Today is Sunday, January 6, 2013.  If I were going to drag on the number of days to Christmas thing, I would tell you that there are 353, but I think I will give that a rest for now.  There are; however, only 73 days until the first day of spring, so start watching for the summer clothing close-out sales.  Today is the birthday of Claude Favre baron de Perouges seigneur de Vaugelas, Franz Xaver Scharwenka and Geert Brusselers.  On this day in 1639 Virginia was the first colony to order surplus crops (tobacco) destroyed, in 1838 Samuel Morse made the first public demonstration of the telegraph and in 1975 “Wheel of Fortune” debuted on NBC-TV.  Today, New Mexico celebrates Admission Day (1912) and it is Children’s Day in Uruguay.  Tomorrow will be Handsel Monday in Scotland.

I recently went for a sleep study to help me in the never-ending battle against sleep apnea.  For those of you who don’t know what sleep apnea is, it is a sleeping disorder characterized by abnormal pauses in breathing during sleep.  Common symptoms are loud snoring, restless sleep and sleepiness during the day.  If you are not sure if the person sharing your bed has apnea, ask the lovely Elaine what to look for.  She is an expert on the subject.  She claims that on our wedding night, she realized that she would probably never get a good night’s sleep again.

She claimed that I snored, LOUDLY, and complained about it all the time.  I responded, once, that I stayed awake all night and never heard a thing.  I got “the look.”  Ultimately (read years later) I went for a sleep study and found that I did, indeed, have apnea.  In fact, the study showed that I was not breathing 40 minutes out of every hour.  I got a c-pap machine and the problem was solved.  Although, for some time it was too quiet and Elaine had trouble getting to sleep, but she got over that rather quickly.

Some months ago, I went for another study because it was felt that I might need the pressure increased.  I did and things were good, again.  Recently, new issues arose and resulted in my going for the aforementioned sleep study.  For this study, my doctor sent me to a different location than the one I went to in the past.  Let me just say that one would think that a sleep study is a sleep study and they should be the same wherever you go.  Not so!

Prior to going, I received a packet of instructions.  Among other things, I was told not to have caffeine after noon.  Now, anyone who knows me realizes that I was ready to cancel when I read that.  Then I was told to be sure and shower and wash my hair prior to going.  Do they really get that many dirty people going for sleep studies?  What made it worse was I was told that it would be better if I did not have any weaves or extensions.  I’m glad that I decided to hold off on those until later in the month.  The thing that really got me was the line that said no nudity.  What do they have against naked, overweight old men?  

So, I got there for the study and was directed to my room.  I was told to be there for 8:30.  I wondered why so early?  I don’t usually go to bed until around 1, so I knew there was no way I would be ready to sleep that early.  I was told to change into my pajamas so that the tech could get started setting me up.  What followed was amazing.  

First my head was measured to determine where the initial leads would be placed.  Next measurements were made from those to get the rest of the leads placed.  Each placement was preceded by the application of a substance that would enable the lead to stay in place.  I had at least a dozen leads on my head and some behind my ears and some on my face.  Each one of these was also accompanied by that stuff to help it hold.  I think either they thought I looked particularly greasy or they get paid by the gallon to use the goop.  I also had leads that were run down and taped to my legs.  By the time this was all done, I had more wires coming off of me than you see coming off the rockets fired from the space center.  All these wires were connected to a panel that I had to carry with me when I went to the bathroom.

To make a long story short, the study went as planned and the results will be available soon.  After all the leads were removed, I went into the bathroom to get dressed.  I looked in the mirror and could not believe what I saw.  With all that goop in my hair, it looked like a blind person had put hair gel on my head and then I slept on it.  Fortunately, I only ran into one person on my way out and based on the way her hair looked, she had no room to make any comments.  At least mine was not intentional.

So that is how I started the new year.  It looks like the fun will just keep happening.  By the way, Happy New Year to you all.