It is Sunday, September 20 and Fall begins in three days.  That means that the Christmas candy should be on the shelves any day now.  Today we remember the birthdays of Ferdinand (Jelly Roll) Morton, Anne Meara and Pia Lindstrom.  On this day in 1519 Magellan started his first circumnavigation of the world, in 1877 Chase National Bank opened in New York City and in 1985 Walt Disney World greeted its 200-millionth guest.  Slow holiday day this week.  In Laos it is Thanksgiving.

Just a few words regarding Walt Disney World.  It opened on October 1, 1971.  Just  11 days short of being open for 14 years they had over 200 million guests.  That is a lot of people and a good deal of income.  Is it too much to ask that they finally get an 800 number?  But I digress …

The lovely Elaine and I travelled to Disney World back in 1974.  We went by train because we could not afford both airlines tickets and a decent hotel.  Keep in mind that back then they did not have the variety of hotels that they have now.  We stayed in the Contemporary and it was great.  In those days, when you entered the park, you were given a coupon book that had tickets ranging from A to E.  The rides were categorized the same way.  

You had a good number of A tickets and could ride the Dumbo ride to your heart’s content.  There were slightly fewer B tickets, fewer C and so on until the end when you only got two E tickets.  Of course, the best rides were the E rides, so you had to make a choice as to which two you wanted to go on.  I believe they had additional ride tickets available, but the cost involved pints of blood and such.  It was quite an experience back then and continues to be one now.  There are a number of hotels and meal packages, special deals and you can still buy just about anything with some sort of mouse ears on it.  If you have never been, I recommend that you go.  It is truly a fun place to be.  Just don’t try to call them on their 800 number.  They do not have one!

Anyway, life in our new place continues.  We are adjusting, but it still feels like we are in a hotel and will be packing our luggage and heading home soon.  That feeling is fading as we realize that no one is coming in to make our bed, bring us clean towels and new little wrapped bars of soap.  Receiving our first utility bills is also a good indicator that we are, in fact, home.

I will tell you that I had a very disconcerting moment shortly after we moved in.  I was taking a shower in our walk-in glass shower stall.  At one point I turned and looked over to see myself, in all my naked glory (??) in the wall mirror across the room.  I realize that I am nowhere near buff or toned and I could stand to work on tightening up my physique.  But you have no idea what a shock it was to see this chubby, slightly sagging, naked old guy looking back at me from the mirror.  I decided that I had to do something about that right away.  So now, when I shower, I keep my eyes down so that I don’t have to see that anymore.  Problem solved!

We are working to get our routines back.  I have mapped out the distance so that we can do our daily walking.  That has become so much easier now that we do not live on a hill.  It used to be a real chore knowing that the first few minutes of our walk everyday was uphill.  Now it is all level and easier to get started.  I see some of the same people every day and, as the lovely Elaine pointed out, there are several types of people.  Some say hello or good morning as you pass, some just nod their head in your direction and some just look straight ahead and ignore you.

I am still trying to figure out the proper etiquette for the greetings.  Generally, because the community is not huge, the chances are that you will come across the same people at least twice during your walk.  The first time you see them you say hello or good morning.  What do you do when you see them again?  Do you just nod?  If you just nodded when you first saw them, do you ignore them now?  I think I should say something, but I am not sure what.  Maybe I should just warn them to be careful and make sure that they keep hydrated.  Or I could comment on how fast they are moving for an old person.  Another option would be to ask if they have a living will, just in case.  The lovely Elaine says I should just shut up.  I find that she says that a lot.  I wonder why?

For those of you who are wondering, we have not yet shed ourselves of the old house.  We are, hopefully, getting closer to wrapping that up, but nothing is easy when you are dealing with lawyers and town officials.  Suffice it to say that we are anxious to have this done so that we can stop supporting two houses.  I am relatively sure that the buyers are just as anxious so that they can get in and start making it their home.  I keep telling the lovely Elaine not to worry, that it will all be taken care of.  She keeps giving me the look.  Stay tuned for the next chapter of this continuing saga.

This week our fact tells us that platypuses can consume their own body weight in food in a 24 hour period.  Big deal!  There are several different holidays where I feel like I have done that in less than 24 hours and I am much bigger than your average platypus.

Be sure to wish all your Laotian friends a Happy Thanksgiving!

It is Sunday, September 13 and there are only 74 days until Thanksgiving, so start looking for those stretchy pants and getting ready to watch football with your trousers unbuttoned.  Today we remember the birthdays of Milton Hershey, Mel Torme and Peter Cetera.  On this day in 1788 New York City became the capital of the United States, in 1948 Margaret Chase Smith was elected senator and became the first woman to serve in both houses of Congress and in 1977 the first TV viewer discretion warning was issued, for the show “Soap.”  In Rhodesia it is Pioneer Day, in the US it is National Grandparents Day and world-wide it is Dante Alighieri Day.

You are probably wondering who Dante Alighieri is and why he has a day.  Not all of you, but a couple of you, at least.  Dante was an Italian poet and moral philosopher best known for the epic poem The Divine Comedy, which comprises sections representing the three tiers of the Christian afterlife: purgatory, heaven, and hell. This poem, a great work of medieval literature and considered the greatest work of literature composed in Italian, is a philosophical Christian vision of mankind’s eternal fate. Dante is seen as the father of modern Italian, and his works have flourished since before his 1321 death.  Dante Alighieri was born in 1265 to a family with a history of involvement in the complex Florentine political scene, and this setting would become a feature in his Inferno years later.

Dante began to immerse himself in the study of philosophy and the machinations of the Florentine political scene. Florence then was a tumultuous city, with factions representing the papacy and the empire continually at odds, and Dante held a number of important public posts. In 1302, however, he fell out of favor and was exiled for life by the leaders of the Black Guelphs, the political faction in power at the time and who were in league with Pope Boniface VIII. In his exile, Dante traveled and wrote, conceiving The Divine Comedy, and he withdrew from all political activities.   The Divine Comedy is an allegory of human life presented as a visionary trip through the Christian afterlife, written as a warning to a corrupt society to steer itself to the path of righteousness.  Now you have a better understanding of who he was.  Why does he have his own day?  I do not know (shoulder shrug).

We are working at becoming fully ensconced in our new abode.  We are cleaning and polishing furniture and getting things organized.  The lovely Elaine has even cleaned the bottles and cans of cleaning products before putting them in their proper place.  We still have no idea where most things are and I find myself wandering around opening cabinet doors and drawers until I find what I need.  The problem is that I do not always remember where an item was and end up putting it back in a different place.  This means that the next time it is needed, we will have to wander and open things until we find it again.  Fortunately, the lovely Elaine does not remember where she put everything, so she does not holler at me for putting it back in the wrong place, yet.

We have started hanging art work and believe me when I tell you that I make this a major project for myself.  I can be somewhat OCD at times and the hanging of art work is one of those times.  I have two different types of nails, two different size hooks and a couple different screws to use, depending on what is being hung.  In addition, I have my tape measure and a laser level to make sure that each item is centered and leveled properly.  I usually have the lovely Elaine come into the room and tell me how far up she wants something hung.  Once we have established that and I make a mark on the wall to show where it should go, she leaves the room and I get started.

Did you know that, generally, picture frames are not simple measurements like 17 inches or 24 inches or other things like that?  No-o-o-o!  That would make it too simple.  I was measuring one frame so that I would know what I was working with and the size was 36 ¾ inches.  I am trying to center and hang this in a space that is 80 inches wide.  What makes it worse is that I need to use two nails, one on each end, and the hangers are ¾ of an inch from the top and one inch in from the side.  The two questions that immediately came to my mind were – do we really want to hang this piece and is there a way for me to get my hands on the framer of this thing?  I was assured by Elaine that we did want to hang it.  It is up, it is level and it is centered, but I am still not having nice thoughts about the framer.

I was back at the old house the other day because the work was supposed to start on the deck demolition (I will explain at a later date).  Unfortunately, it did not because, after weeks without rain, that day was the day it rained.  The work was moved to the next day and we continue to plod forward on that front.  I hope to be able to shed that burden soon.  We are currently paying for taxes, utilities and insurance on both and as my father used to say, “I am not made of money” so we need to end that situation soon.   I cannot wait to unload and tell you that whole saga when the time comes.  It may have to be a two-parter!

This week our fact tells us that you cannot snore and dream at the same time.  Of course not!  How can you dream when your wife keeps elbowing you and telling you to roll over and stop making that infernal noise?

It is Sunday, September 6 and there are only 110 days until Christmas.  No seasonal music allowed yet, but every once in a while I sneak some in.  Today we remember the birthdays of the Marquis de Lafayette, Joseph P. Kennedy and Bryan D. O’Connor.  On this day in 1620 the Pilgrims set sail from Plymouth, England to the new world, in 1853 the Women’s Rights Convention was held in New York City and in 1978 Begin and Sadat met at Camp David to discuss peace.  In Pakistan it is Defense Day, in Swaziland it is Somhlolo Day and tomorrow is Labor Day in the US.

I’ll bet that some of you were going through your useless information file and realized that you were a little lean on Labor Day information.  I don’t want to overload you, but I do feel like I should share some information like I do with other holidays.  So here you go –

Labor Day constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity and well-being of our country.  The first governmental recognition came through municipal ordinances passed during 1885 and 1886.  In 1894, Congress passed an act making the first Monday in September a legal holiday.  There is so much more I could tell you, but, like I said, I don’t want to overload you.  If you feel you need more, feel free to google it.

Well, the movers came this past week, loaded all our stuff and brought it to the new house.  We are now in the process of putting it all away.  We are trying to figure out how we want to lay the kitchen out.  We have a lot more cabinet space than we had and the kitchen is configured differently than in our old place.  So now we have a two-fold problem.  First we have to figure out what will go where in the cabinets and then we have to remember where we put everything when we go to use it.  I am sure that during the first few months, the kitchen will ring with the phrase, “Where the hell did we put (pick a pot, appliance or utensil)?”

One of the biggest issues we are dealing with is where to put a lot of stuff.  In our old house we had a basement.  When we could not come up with a place to put something, it was consigned to the basement.  We do not have a basement now, so we have to find alternative storage.  My son and daughter-in-law are only going to accept a minimal amount of our castoffs before they say no more.  When we were first packing, we decided that if something had not been touched for two or more years or it had a ¼ inch of dust, we did not need it.  The problem now is that we still have more than we need.

We briefly considered using the garage as a hiding place for the excess.  We realized that was not an option when it was explained that the only way our driveway could be cleared when it snowed was if our cars were out of the way – in the garage.  We are trying to work through the problem, but there is room for only so many shelves in there.

We have met a number of our neighbors and they all seem very nice.  Unfortunately, we do not remember most of their names.  They would come by while we were unloading our cars, introduce themselves, chat briefly, welcoming us to the neighborhood and the community and then go on their way.  The lovely Elaine and I would carry our boxes inside and then ask, “What were their names again?”  Generally, we would recall one name but not the other.  We have started doing what many people do in this type of situation.  We wave, say hello, chat and do it all without having to use their name.  I would bet that they are fine with that because they probably do not remember both of our names.

We are still learning our way around the area and finding the important locations like the supermarket, drug store, pizza place, Mexican restaurant and liquor store.  We have found most of what we need.  I have found a Dunkin’ and a Starbucks, so I am good.  As time goes by I am sure we will locate other interesting stores and restaurants.  The exploring will give me something to do so that I don’t have to get involved in the kitchen organizing.

I have been working to get my weight down.  As a diabetic, I know that part of the problem is caused by weight.  With that in mind I have been walking and trying to watch what I eat. Not watch it as it goes from the plate to my mouth, but watch it as in being aware of what I consume.  I recently did a questionnaire to determine my body mass and correct weight.  Based on my age and height, the result told me what my weight and body mass should be.  According to the results I need to lose at least 40 pounds.  If I do that my concern will not be for body mass but for a funeral mass.  I would like to see the size of the people who conceived this chart.  I would be willing to bet that they do not conform to the body mass index they are pushing, either.

This week our fact tells us that over 10,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows.  If this tidbit ever becomes public knowledge, animal rights activists will want to start requiring window manufacturers to put some kind of decal on windows to prevent birds from smashing into them.  Others will claim that it is not our place to mess with the natural order of things.  Imagine how many more birds would be around if they weren’t flying into windows.  We would be overrun!  My advice is to just not walk too close to the buildings with lots of windows and if you must, wear a hat.

It is Sunday, August 30 and there are only 72 shopping days until my birthday.  Today we remember the birthdays of Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, Huey P Long and Warren Buffet.  On this day in 257 St. Sixtus II began his reign as Catholic Pope, in 1850 Honolulu officially became a city and in 1967 the US Senate confirmed Thurgood Marshall as the first black Supreme Court justice.  In Afghanistan it is Children’s Day, in Gibralter it is Bank Holiday and in Turkey it is Victory Day.

Well, the big day is coming closer.  Soon we will be moving out of our house of 36 years and moving into our new home.  We have had the new place for a month now, but it has taken this long to get it cleaned and ready for us to live in.  As I mentioned in the past, the prior owners were not slobs, but they were casual about cleaning.  On the other hand, the lovely Elaine is obsessive about cleaning, trying to erase any evidence of the people who were there before. 

One of the most recent issues was the need to clean up all the paint spatters as a result of the DIY painting done by the former tenants.  Yes we had painting done, but the spatters were not the colors we used.  They were the colors that we covered up.  They did not tape around outlets and switch plates so those all had to be scraped and cleaned.  The lovely Elaine spent one afternoon sitting on the floor of the one bathroom scraping the paint off the floor with a razor blade.  I was content to leave it and just tell people that it was the design in the tile.  She gave me the look and then got back to work.

We have shampooed the rugs and cleaned the floors.  The windows have all been washed, inside and out, and the frames and screens vacuumed.  The stove and microwave have been degreased and cleaned, the counters scrubbed, the bathroom floors scrubbed (yes scrubbed, as in me on my hands and knees with a brush) and all the fans and light fixtures have been cleaned.  I cannot think of anything we missed, but if I do I will not tell her about it or we will end up taking whatever it is down or apart and cleaning it thoroughly.  

A problem we have also been having lately is losing things.  We have the item in our hand, put it down and then cannot find it when we need it.  I am not sure why this keeps happening, but it is becoming maddening.  The worst part is that when we finally find it, it is right out in the open and we cannot figure out why it took so long to see it.  I read a short story once that claimed that there are elves that exist in the world between seconds.  The story claimed that the elves would move things around during the period of time between the seconds and sometimes they would not get the objects back in time.  They would then have to wait for the next opportunity to replace the item.  That is why you cannot find something and then suddenly it is right where you left it.  At the time I thought that was a most unusual  far-fetched idea.  Lately, I am beginning to wonder if it is actually possible.

We are still going through the various levels of foolishness with the town where our old house is.  I do not want to discuss it too much now because I do not want to take the chance that one of them will read this and be offended.  I doubt that they would see it, but it would be my luck to have someone see it and tell them about it.  I will fill you in on all that once we are out and done with that circus.

On a different subject, we were out recently and went along a stretch of road that had bicycles painted on the road.  I am not sure what the symbols represented, but they were all along this one section, in both directions.  I looked at them and felt that something was needed.  The symbol was just a bicycle.  I told the lovely Elaine that I wanted to come back some evening and paint stick figures on the bikes doing various tricks.  She told me I couldn’t.  When I asked why, she said she had enough to do with the new house.  She did not want to have to waste time bailing me out of jail and going to court with me.  I try to offer new experiences for her, but she just isn’t always interested.

This week our fact tells us that only the male turkey gobbles.  Females make a clicking noise.  Most married men know that sound.  When you see it in print it is spelled tsk, tsk.  I get that noise a lot from the lovely Elaine.

Have a good week!