Sunday, May 19 has arrived and there are now only 220 days until Christmas.  Time to start watching the Christmas Clasics, like “It’s A Wonderful Life” and “Mr. Magoo Christmas Carol.”  It is the birthday of Johns Hopkins, Schlomo Joffe and Martyn Ware.  On this day in 1780, about midday, near-total darkness descended on much of New England.  To this day its cause is still unexplained.  In 1898 the Post Office authorized the use of post cards and in 1979 “In The Navy” by the Village People hit #3.  It is Flag Day of the Army in Finland, in Turkey it is Youth and Sports Day and tomorrow is Victoria Day in Canada.

I have to tell you that I am becoming concerned with how dumb people are becoming.  I saw a commercial the other night that showed cars driving off a cliff into the ocean in Italy and then driving up onto the shore here in the US.  At the bottom of the screen was a disclaimer that said, “For demonstration purposes only. Do not attempt.”

Are there really people out there who would see that commercial, fly to Italy, buy a car, drive it off a cliff into the ocean and expect to drive all the way to New York?  Really??  I would think that those people would have a hard time just remembering to breathe, without trying to navigate, under water, from there to here. 

I suppose there should have been a disclaimer on a series of Anheuser-Busch commercials.  The series showed ads in which two beautiful women came to life in front of two truck drivers.  A Michigan man bought a case of beer, drank it and failed to see the two women.  He sued the company for false advertising.  The court dismissed the case.  But this does highlight the dumbness of people.  That guy really thought the women would appear because he drank the beer.  After drinking a whole case he’s lucky he could see.  Maybe they appeared and he missed them because he was in the bathroom peeing all that beer out.

Here is something else for us to consider.  Some years ago a woman bought coffee at McDonald’s.  She spilled the coffee and burned herself as a result.  She sued, they settled and now they have a warning on the cups that say the coffee is hot.  I would think that we should be able to figure that out for ourselves.  Unless you ask for iced coffee, you should be able to work out the fact that it is hot.  That; however, is not the point.  The point is that when you cross the border into Canada, McDonald’s does not have that warning on their cups.  This leads to one of three conclusions – 1) Canadians are smarter than we are and have figured out that coffee is hot.  2) We are dumber than Canadians and need someone to tell us that coffee is hot.  3) It is usually so cold in Canada, that they are happy with anything that is hot, regardless of where it is spilled.

But stupid is not restricted to a particular area, it is rampant everywhere.  Here are some laws that supposedly intelligent people have felt were needed to protect the public.  US federal law makes it illegal to issue a fake Weather Bureau forecast.  The Weather Bureau can screw foredasts up without help, so do not make it worse than it already is.  In Bergen County, NJ, Blue Laws are still in effect.  The only stores permitted to be open on Sundays are grocery stores and liquor stores.  So, let’s get some snacks and a bottle of good vodka and sit around bemoaning the fact that we can’t go shopping.

There are some laws that you have to wonder what happened to make the law necessary.  For example, in Baltimore it is illegal to take a lion to the movies.  An Illinois state law requires that a man’s female companion has to call him “Master” while out on a date.  This law does not apply to married couples.  I’m guessing it is a law is not enforced too often.  I would truly love to know the background on this law from Oklahoma – it is illegal to have a sleeping donkey in your bathtub after 7 PM.

New York City has two laws that I find interesting.  One is that it is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing.”  In some cases I have to agree and feel that the law should be extended to men, too.  The other law states that women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.  An additional benefit to this law is it avoids being fined by violating the other law.

Generally, I think people are becoming stupid because it is easier than being not stupid.  I once heard a salesman in a large home goods store talking to a customer about faux (pronouncing the x in the word) wood.  I was in a parking lot once where there was a single row of spaces that could be entered from either side.  I stood and watched a guy back into the space, when all he had to do was pull into it.  When asked why they backed into parking spaces, one person replied that it made it easier to pull out. “Besides I hate backing up and this way I avoid it.”  Okay, Einstein, but how did you get into the space?  As the lovely Elaine is always saying, “You can’t make this stuff up!”

Now, time for the fact of the week – donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. 

Have a good week and watch out for donkeys.