Today is Sunday,  October 2 and there are only 53 days until Thanksgiving, so you might want to get that turkey out and start thawing it.  Today we remember the birthdays of Mohandas K Gandhi, Spanky McFarland and Don McLean.  On this day in 1535 Jacques Cartier discovered Mount Royal, in 1935 the Hayden Planetarium opened and in 1967 Thurgood Marshall was sworn in as the first black Supreme Court Justice.  In Guinea it is Independence Day, in India it is Gandhi Jayanti and in the US it is National Fried Scallops Day and National Name Your Car Day (just please, PLEASE do not name it Brad).

What I would like to know is why doesn’t the food you receive in restaurants ever look as good as it does in commercials.  I am talking about fast food places mainly.  You see the commercial and the food they show you looks great.  The burger sits there looking juicy and delicious.  The ketchup shows just enough to let you know it is there, the cheese is melting and the bacon looks like an entire pound is piled in there.  You see the commercial and your mouth waters and you want to run right out and buy one.  Then you go to the actual restaurant and the only resemblance to what you saw on TV is that both restaurants have the same name.

The actual burger is not served on a nice puffy, shiny bun.  It is squashed down so that it is only about an inch high.  You have to dismantle the whole thing to see if you got what you ordered and to see if everything is there that should be.  The only way the ketchup shows is f they slopped it on the outside of the bun.  When you look for the bacon, you are lucky to find two actual slices.  I went to a place recently that didn’t even wrap the sandwich completely.  So the grease leaked out through the bag.  Fortunately, I put the bag on the center console which is plastic and easier to clean than the leather seat would have been.  When I got home I had to rebuild the burger and it looked nothing like the ones on TV.

I understand that they want the food to look great in commercials so that you will be enticed into going there.  I do think that they could make an effort in the place to at least make the food look edible.  On the flip side, I have seen commercials for restaurants where the food looks so bad that I would not even think about going there to eat.  And again I cannot help but wonder – doesn’t anyone review this stuff before they put it out?  I still cannot believe that these people are getting paid big money for this junk.  It is a shame this “don’t care too much” attitude didn’t exist when I was working.  It would have made things a lot easier for me.

Moving on, I had promised that I would get out and about so that I would have things to tell you about.  I had the opportunity to go to the mall recently and the fun started while I was still in the parking lot.  I was driving around looking for a place to park and thought I had spotted an opening.  Fortunately, I was going slow and paying attention.  As I got closer and prepared to pull into the space, I realized it was occupied by one of those little smart cars.  I moved on and found another space.  As I was walking to the mall, another car saw the same space and pulled in, driving right into the small car already there.

There are two things at play here.  One is that the smart car driver should not have pulled the car all the way into the space.  The driver should have realized that the car was shorter than the other cars and not pulled in as far, making it easier to see the car.  Obviously just because your car is smart doesn’t mean you have to be.  The other thing is that the other driver should have been paying attention and driving as if they were in a parking lot and not the Daytona Speedway.  I was able to see the car and not drive into it.  Why couldn’t she?  I am sure we know why, so I won’t bother going into it.

Once in the mall, I was able to get my coffee and wander around enjoying the sights.  At the risk of repeating myself, let me just say that I am amazed at what people think looks good when they go out in public.  There were people there wearing things that I would not wear when I am home alone.  I saw one couple that were obviously looking for Walmart.  People, when you are going out, give some thought to what you are putting on.  Just because you like the red, green, blue and yellow flowered blouse and you like the red and white checked pants doesn’t mean they should be worn together.  Yes, I saw that.  I also saw a woman who looked like she had been painting and working in her garden and then got in her car and went shopping.  At least brush some of the dirt off before going into Lord and Taylor.

I do want to commend one man that I saw in one of the stores as I was walking through the women’s section on my way to the men’s department.  A woman I am assuming was his wife came out of a changing room in an outfit and asked him how it looked.  You could tell by the way she said it that she was pleased with it.  I don’t know if he is always honest or he was just tired or what his reason was, but he told her that it looked terrible.  He said the color was not right for her and the outfit made her look big.  She looked at him for a couple seconds and went back into the room.  I would loved to have been able to hear the conversation on the way home.  I am always ready to learn new profanity.

I came across this week’s fact and when I read it I knew I had to use it.  I have nothing to add.

At Arkansas State University two people cannot hold hands while standing in a doorway unless they belong to a union.

Whaaaaaat?

Today is Sunday, September  25 and there are only 91 days until Christmas.  Time to start baking!  Today we remember the birthdays of Olaus Rimer, William Faulkner and Dimitri Shostakovich.  On this day in 1493 Columbus sailed on his second voyage to America, in 1789 Congress proposed the Bill of Rights and in 1981 Sandra Day O’Connor was sworn in as the first female Supreme Court justice.  In Rwanda it is Government Day and in the US it is National Comic Book Day, Math Storytelling Day(I hope you have some good stories for today, Pat) and National Gold Star Mother’s Day.

First off, in my ongoing effort to keep you educated regarding little known national days, let me give you information on the Gold Star Mothers.  The organization was founded by Grace Darling Seibold of Washington, DC.  When the US entered WWI in 1917, Grace’s son George volunteered, requesting an aviation assignment.  Because the US did not have an Air Force at that time, Seibold deployed to England and was assigned to the British Royal Flying Corps.  George corresponded with his family regularly, but then the mail from him stopped.  Because he was under British control and authority, the US could not help the family with any information.  On October 11, 1918, George’s wife in Chicago received a box marked “Effects of deceased officer 1st Lt George Seibold.”

Grace, convinced that self-contained grief was self-destructive, devoted her time and efforts to supporting mothers whose sons had lost their lives in military service.  She organized a group consisting solely of those mothers, with the purpose of not only comforting each other, but giving loving care to hospitalized veterans confined in government hospitals far from home.

The organization was named after the Gold Star that families hung in their windows in honor of a deceased veteran.  After years of planning, 25 mothers met in Washington, DC, on June 4, 1928, to establish the national organization, American Gold Star Mothers.

I think we can now safely close the Useless Information file for this week and move on.  As many of you either know or have surmised, I am a big fan of Christmas.  I love the music, the special foods that we only make when it is Christmas (a subject we will discuss another time), all the great cookies, the special movies, etc.  Having said that, even I have to say that I think stores are pushing it a little too much.

We are still in September, Halloween and Thanksgiving are still ahead of us.  And yet, the other day I was in a store that has all the decorations out for sale.  Really?  I understand that they want to get a jump on the season, but couldn’t they wait until November?  At this rate, by the time I am ready to buy Christmas cards it will be too late.  The Easter cards will already be out.  Please slow down a little.  Let’s get past at least Halloween before we rush into Christmas.  We already ignore Thanksgiving, let’s not take Halloween from the kids.  They wait all year for a chance to get bags of candy and start the trek toward Type 2 Diabetes.  Don’t confuse them by putting out Christmas stuff.  They may think they missed Halloween.

I have noticed recently that there is a disease that must be particularly virulent because there are at least three different medications out to combat psoriasis, but only moderate to severe, of course.  Except for the name of the drugs, there does not seem to be a whole lot of difference between them.  They all show clearing skin in a short time.  Their commercials all show people who have the affliction being shunned by society until they take this most recent miracle drug.  They all have a list of side affects that include suicidal thoughts, swelling, infections (be tested for TB before taking the drug), a desire to bay at the full moon, a need to swim in cold water and an almost insatiable urge to eat Swedish fish.  Is the psoriasis market so big that three drugs can compete successfully?  Is this the same drug, only redone to solve issues in the first two manifestations?  Ask your doctor which one is right for you, but only if you actually have moderate to severe psoriasis.

I know I have mentioned this before, but I wanted to bring it up again, simply because it has occurred several times recently and I have a hard time understanding why it happens.  Maybe someone can explain it to me.  I am driving along the highway and suddenly, traffic comes to a halt.  We slowly make our way along for a mile or so and then everything opens up.  Why did we stop?  A policeman had pulled a car over.

That’s all.  No big accident, no stray circus animal wandering on the highway, no naked woman standing there waving.  Just a cop and a car.  Maybe they took my advice and watched the TV show Cops and were hoping to see some kind of chase or a shootout or something.  The worst was the other day when there was only a police car.  Apparently, whoever he had stopped was gone and he just hadn’t turn his flashing lights off yet, so we all had to slow down and look at him.  People, you do not have to slow down to look, you have to drive.  If you aren’t careful you may end up on a different TV show – “Trauma: Life in the ER”

This week our fact tells us that a cow gives nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.  Depending on the size of the glass that could be a really impressive number.  But speaking of cows, let me ask this question.  When a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?

Today is Sunday, September  18 and there are only 98 days until Christmas.  Yes, we are under a hundred days and I will bet that most of you have no idea what you are getting for your family and friends yet.  You’d better start planning!  Today we remember the birthdays of George Read, Claudette Colbert and Frankie Avalon.  On this day in 1755 Fort Ticonderoga opened, in 1851 the NY Times started publishing and in 1965 “Get Smart” premiered.  In Chile today is Independence Day, in the US Constitution Week started yesterday and today is National Cheeseburger Day.

Constitution Week!  What is that?  I'm glad you asked.  Constitution Week is the commemoration of America’s most important document.  The United States Constitution stands as a testament to the tenacity of Americans throughout history to maintain their liberties, freedoms and inalienable rights.  This is from the Daughters of the American Revolution, who created this commemoration.

In 1955, the DAR petitioned Congress to set aside September 17-23 annually to be dedicated for the observance of Constitution Week.  The resolution was later adopted by the US Congress and signed into public law on August 2, 1956 by President Dwight D Eisenhower.

The aims of Constitution Week are, again according to the DAR, to emphasize citizens’ responsibilities for defending the Constitution, to inform people that the Constitution is the basis for America’s great heritage and the foundation for our way of life and to encourage the study of the historical events which led to the framing of the Constitution in September, 1787.

I know I said last week that I was going to get out and have experiences that were worthy of discussing with you.  I did not.  I wanted to and I tried to, but circumstances, a trip to the lawyer’s office and other things prevented me from doing so.  I did have one experience that I can share.  The other evening I was out at the grocery store.  When I got into my car to come home, the dashboard informed me that the pressure in my right rear tire was low.  I was unconcerned because the tire was not flat, I had a short ride home and I had a compressor in the garage so that I could bring the pressure up to the correct level.

When I got home, I got the compressor out and tried to pump the tire up.  Unfortunately, the compressor decided to make several unsettling noises and then emitted a smell that told me it was not going to be a viable tool in my garage.  Exhibiting, once again, my skill with profanity I dumped the useless machine in the garbage.  Fortunately, not too far away, is a gas station that has an air pump that is free.  Understand, I am not cheap, but I do have a problem with having to pay for air.  It is all around us!  Why should I have to … but I digress.

Anyway, I loaded up on free air and then went to one of the large DIY box stores to replace the compressor.  I went into the store and started looking around for what I wanted.  Not finding it in the areas I thought it might be, I asked one of the employees working in the general vicinity where I might find an air compressor.  He directed me to a section that had compressors that were so large I would not be able to fit one in my car.  I explained that I was looking for something much smaller.  I wanted something that could be used for car tires, bike tires, sports balls, etc.

He gave me a look that I am sure was supposed to assure me that he was thinking.  I was not confident, but waited patiently for his response.  He looked around at the large compressors and said, “I don’t think we have what you are talking about.  These are the only ones that I am aware of and I have been here for three years now.”  With that he began his backward shuffle so that he could get away before I could ask him if he was sure.  I did not believe that they didn’t have what I wanted, so I tried a few other areas that might have them and found exactly what I was looking for.

I then went looking for the veteran employee.  When I found him, I held up the box and said, “I found what I was looking for.  Not only do you have them, but you have several different brands to choose from.  And I have only been here for 10 minutes.”  He was not amused.

I promise that I will spend some time at the mall this week so that I can share my observations with you.

This week our fact tells us that the Cosmos contains approximately 50,000,000,000 galaxies.  First of all, who cares?  In the greater scheme of things, how does that make it easier for me to pay for food and property taxes and fuel for my car and other necessities?  Why did we spend the time and money to find that out.  More importantly, how do we know that is true?  For all we know, somebody decided that, based on what he could see, that was a reasonable assumption.  After all, who was going to stand outside some evening and count the galaxies to confirm that number?

Go eat a couple cheeseburgers, read the Constitution and have a good week.

Today is Sunday, September 11 and there are only 105 days until Christmas so start wrapping presents, writing out cards and composing those Christmas letters.  Today we remember the birthdays of O Henry, Charles Evers and Brian DePalma.  On this day in 1789 Alexander Hamilton was appointed Secretary of the Treasury, in 1875 the first newspaper cartoon strip was published and in 1950 the Dick Tracy TV show sparked an uproar concerning violence.  In Ethiopia it is the New Year, in Pakistan it is Jinnah Day and in the US it is National Grandparents Day, National Hot Cross Bun Day and Patriot Day, observed as the National Day of Service and Remembrance.

The National Day of Service and Remembrance occurs each year on September 11 in memory of the 2,977 people killed in the 2001 September 11 attacks.  A bill to make September 11 a national day of mourning was introduced in the US House on October 25, 2001.  The bill designated the day as Patriot Day.  Joint Resolution71 passed the House by unanimous vote.  The bill passed the Senate unanimously on November 30.  President Bush signed the resolution into law on December 18, 2001.  The flag of the United States is flown at half-staff on all government buildings and establishments throughout the world.  Additionally, a moment of silence is observed to correspond with the attacks, beginning at 8:46 AM eastern, the time the first plane, American Airlines Flight 11, struck the North Tower of the World Trade Center.

This was the day when four jet planes were hijacked and two crashed in the New York World Trade Center and one into the Pentagon.  The fourth plane, United Airlines Flight 93, was directed at Washington, DC, but it's passengers bravely attempted to take back control and it crashed into a field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania.  In the wake of the World Trade Center collisions, many brave men and women from the emergency services risked their lives to try to rescue victims of the attacks, and of them 411 lost their own lives attempting to fight fires and rescue people.

At that time, my house had a great view of the New York skyline, including the Empire State Building and the World Trade Center.  My son was at my house that day with my first grandson who had just been born in June.  Standing on our front porch my son saw one of the buildings collapse.  It was disturbing to go out for the next couple days and watch the columns of smoke rise into the air.  We could also hear and see the airplanes on their approach into Newark Airport everyday.  Suddenly, there were no planes flying and the silence was far more disturbing than the noise from the planes.  It was a terrible time for everyone and a time we should never forget.  Please do not let this day fade into obscurity as the years pass.  If you have a flag, put it at half-staff.  If possible, observe a moment of silence at 8:46 AM, eastern.

As an aside, it should be obvious why nothing ever gets done in this country.  It took 44 days for a resolution declaring 9/11 a National Day of Mourning to be introduced in the US House.  It took another 36 days for the Senate to pass it and then another 18 days for the president to sign it.  Why?  I can understand that it took some time to recover from the shock of the attack and to write the bill, but 44 days?  The Senate passed it unanimously 36 days later.  What took so long?  The vote was unanimous so there probably wasn’t much argument.  While this was all going on, someone had to have told the president about it.  He should have been ready to sign it the same day it was passed.  Instead, it took him another 18 days to get around to it.  Now you can see why things take so long to happen.

I do not have much else to discuss this week.  I did not get out too much as I have been dealing with estate paperwork and stuff.  I also spent a couple days at my son’s house doing some work around there.  The benefit to working there is that I can come and go when I feel like it.  They are pleased to have me do stuff for them and I am happy to still be able to do the gardening and stuff for them.  I know, it was hot and I shouldn’t be doing hard, outdoor work, but it was not that bad.

I have worked on a grounds crew at a golf course and done landscaping in a cemetery.  I was also a jet engine mechanic in the Air Force, including a year in Vietnam, so I know how to sweat and work outdoors.  The benefit of working at my son’s is there is no deadline, they have a shaded deck and plenty of cold water in the fridge.  I get there when I feel like it and leave when I am tired.  A good deal if you ask me.

I will try and get out this week so I have new things to discuss.

This week our fact tells us that a person eats around 60,000 pounds worth of food during a lifetime which is the equivalent of six elephants.  Most holidays I feel like I have consumed my lifetime limit in one day.

Please take a moment to observe Patriot Day, a National Day of Service and Remembrance.
God bless America!

Today is Sunday, September 4 and there are only 68 days until my birthday.  Please feel free to contact me regarding gift ideas.  And by the way, Christmas is only 44 days after that!  Today we remember the birthdays of Marcus Whitman, Paul Harvey and Craig Claiborne.  On this day in 1609 navigator Henry Hudson discovered the island of Manhattan, in 1888 George Eastman patented the first roll-film camera and in 1957 the Ford Motor Company introduced the Edsel.  It is National Wildlife Day and National Macadamia Nut Day.  Tomorrow is Labor Day here in the US.

While many consider Labor Day to be the end of summer, the end doesn’t actually arrive until 15 days later, this year.  For all those kids who are back in school and who had to help close up their pools, it is difficult to believe that summer has not ended, but it has not.  So be sure to go out and enjoy those last few days of summer, once you have finished your homework.

For those of you who were wondering, Labor Day is a creation of the Labor Movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers.  The first governmental recognition came through municipal ordinances during 1885 and 1886.  The first state bill was introduced into the New York legislature, but the first to become law was passed by Oregon on February 21, 1887.  During that year four more states created the Labor Day holiday by legislative enactment.  By the end of the decade three more states followed suit and by 1894, 23 other states had adopted the holiday.  On June 28 of that year, Congress passed an act making the first Monday in September a legal holiday.

There is still some doubt as to who first proposed the holiday for workers.  Some records show that Peter J. McGuire, general secretary of the Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners was the first to suggest it.  However, many believe that Matthew Maguire, a machinist, founded the holiday.  Recent research seems to support the contention that Matthew Maguire proposed the holiday in 1882 while serving as secretary of the Central Labor Union in New York.  Either way, this is a topic that should make for some lively discussions at your Labor Day barbecues.

I know I said I was tired of talking about commercials, but this past week I started to wonder about something.  Doesn’t anyone ever have to actually prove the claims they make in these advertisements?  I have seen several phone companies claim that they are number one in a variety of areas.  There are at least three who claim to be first in customer satisfaction.  Now I have not done the research, but is it possible that there was a three-way tie for first?  Or is it more likely that two of the companies are confused or just lying?

You see this with a lot of different companies – beer, cars, mattresses, clothing, makeup, etc.  Shouldn’t you have to back up your claims and be able to prove them to someone before you can air the commercial?  Obviously no company wants to say, “We ranked fourth in customer service, but we try real hard and generally don’t swear at you while you are on the phone.”  But if you cannot show data that proves you are number one, can you say you are?  Don’t tell me that you are number one, just give me the product at a decent price and let me determine how good you are by myself.  By the way, I am still sick of insurance commercials and that’s all I am going to say about that.
Generally, I try not to mention companies, stores, TV shows or other things by name because I don’t want to create issues for them or me, but I am going to name one show.  The reason for this is not to complain or make disparaging remarks about the show, but to address a different matter.  I watch the TV show Cops and the one thing that strikes me constantly is the stupidity of the suspects.  One incident showed a person being taken into custody by police.  He was handcuffed and had three officers standing around him.  He decides to make a run for it.  Even the cops were amazed.  One asked him what his plan was, if he got away.  “You were handcuffed and we have your ID.  How did you think this was going to work out for you?”

I am constantly amazed at the number of people who are passengers in a car that is pulled over.  When questioned by police, they claim not to know the driver.  He or she just offered them a ride and they took it.  Or the driver who has no idea who the passenger is, they just asked for a ride and he said sure.  I am also amazed at the number of people who are driving cars that do not belong to them.  It belongs to a girlfriend, a cousin, a friend, a relative or whoever and they just never happen to have any ID or any paperwork on the car.  They say these things and then can’t understand why the officer has them get out of the car.

The ones that get me are the ones that take me back to when I was a kid.  My mother would catch me carrying cigarettes and would ask me what I was doing with them.  I always claimed they weren’t mine, that I was holding them for a friend.  I could never understand why she didn’t believe me.  I saw one episode where police pulled a car over because the driver ran a red light and almost hit a car.  When they walked up to talk to him, they saw an open backpack on the seat and saw several bags of marijuana in it.  When they asked him about it, he said it wasn’t his and that his friend must have left it in the car.  He couldn’t understand why the police didn’t believe him.  If stupidity entertains you, this is the show to watch.

This week our fact tells us that in Athens, Greece, a driver’s license can be taken away by law if the driver is deemed either unbathed or poorly dressed.  Can you imagine how many drivers would be taken off the road here in the US if they just enforced that law in Walmart parking lots?

Enjoy the holiday and have a good week.

Today is Sunday, August 28 and there are only 64 days until Halloween.  Time to get those costume ideas going, or take out a home equity loan to purchase one in one of the many stores that will start popping up soon.  Today we remember the birthdays of Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton, Bruno Bettelheim and Leroy Chiao.  On this day in 1609 Delaware Bay was explored by Henry Hudson, for the Netherlands, in 1907 United Parcel Service began service and in 1963 Martin Luther King Jr delivered his “I have a dream” speech at the Lincoln Memorial.  In Hong Kong it is the Festival of the Hungry Ghosts, in Mauritius it is Ganesh Chaturthi and in the US it is National Cherry Turnovers Day.

I always like to look at the National Days calendar to see if there is anything interesting going on.  I especially like when there are two good things for the same day.  As an example, a couple weeks ago I saw that there was a Saturday that was National Filet Mignon Day and National Prosecco Day.  I invited the family over and we had quite the evening.  Along with the steaks, I  made homemade French fries, done in peanut oil, corn on the cob and raspberry Tiramisu.  You don’t get those combinations very often so you have to take advantage when you can.

I have missed another notification.  I am going to have to start checking my e-mail more often.  Apparently there has been another change made in the way we drive on highways.  I have noticed recently that as we fly along on the highway at 65 (or faster), when we see a sign telling us that our exit is coming up in one mile, we start to slow down to 50 or below.  Why?  I always thought that you didn’t start slowing down until you got into the actual exit lane.  I have noticed this new thing and am puzzled by it.  Annoyed, too, truth to tell.  I find it especially vexing when the person in front of me is getting off at my exit.

I saw a movie once where a car had a sign on the bumper connected to a microphone in the car that allowed the driver to say something and have it show on the sign.  If I had that on my car there are a number of people who would find out, once I passed them, that they are morons, or #&@%*!? Morons, sometimes.  Of course, if all cars had this there would then have to be road rage parks where cars could stop so drivers could express their discontent over things that were said … but I digress.

I understand that you do not want to miss your exit.  That is why they warn you that it is coming and why they have exit lanes clearly marked.  Generally, the exit lanes provide you with enough time to slow down so that you can safely get off the highway.  You don’t need to slow down before you get to the exit.  Please stop doing that, at least when you are getting off at my exits.

I really don’t have much to discuss this week.  I could go on about ridiculous commercials, but I do that more than I should as it is.  They continue to be ridiculous, not as amusing as the people who created think they are and even I am getting bored listening to me go on about it.  I have already complained about driving on the highway, another topic that I think I have overdone.  Other than that, I was not out too much this past week so I don’t really have much to discuss.

One thing I want to mention briefly is my experience with my younger grandson.  One of the local big do-it-yourself stores nearby does these clinics where kids can sign up to go and build projects.  They make different things and my grandson really enjoys them.  I like taking him and we have a good time.  He has gotten very good at following the directions and putting the various projects together.  At the first one we ever did, we did not follow the directions completely and ended up nailing part of the project to the table.  Fortunately, we were able to separate it from the table, make the correction and complete the project.

Nowadays, he does the work by himself and I just sort of stand around as a technical adviser.  One thing I will say is that you have no idea what it sounds like when there are 50 or 60 kids all tapping on nails with hammers at the same time.  If he wasn’t pretty quick with his project, it could get quite annoying.  He is very proud of the fact that he usually gets the thing done in the first 10 to 15 minutes.  What I find most interesting is watching the other parents and their kids do the projects.  We were at one of the clinics yesterday and one child was getting very annoyed with his father’s attempts to help him.  Finally, the boy said, “Dad, I got this.  Just be quiet and let me work.”  Once the father got out of the way the boy did pretty well.

I am amazed at the number of parents who are completely inept when it comes to doing these projects and even have a problem following the relatively simple instructions.  One time my grandson helped another boy figure out part of the instructions because the boy’s father was having trouble.  These projects all consist of wooden pieces that have to be nailed to one another to form a train or a car or a truck or, as in the most recent series, super heroes.  They are fun for the kids, help them develop DIY skills and they are provided by the store for free.

This week our fact tells us that, on an American one dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left corner of the “1” encased in the shield and a spider hidden in the front upper right hand corner.  Okay, now put you dollar bill back in your pocket and go enjoy a cherry turnover.

Today is Sunday, August 21 and there are only 96 days until Black Friday, the day when people have the opportunity to go out at 6 AM and act like crazies to buy gifts that they could get for half the price if they waited a week or so.  Today we remember the birthdays of Hubert Gautier, William “ Count” Basie and Dame Janet Baker.  On this day in 1680 the Pueblo Indians took possession of Santa Fe from the Spaniards, in 1841 John Hampson patented the venetian blind and in 1959 Hawaii became the 50th state.  Slow day for holidays with today being National Spumoni Day and National Senior Citizen Day.

I have, on a number of occasions, commented on people who back into parking spaces.  I always wonder why they feel it is necessary to do this. Realistically it is harder to back into a space properly than it is to back out of the space.  I also wonder what they are up to that they need to be pointing out for a quick getaway.  I am sure that they do not give much thought to what they are doing, they just feel the need to back into the space.  Well, this past week I had the rare opportunity to see the front and back end of one such adventure.

I had to go grocery shopping and had parked my car and was walking through the parking lot to the store when a guy pulled into the lane in his SUV and after three or four tries finally got his car backed into the space.  I spent some time in they store. It is still tough for me to find things in this store.  I am used to shopping in the store where I used to live and got to know that place well.  I have been going to this one for about a year and still do not know where everything is … but I digress.

I completed my mission, loaded my purchases into the car, put the cart in the drop off space and was heading to my car when I saw the SUV guy coming back to his car with a cart load of stuff.  I decided to watch to see how he was going to get his stuff loaded into his car.  What he did was he attempted to get his tail gate open, but couldn’t because the car behind him was too close.  So he climbed into his car, pulled it forward and then went and started loading his things.  What made it interesting was that he had to pull his car out so far that he was blocking the lane and cars could not get through.  One of the cars that was blocked was a police car.  The officer got out and informed the guy that he couldn't block the lane like that, made him close his gate and back into the space so that cars could get through.  I don’t know how it all worked out.  When I left the man and the officer were discussing his alternatives and the man did not appear happy.

I have had an ongoing rant against people who do not speak the English language properly.  What bothers me the most is when they are reading something and still say it incorrectly.  One recent example is a commercial I saw for a phone network.  The person was listing features and he said ekcetera.  If you are reading from a script and you see the word et cetera, why would you add the letter “k”?  I hear people do this all the time and have never been able to figure out why they do it.  I have also heard people add a k to the word especially and say ekspecially.  I realize that in the greater scheme of things adding a k where it does not need to be is not a terrible thing, but why do people do it?  I don’t mean to be picky, well, actually I do mean to be picky.  We have enough problems understanding why a word like laughter is pronounced differently when you add an s to the beginning – slaughter – without people adding letters that are not even there.

Okay, now a brief comment on another of my favorite rants, commercials.  I saw one the other evening that showed people swimming in a pool in a tropical setting.  The voice over said that “If palm trees could talk, I think they would speak Spanish.”  Palm trees come from Africa, Asia, the Pacific Islands and North America.  Why would they speak Spanish?  The weird thing is that the commercial was not for anything from Spain.  Or it may have been and I was not paying attention.

One last thing I wanted to discuss was a wake I went to the other evening.  The mother of a friend of mine passed away and I went to the wake.  One thing I noticed was that when a single individual comes in, expresses sympathy to the family and then sits down by himself, he attracts attention.  I did not know most of the people in the room, so when I came in, I spoke to my friend and his wife, expressed my condolences and then went and sat down.  The place was crowded with family and friends and there were a number of people standing.

All do a sudden, I noticed people starting to leave.  Someone who had been looking at me curiously came over and said, “The priest just got here.”  That explained the fact that suddenly the room was not so crowded and there were places to sit.  Why is it that people take off when the priest shows up?  Generally, the priest says a few prayers and then leaves.  Why do people feel they have to run out before he gets started?  Are they afraid that between the wake and the funeral they might get too much religion?

Another thing I want to mention is that while at the funeral home I needed to use the rest room.  I went downstairs, found the room and went in.  As I was standing at the urinal I had the time to look around and I noticed that the wallpaper was a design that consisted of all heads of pretty young women.  If it weren't for the fact that there was a urinal, I might have thought I was in the wrong room.  What would possess a funeral home to use that design in the first place and why in the men’s room?  I got done and out of there as soon as possible.  I don’t like being watched when I go.  Especially by a wall full of women.

This week our fact tells us that from 1725-1765 a Russian peasant woman had 69 children.  She gave birth to 16 sets of twins, 7sets of triplets, 4 sets of quadruplets, having a headache as an excuse for avoiding sex and the invention of the condom.

Go have some Spumoni, love a senior citizen and have a nice week.