covered with dirt, never to be seen again.  That seems like an awful lot of money for something that is going into the ground.  I think the caskets should be made out of the cardboard material they make some egg cartons out of.  It would be less expensive and would break down easier in the ground.
Another issue that I always find interesting is the way people behave at the wake.  They all try to talk quietly and "show respect" during the wake.  I will say this now for anyone who may attend my wake  - I do not want people to be quiet and respectful.  I am not, never have been and do not want it at my wake.  I have told the lovely Elaine that I would like to be in a small room, with just enough space for people to come by the casket and see me.  Let's face it, there are always people who come just to be sure you are actually dead. I want to select a funeral home that is close to a restaurant so that you come by the body then go to the party that I want held.  I want people to go home thinking, "Damn,that was one fine wake."

I also requested that when I am being prepared, I want a smile on my face.  If you look at most people when they are in the casket the look on their face looks like they are try to suppress gas.  I don't want that look.  On other thing I wanted was to have a whoopee cushion put in the kneeler they usually put by the casket, to add some levity to the event.  When I mentioned this to the lovely Elaine I got the look.  I'm guessing there will be no whoopee cushion. Oh well, some people just don't know how to have fun.

This week's fact tells us that 68% of a Hostess Twinkie is air.  That means that 2% is cake and the rest is a combination of chemicals.  These chemicals, if changed slightly, would form a 1957 Chevy Impala with metal flakepaint.  Yum, give me that polysorbate 80.