It is Sunday, January 24 and Valentine’s Day is only three weeks away.  Have you guys even thought about what to get your sweetheart?  Get moving!  Today we remember the birthdays of Publius A Hadrianus, Adam Jacoby Slemmer and Jerry Maren.   On this day in 1848 James Marshall found gold in Sutter’s Mill in Coloma, CA, in 1922 the Eskimo Pie was patented by Christian K Nelson of Iowa and in 1984 Apple Computer, Inc. unveiled its Macintosh personal computer.  In Bolivia, the Aymara Indians are having the Alacitis Fair.

Let me start by saying that the lovely Elaine has returned home and is resting comfortably.  She still has a way to go so keep good thoughts.  We have weathered (do you see what I did there) the storm nicely.  I cannot tell you how nice it is to look out the window, see all that snow and know that someone else is going to clean it up and I don’t have to worry about it.  I will admit that I was reluctant to move into a 55+ community, but after this storm, I have come to realize how nice it really is.  Yes, we pay fees to have that done, but it is worth it.  To those of you who still have to do your own shoveling, my condolences.

Is it me or do people seem to be getting dumber lately?  I read an article in the newspaper the other day, yes I still read the newspaper, about a car accident.  The article stated that the vehicle left the road, hit some landscape stones, went airborne, struck a fire hydrant and flipped over.  It said that officials were investigating to see if high speed was involved.  Really?  That would be like saying that a house burned to the ground and officials were investigating to see if flames were involved.  If you were going even 45 mph and hit landscaping stones, chances are you would come to an abrupt halt.  I am guessing that the landscaping stones involved were not pebbles, but rather sizable rocks.  Even so you would have to moving at a pretty good clip to go airborne.

Here is another example of what I am talking about.  I was out on the highway driving along when suddenly the cars in front of me slowed down.  They were doing the speed limit, but they slowed down.  Why?  I’m glad you asked.  They slowed down because a police car had someone stopped on the side of the road.  As soon as they had passed the car, they went back to doing the speed limit.  First of all, if you are doing the speed limit, why would you slow down?  You are allowed to do the limit.  Second, if the trooper has stopped someone and is dealing with them, the chances that he would notice you, even if you were going a little over the limit, are slim.  If you are flying along at 100 mph you might get his attention, but generally he is busy with the car he stopped.

Also on the highway, recently, I noticed that traffic was slowing down in all lanes.  I thought that I had caught up to rush hour traffic or that an accident had occurred.  Nope!  We were all slowing down because there was a line of traffic getting off at an exit.  The traffic was in an exit lane and not affecting the rest of us at all, but for some reason we had to slow down.  Apparently people do not usually see a line of cars getting off at an exit and slowed down to observe the phenomenon.  That was also the trip where I got caught behind a truck that thought that the middle lane was a great place to plod along at 50 mph when the speed limit was 65!

At the hospital where the lovely Elaine was, they had an automatic revolving door.  I am sure you have seen them.  They continuously revolve and all you have to do is step in and walk as the door moves around.  Usually the space is large enough for at least two people to go in.  One day as I was walking up to the door, there was a man was just ahead of me.  He got to the door and asked a woman why she was still there?  “I dropped you off five minutes ago.  Why haven’t you gone in?”  She told him she was waiting for the door to stop so that she could enter.  Just then another couple came up, walked in and entered the hospital.  The man told her it was an automatic door and that it didn’t stop, “Just like all the other times we have come here.”  I entered the door and went into the hospital at that point so I am not sure what happened.  They were not there several hours later when I left so he either got her to go in or they gave up and went home.

The next time you go out somewhere, watch the people around you and see if you agree with me.  People are getting dumber.  Or, they have been dumb for some time and I am only noticing it more now.  Either way, it can be entertaining.  Do like I do.  Get a cup of coffee or tea, sit somewhere and just watch the show.  Pay attention to conversations in stores.  You would be amazed at what you might hear.  I know I usually am.

This week our fact tells us that $283,200 is the absolute highest amount of money you can win on Jeopardy.  That is one of the reasons I don’t go on the show.  I hate being restricted.  That and I don’t like Alex Trebeck.

It is Sunday, January 17 and there are only 343 days until Christmas.  Now is the time to start shopping because there are all kinds of bargains being offered.  Today we remember the birthdays of Philip the Bold, Benjamin Franklin and Nevil Shute.  On this day in 1773 Capt. James Cook became the first to cross the Antarctic Circle, in 1861 the flush toilet, with separate water tank and pull chain, was patented by Thomas Crapper and in 1969 the debut album of Led Zeppelin was released in the US.  In Poland it is Liberation Day and tomorrow it will be Lee-Jackson Day in Virginia and Martin Luther King Jr Day in the US.

I really do not have much of anything for you this week.  The lovely Elaine is still in the hospital and I have been spending my time with her.  There is one thing I did notice in the hospital.  In the entry from the parking lot, they have one of those solar powered trash cans.  The only problem that I can see is that the can is indoors and does not receive any sunlight.  H-m-m-m-m.

I am sorry that I do not have more for you, but this past week has been a bit stressful.  I will try to do better in the coming week.  I hope you will visit again.

This week our fact tells us that the average ear of corn has 800 kernels arranged in 16 rows.  Please let me know how many of you at least counted the rows to see if this is true.

It is Sunday, January 10 and there are only 76 days until Easter.  Time to eat last year’s peeps so you can make room for this year’s.    Today we remember the birthdays of Gasparo Visconti, George Washington Carver and Sal Mineo.  On this day in 49 BC Julius Cesar crossed the Rubicon and invaded Italy, in 1776 “Common Sense” by Thomas Paine was published and in 1910 the Lunt-Fontanne Theater opened at 205 W 46^th St, NYC.  In Switzerland it is the Meitlisunntig Festival.

I hope your new year is going well for you.  Quick show of hands – how many of you have already broken your resolutions for this year?  Our year has not started out too well.  The lovely Elaine is currently in the hospital.  I will not go into the details, but let me say that she is holding up as well as can be expected.  I did not; however, mention this to garner sympathy.  I brought it up as a means of discussing hospitals, in general.  I have gone on and on with this topic in the past, but feel like revisiting it again.

The first thing I wanted to mention is the parking garage at the hospital.  There are several things that I want to bring up.  One is that the parking is free!  I know!  Whoever heard of that?  The reason for that is that a local car dealership supports the garage and gives the parking away for free.  Even better, if you buy a car or truck from the family of dealerships and present your garage ticket, they will donate $100 to the Healthcare Foundation connected to the hospital.  I was amazed when I first saw this.  I almost wanted to go buy a car from them, but the lovely Elaine said I had just gotten a new car a couple months ago and could not get another one.

Moving on, I noticed something this time, in the garage, that I had not seen during our last foray in to the hospital.  They have a speed limit posted.  I agree with posting a speed limit sign even though we all know that no one ever obeys the limit.  We also know, or figure out rather quickly, that there is generally no one in the garage to enforce the limit.  The reason I even bring this up is because of the limit itself.  The posted speed limit for the parking garage is 12 MPH.  I could understand if you set it at 10 or 15, because you could look at your speedometer and see how much over the limit you were.  When it is set at 12, there is really no way to know if you are doing the limit.  We all know that anyone over 75 actually tries to obey any posted rule, so they will do their best to only go 12 MPH.  Unfortunately, most speedometers are done in increments of 5, so anyone trying to follow the rule will have a difficult time.  All I can say is try not to get stuck behind one of those older seniors.

I know I have mentioned it before, but I feel like I want to briefly bring it up again.  Here is the picture – it is 5 AM and we are sitting in the examining room in the ER.  We have given the admitting nurse the reason why we are there.  Why is it that when the doctor comes in he always says, “So how are you doing today?”  Did you not read the chart before coming in?  You should already know how the person is doing today.  I always want to reply, “I’m fine.  I just like going to the hospital very early in the morning and thought this would be a good day to do it.”  The lovely Elaine always gives me the look right after the doctor says that and just before I have a chance to respond.  One of these days, though …

Another amazing thing that we have experienced, at least so far, is that there is no yeller this time.  Over the years, we have spent a lot of time in hospitals.  Between my visits, the lovely Elaine’s, my parents and her parents, we have logged a considerable number of hours in those facilities.  Each time, there was always at least one person who spent a fair amount of time yelling for something.  There was one guy who kept yelling for Gloria.  We never did find out who Gloria was, but she was apparently someone that he really needed.  When he wasn’t yelling for her, he was calling out that he needed help because “I got the diarrhea in here!”

We have heard people calling out for a nurse because they needed help, because they were hungry, they wanted to leave or they wanted to get up.  The person that wanted to get up was told by a nurse that she couldn’t get up because she had a broken leg and had to keep it in a sling.  We have heard things like, “Can someone come help me?  I need help.  Can someone please come help me?”  When asked by a nurse what she needed help with her reply was simply, “I just need help.”  We have heard people complain about having to go to the bathroom, wanting to change beds, needing to get something else to eat because they did not like what they had ordered, needing more blankets, less blankets and on and on.  I think that if some of the people who have become nurses had spent any amount of time on a regular hospital floor, they might have made a career change.

This week our fact tells us that by raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.  Of course if you are lying on your back, with your legs raised, you cannot move to get of quicksand, either.  My advice would be to simply stay out of quicksand.

So, as I said, the lovely Elaine is in the hospital and we are hoping for a rapid, good resolution to her affliction.  If you get a chance, please say a quick prayer for her.  Thank you.

It is Sunday, January 3 and there are only 42 days until Valentine’s Day.  The candy and decorations are already out in the stores, so get busy shopping.  Today we remember the birthdays of William Tucker, Lucretia Coffin Mott and George Martin.  On this day in 1777 Washington defeated the British at the Battle of Princeton, in 1831 the first US building and loan association was organized, in Frankford, PA, and in 1958 Edmund Hillary reached the South Pole, overland.  It is Admission Day in Alaska.

Happy New Year!  I hope you all had a great holiday.  We spent New Year’s Eve quietly this year.  We did not go out anywhere because it seems that as our friends get older, they have less inclination toward celebrating something that requires you to stay awake until midnight.  We were fine with that for the same reason.  The lovely Elaine and I felt that we were good just staying awake long enough to watch the ball drop.  Shortly after it was over, after we had wished each other a happy New Year (our 45^th New Year’s Eve together), she sent texts to our friends and spoke to our son on the phone and then went to bed.  I followed a short time later.  I needed to have my strength up so that I could sit, drink my coffee and watch the Rose parade in the morning.

I have been reading articles in the paper that have been telling me about the best and worst of a number of things for 2015.  That is one of the drawbacks to reaching the end of the year.  Everyone feels it is necessary to rehash all the things that we have dealt with throughout the year.  It just seems to me that once something has happened and we have dealt with it, we should let it go and move on.  When we get to this time of the year, I am always reminded of George Carlin and his character, The Hippy-Dippy Weatherman.  His year-end weather report was:

“The year started out cold and we had wind and some snow.  Then it started to warm up a little and flowers grew and trees got leaves.  Then it got really hot and there were some thunder storms.  Then things started to cool down, the flowers died and the leaves fell of the trees.  Then it started to get really cold again.  And it looks like next year will be more of the same.”

Every year you hear people talking about making resolutions.  They resolve to lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, get more exercise, be nicer to people and on and on.  In the past I have made resolutions that I knew would be simple to keep.  I resolved things like no longer saying, “You go girl” to myself and things like that.  This year I decided to not even waste my time.  I could have resolved to eat better, being mindful of my diabetes or to make sure that I walked every day, but that would have been a waste of time.  Shortly after midnight, as I was mindlessly watching TV, I went to the kitchen and got myself some cookies to celebrate the new year.  When I got up this morning, I was still suffering from the lingering effects of a cold I have dealing been with and decided not to walk.  There are two resolutions shot before the new year was even 12 hours old.  Oh well.

Realistically, I have always felt that the whole New Year’s resolution thing was a bit silly.  If you feel that you need to lose weight, why wait until January 1 to start working on it.  You should start when you look in the mirror or step on the scale and realize you need to do something.  If you get on the scale on November 3^rd and think, “O-o-h, I really need to do something about my weight,” why would you wait two months to get started?  If you need to do something, do it.  You can always resolve to continue doing it in the new year.

We are now coming into the time of year when there are a number of things happening all at the same time.  We still have the car companies trying to convince us to buy a new car.  Pretty soon we will have the faux Washingtons and Lincolns selling us everything from toothpaste to clothing to jewelry to – yep, you guessed it – cars.  Mixed in with all of that we will have jewelers and candy companies and florists wanting us to spend money on stuff for our valentines, too.   And of course the car dealers will want you to buy your valentine a car.  

I have asked this question in the past and have yet to get a good answer, but here goes.  You have been dating the same person for almost a year and have decided, in a fit of magnanimity, to succumb to the ads and buy that person a car.  If that person decides that the two of you are done, for whatever reason, a day or two later, do they have to give the car back?

My advice is to not worry about buying things for Presidents Day.  If you are buying something for your valentine, there are two ways to go.  If you are a female, you can buy the guy pretty much anything.  Buy him a tool, a six pack of artisan beer, or anything with a scantily clad woman on it and he will be happy.  

If you are a male, be very, very careful.  Buy her flowers and a small piece of jewelry like earrings.  Buy her a nice bracelet and a small box of a special kind of candy (preferably something you know she will like) or something else that shows you put some thought into it.  You can also get her a gift card to a spa.  Do not, let me repeat this, DO NOT buy her something useful.  This is a day to show her how special she is.  Make the gift something she will remember fondly, not something she will talk about followed by the phrase, “… the jerk.”  As that day draws closer, we will revisit this advice.

This week our fact tells us that the average person spends 12 weeks a year “looking for things.”  The lovely Elaine and I have beaten that just since we moved into our new house.  There are some things we still have not located, but know they are around somewhere.

Have a great 2016!