It is Sunday, November 15 and there are only 11 days until Thanksgiving.  You should have started thawing the turkey by now if you want it ready to cook by then.  And hey, don’t forget to take the bag of organs out before you cook it.  Today we remember the birthdays of Sir William Herschel, Georgia O’Keeffe and Mantovani.  On this day in 1777 the Articles of Confederation were adopted by the Continental Congress, in 1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike sighted Pike’s Peak and in 1920 the League of Nations held its first meeting, in Geneva.  In Belgium it is King’s Day, in Brazil it is Republic Day and in Japan it is 7-5-3 Festival Day.

For those of you who are wondering, the Articles of Confederation was the first written constitution of the United States.  Stemming from wartime urgency, its progress was slowed by fears of central authority and extensive land claims by states before was it was ratified on March 1, 1781. Under these articles, the states remained sovereign and independent, with Congress serving as the last resort on appeal of disputes.  Congress was also given the authority to make treaties and alliances, maintain armed forces and coin money.  However, the central government lacked the ability to levy taxes and regulate commerce, issues that led to the Constitutional Convention in 1787 for the creation of new federal laws.  So you can see that even back then the government wanted more control.  I hope you will find this information useful the next time you are at a party making small talk.

Big news!  The stairs have been completed.  The permit has been signed off.  Now we just have to wait for the town to give the CO and then we are completely done with the old house and can move on.  I know you are all waiting to hear about the experiences we had in getting all this taken care of, but it will have to wait until everything is official.  I do not want to take the slightest chance that something I write could screw things up.  Stay tuned.

This past week, I celebrated the 36^th anniversary of my 30^th birthday.  People always ask how it feels to be whatever age you are.  I always tell them I don’t know, I just got there.  I am not really sure how I feel.  Part of me never expected to ever be this old.  When you were a kid, you thought about being over 60 and you figured that if you got there you would be an old, decrepit guy with no hair, hearing aids, and a cane or walker.  You pictured yourself wearing plaid shirts buttoned up to the collar and wearing pants with the waist band pulled up to just under your nipples.  I was always sure that I would be a nice old guy who had no teeth, couldn’t hear and just sat around waiting for my next trip to the bathroom.

As I matured (even though some would argue that I haven’t yet), I realized that I might not be as bad off as I originally thought.  True, I do not hear as well as I used to, but I am not ready for hearing aids yet.  While I do not have as much hair as I used to and some of it stops at my nose and my ears, I still have a decent amount and not all of it is gray.  I am nowhere near as bad as I thought I would be when I was a kid.  To be honest, when I was a kid I had a hard time thinking this far into the future.

When I was 12, there is no way you would have convinced me that I would see the turn of the century.  “The year 2000?  Are you kidding?  I’ll be dead long before that happens.”  I don’t know if I was just dumb or if I really believed that I would not last that long.  It was hard to imagine, back in 1961 that I would ever experience something like that.  But here I am, 15 years past the turn.  I am 66 and still standing.  If I had known that I was going to make it this far, I might have taken better care of myself!

  But seriously, I still have a lot of things I want to do.  I intend to hang around for quite some time.  I think the key is to keep active.  They say that you are only as old as you feel.  While I do not feel like I am in my twenties, I also do not feel like I am in my eighties.  I actually feel like I am 66 and that’s a good thing.

This week I have a series of facts for you, more small talk fodder.  The average human bladder can hold 13 ounces of liquid.  This would explain my multiple trips to the bathroom on Veterans Day.  I had my usual two cups of coffee at breakfast.  Add to that three stops at various Starbucks because they were giving away free 12 ounce coffees to veterans.

The average person spends 12 weeks a year “looking for things.”  If the average person has just moved into a new home, like we did, they will spend more time than that just figuring out where they put stuff after they put it away.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.  I usually fall asleep as my head hits the pillow. 

The average American looks at eight houses before buying one.  Does that include the ones you view on-line?  We looked at a lot more than eight if it does.

The average US marriage lasts about 9.4 years.  The lovely Elaine and I have been married for over 42 years.  I guess we are above average.

The average North American will eat 35,000 cookies during their life span.  Please!  I beat that number a long time ago just eating the cookies my mother used to make at Christmas.

And finally, the average person spends about two years on the phone in a lifetime and most of that is done listening to lousy hold music and being told that my call is important.

It is Sunday, November 8 and there are only 47 days until Christmas (only 18 days until I can start playing Christmas music) so start digging out the cookie recipes and getting the baking pans ready.  Today we remember the birthdays of Sir Edmond Halley, Jerome Hines and Morley Safer.  On this day in 1789 Bourbon Whiskey was first distilled from corn by Elijah Craig in Bourbon, Kentucky, in 1895 Wilhelm Rontgen discovered x-rays and in 1983 Martha Layne Collins was elected the first female governor of Kentucky.  It is Admission Day in Montana.

Before I get into the various items I have to discuss this week, let me take a moment to be serious.  This Wednesday is Veterans Day.  When I was younger, it was a big deal.  Schools were closed and government offices closed down.  Towns held parades.  It also happens to be my birthday.  I used to tell the kids in our neighborhood that we got off from school and had a parade because it was my birthday.  They bought that line for several years … but I digress.

On the 11^th hour of the 11^th day of the 11^th month of 1918, an armistice was declared between the Allied nations and Germany in the First World War.  Commemorated as Armistice Day beginning the following year, November 11^th became a legal Federal holiday in the US in 1938.  In the aftermath of World War II and Korea, Armistice Day became Veterans Day.  On Wednesday, if you know a veteran or if you see one (you will know them by their caps or their jackets), take a moment to thank them for their service.  Not all of us did it voluntarily, but we all served nonetheless.  You would be surprised how much it means to be thanked for serving.

This past week was one of observations.  One of the things I observed was a sign on a truck.  If you have travelled on any highways lately, you have probably seen this sign at some point.  It is usually an orange sign on the back of a truck and it says, “Construction Vehicle.  Do not follow!”  I have seen it a number of times and have always wondered what it means.  Are there drivers out there who actually follow trucks?  Why?  What is it they hope to accomplish by following a truck?  If you know anyone who understands what those signs mean, please let me know.  I would love to find out.  Thanks!

I generally try to avoid driving behind trucks.  Being behind a truck makes it difficult to see what is going on in the road ahead of you.  Another thing to consider is tire debris.  We have all seen the huge pieces of tire lying in the road that have come off of a truck.  When a truck is going 60 or 70 miles an hour and a piece of tire flies off, it is going to do some major damage to whatever it hits.  I generally try to make sure it is not hitting me.  My recommendation is to not follow trucks as a general rule.  You might get hit by tire pieces or it might be a construction vehicle without a sign.

Things have settled down to a point where we actually had a chance to go to the mall recently.  While the lovely Elaine went shopping, I went to the Starbucks, got a cup of Thanksgiving blend and had a chance to do some people watching.  The place where I was sitting was near an escalator.  As I watched, I noticed a woman who was in quite a hurry to get to the bottom.  She pushed her way down the stairs, annoying several people in the process.  Since there is a food court on the level above, I thought that maybe she worked in one of the stores and was late getting back from lunch.  Whatever the reason, she was obviously in a hurry.  What made this episode unusual was when she got to the bottom.  She stepped off the escalator and stood to the side to wait for her friend who was apparently not in as big a hurry.  As the lovely Elaine has said many times, “You can’t make this stuff up.”

The place where I was sitting is a counter that has stools on either side.  It is right outside the Starbucks and has outlets for plugging in electronic devices.  Sitting near the end of the counter was a group of people enjoying their beverages.  As they conversed, there was one woman who was quieter than the others.  When she spoke, they had to keep asking her to repeat what she had said.  Generally, when she did she spoke a little louder.  The interesting part came when she got a call on her phone.  She would then start to talk loudly, causing people walking by to turn and look to see what the hollering was about. The response from her friends indicated that this was typical for her.  As soon as she finished a call she went back to being soft-spoken.

It reminded me of when the lovely Elaine first got a cell phone.  She used to speak rather loudly, too.  I pointed out to her that the person on the other end could hear her.  I reminded her that she was using a telephone not a megaphone.  It was not necessary to yell just because they were several miles away.  She has gotten better, but still tends to speak louder when on her cell phone.  

There was one other thing with the escalator that I thought was quite amusing.  There was a family with four kids – three girls and a boy.  The boy was content to sit and play whatever game console he had.  The parents were sitting, enjoying their coffee, but the little girls were getting restless.  The one girl said something to her mother, who nodded, and the girls walked over to the escalator.  They spent the next ten minutes riding the escalator.  They would go up to the top, get off, stand at the railing, wave to their parents and then ride back down.  When they reached the bottom, they would go up and repeat the process.  They had a great time, the parents had a respite, the son was oblivious and all was well. Ah, the joy of simplicity.

This week our fact tells us that the average American spends six months at red lights throughout his or her life.  And yet, when the light turns green, you still have to beep to get them to go.  Does that figure into the six month thing or is that only for when the light is actually red?

It is Sunday, November 1.  I know.  Where did the time go?  It seems like only yesterday it was October and now it is November.  Anyway, you still have 10 days until I celebrate the 36^th anniversary of my 30^th birthday, in case you haven’t gone shopping yet.  Today we remember the birthdays of Benvenuto Cellini, Stephen Crane and Keith Emerson.  On this day in 79 (not ’79, just 79) Pompei was buried by Mt Vesuvius, in 1894 the vaccine for diphtheria was announced by Dr Roux of Paris and in 1969 the Beatles’ “Abbey Road” album went to #1 and stayed there for 11 weeks.  It is State Day in Antigua, Memorial Day in Togo and Author’s Day in the US.

I saw an incident recently that exhibited, once again, how totally unaware of their surroundings some people are.  I was in the parking lot of a large strip mall and was walking to a store when I heard a grinding noise.  I turned to look and a car had driven up over a curb and was now hung up there.  It seems that the driver was trying to do a pull-through rather than having to back out of the space she was in.  What she either didn’t notice or saw and then forgot was that there was a curb in front of her car.  In this lot, every so often, they have a narrow island that runs the length of the lot.  Why?  Who knows?  Maybe the contractor got a good deal on the blocks used to build it.  The point is that it is at least four inches high and this person tried to drive over it.  Oops!  So this week’s driving tip is look before you try to drive off.  The undercarriage you save may be your own.

As we settle in to our new home, one thing becomes more and more obvious to me.  It is impossible to replace anything that we have in the house.  One example of this is our front door.  The door has brass hardware that did not hold up well to the weather and sunlight.  From what I can tell, it is the hardware that was put in when the development was first built 10 years ago.  I am fairly sure it is not top quality and, as with most things, was designed with planned obsolescence in mind.  No problem.  The lovely Elaine and I decided that we wanted to change the color of the door and go to satin nickel with the hardware. Sounds simple, right?

Wrong!  The first problem is that the door has a knocker on it that has a peep hole.  Why they needed a peep hole is beyond me.  There is a panel of windows on either side of the door.  If I want to know who is at my door, I can simply look out those windows.  So why is the knocker with a peep hole a problem?  The main reason is because they do not sell them in stores anymore.  I can go on-line if I want one, but it will cost me over $50, plus shipping, to get a replacement.  What makes it more of an issue is that the door is a steel door.  If I get a knocker without a peep hole, I now have a hole drilled in the door that I will have to patch. 

I did find one on-line and ordered it.  When it was delivered I discovered that not all of these things are standard.  On the one that I got everything was good, except that the screw holes were six inches, on center, and I needed 4 inches.  I ended up having to return it.  In looking further, I was surprised at how many did not provide that information.  I would think that would be information that would be important to know.  The various stores sell door knockers without peep holes, and fortunately, they give the screw measurements on the package.  I was able to find one and now all I have to do is figure out what to do with the interior hole.  I thought I could just put some kind of fancy hook there and hang seasonal decorations on it.  I mentioned this to the lovely Elaine and got the look.  Oh well, I will figure something out.

Another issue we have is with our stove.  The previous owners did a fair amount of damage to the face plate.  It seems they decided to scrub the plastic with steel wool.  Not a good idea.  The other thing they did, and I am not sure how, is they managed to chip the paint off the burners and there are sections that are down to bare metal.  I decided that, while I am sure it would not be cheap, it would be easy to simply go to the manufacturer’s web site and order replacements.  The previous owners had left all the booklets on the appliances so I had all the information – model, style, part name and number, etc. – so that I could get what I needed.  I went to their web site and found out that the stove is no longer manufactured and parts are not available anymore.  Don’t ya just love it?  

Otherwise, we are slowly adjusting to being here.  The biggest problem is adapting to the new space.  We were in our old house for 36 years and got used to things being in a certain place.  As an example, in the old house, our stove was free-standing and we were able to use a magnetic towel bar and hooks on the side for a dish towel and oven mitts.  Now our stove is built in and there are no sides available for that.  We have been able to come up with adjustments, but it takes time to develop alternatives that are convenient and sensible.   We are adapting and I am sure that by the time we are here 36 years we will have everything sorted out.

For those of you who are wondering, we are still not completely done with the old house.  There is the matter of a stairway that needs to be completed.  The contractor got started on the job and then decided that it was a good time to go away for a couple weeks, so that whole issue is still pending.  It is our hope that this will all be settled in the next few days.  Stay tuned!

This week our fact tells us that the active ingredient in Chinese Bird’s Nest soup is saliva.  Whose?  How does it get in the soup?  Does someone just walk by while it is cooking and make a contribution?  Is it special saliva?  Is there some sort of saliva section in catalogs for this kind of thing?  Just one more reason why I never order this item.

Have a good week and stop by again.

It is Sunday, October 25 and there are only 61 days until Christmas.  I know!  Where does the time go?  Time to go shopping for guar gum, polysorbate 80 and the other ingredients needed to make your fruit cake last forever since no one eats it.  Today we remember the birthdays of Johann Strauss, Minnie Pearl and Anne Tyler.  On this day in 1760 King George III ascended the British throne, in 1870 postcards were first used in the US and in 1962 American author John Steinbeck was awarded the Nobel Prize in literature.  In Taiwan it is Restoration Day, in the Virgin Islands it is Thanksgiving Day and in the US it is Mother-in-Law’s Day.

One of the things I have been wondering about lately is the big deal they have been making about finding water on Mars.  I am not sure why I should care or how the find affects me.  I know that it will not reduce my water bill or sewage bill in any way.  I am pretty sure that it will not change the way things are done here on earth.  The only thing that might happen is that our state taxes may go up because our governor will want to build a steel wall to protect the planet from storm surges.  

Maybe I have the wrong attitude about this.  When I heard they were sending a rocket to Mars I asked “Why?”  When everyone was getting excited about being able to see Mars, I asked “Why?”  Now there is a big to-do over discovering that there may have been water at some time and I ask “So what?”  There may have been water in the basement of my old house at some time, too, but so what.  We spent millions of dollars to send a rocket up there to look at a planet that cannot support life (except for Matt Damon), that would take way too long to get to if it could and that may have had some kind of water at some point.  To make things more exciting, the water may have been salt water, so we would not even be able to use it, if it still exists.  We couldn’t find something better to do with that money than fly to Mars?

According to the Jetsons, we are supposed to have flying cars.  If the GE pavilion at the New York World’s Fair in 1964 was to be believed, we were supposed to harness the power of electricity and the sun to have a bevy of conveniences and advances in everyday life.  I will say that the microwave oven has made it easier and quicker to make popcorn and to reheat leftovers.  I will also say that the crock pot has made cooking easier because it can happen while you are doing other things.  But generally speaking, we are still doing things the way we used to.  Granted, the appliances are fancier and take more time to figure out, but a stove is still just a stove and an oven still has to pre-heat before it can be used.

We now have electric cars and we don’t have to worry about having a six hundred mile extension cord so that we can drive around in one.  We are developing cars that can see around us and brake for us so that we don’t run into the car ahead of us (although I think paying attention would be a good idea), but we still have not developed the flying cars and the cars that can drive themselves just by having us key in our destination … but I digress

As I asked earlier, couldn’t we come up with a better way to spend millions and millions of dollars rather than fly to Mars?  I admit that I watch a fair amount of TV.  One of the things I have noticed is that there are new drugs coming out every day and these drugs are for all sorts of afflictions.  As a side note, have you noticed that they are generally for people with moderate to severe whatever.  What do people do who have mild to moderate problems?  Do they just leave the affliction alone until it crosses the line and becomes moderate to severe so that they can take advantage of the drugs that are available?  Sorry, digressing again.  What I am wondering is if we saved the money we spent on going to Mars, could we have helped the pharmaceutical companies develop a drug that wouldn’t cause us six different types of harm, including cancer and suicidal thoughts, while curing toenail fungus?

Here is another thought for those funds.  Let’s update the computer systems used by the government so that they cannot be hacked as easily as they are now.  Maybe if the government upgraded from the Commodore 64’s and the Apple Macintoshes, they could install better software to protect their systems.  Perhaps if they paid better salaries (which they could afford by not going to Mars) they could hire qualified individuals to monitor the systems and prevent incursions.  I am reasonably confident that we could find a number of ways to better use those funds.

I am not opposed to discovering new and different things.  I am in favor of discovery.  I am opposed to doing things like going to Mars.  There is no real value to the trip, we really didn’t gain a whole lot from the effort and I am not sure what the value really is for what we did learn.  They claim that there is evidence that there was water.  Great!  Now what?  Is there a way to prove beyond doubt that there was water?  Is there a way to collect that water and bring it back to earth?  Is there a way to use that water once we have it?  Is it safe to bring it back here?  

They say that water is a sign that there might have been some form of life.  It appears that both the water and the form of life have gone away.  That should tell us something – stay away from Mars.  Or, maybe there is life, but when they saw us coming they turned off their faucets and went and hid in their basements.

This week our fact tells us that scientists have calculated by the Bible and other theological writings, that the temperature of hell is 718^o C or 1324.4^o F.  I am not sure how they could have done that or why.  Realistically, the only ones who would know are the ones who are there and they can’t tell us because, well, they are dead and gone.  I wonder if they have water there.